100+ Valentine’s Day Jokes That Are So Ridiculous

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best valentines day jokes

Before we start? We want to ask you these questions! Have you ever heard what Valentine’s Day Jokes is all about? Or have you come across any anti-jokes that have actually made you laugh or talk or feel ridiculous?

Well, here is the opportunity for you to understand how funny Valentine’s Day Jokes can be and at the same time thought-provoking! Here are our 100+ Valentine’s Day Jokes That Are So Ridiculous and at the same time trending and satisfying!

Everybody adores a joke. Regardless of whether you’re not into affection, sentiment and all that kissy stuff, despite everything you’ll love to chuckle at these amusing Valentine’s Day jokes and funnies.

A ruler was put under a spell with the goal that he could express just single word every year. In the event that he didn’t represent two years, the next year he could express two words, etc.

At some point, he experienced passionate feelings for an excellent woman. He shunned representing two entire years so he could call her “my dear.” But then he needed to disclose to her he adored her, so he held up three additional years. Toward the finish of these five years, he needed to request that her wed him, so he held up an additional four years. At last, as the ninth year of quiet finished, he drove the woman to the most sentimental spot in the realm and stated, “My dear, I love you! Will you wed me?” And the woman stated, “Exculpation?”

Zach: What did one fire say to the next on Valentine’s Day?

Scott: Tell me.

Zach: “We’re an ideal match.”

All of a sudden a lovely lady strolled up and stated: “We need to wed.”

“Why?” asked the man, grinning.

“I just stepped on one of those bothersome purple mushrooms!” she answered.

A lady was sleeping on Valentine’s Day evening. After she arose, she disclosed to her better half, “I recently envisioned that you gave me a beautiful and costly jewel accessory for Valentine’s Day! What do you think it implies?”

“You’ll know this evening,” he said.

That night, her significant other got back home with a little bundle for her. Excited, she opened it and found a book titled “The Meaning of Dreams.”

So, the next time if you want a break from your boredom, just read these 100+ Valentine’s Day Jokes That Are So Ridiculous!

What did the one sheep say to the other?
I love ewe!

best valentines day jokes

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What do you call the world’s smallest Valentine’s Day card?
A valen-teeny.

famous valentines day jokes

What do you call a ghost’s true love?
His ghoul-friend.

funny valentines day jokes

What kind of flowers should you NOT give on Valentine’s Day?
Cauliflowers!

popular valentines day jokes

What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card?
Be my Valen-slime!

valentines day jokes

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What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
I’m stuck on you!

What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!

What did the cucumber say to the pickle?
You mean a great dill to me.

How did the phone propose to his GF?
He gave her a ring.

And how did the other sheep respond?
You’re not so baaaaaa-d yourself

What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses.

And what did the tweenager give his mom?
Ughs and kisses!

What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day?
I wuv you watts and watts!

What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Luke
Luke who?
Luke who got a Valentine!

Why is Valentine’s Day a good day for a party?
Because you can really party hearty!

What do owls say to declare their love?
Owl be yours!

What did one bee say to the other?
I love bee-ing with you, honey!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!

Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day?
They are very scent-imental creatures.

What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day?
The day after when all the candy is on sale.

What did the painter say to her sweetheart?
I love you with all my art.

What did Robin Hood say to his girlfriend?
Sherwood like to be your valentine.

Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend?
He stole her heart.

What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.

One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years. Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?” And the lady said, “Pardon?”

Zach: What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
Scott: Tell me.
Zach: “We’re a perfect match.”

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Two antennae met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasn’t fancy. The reception, however, was excellent.

“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods. He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to marry.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!” she replied.

A book never written: “Avoiding Valentine’s Day” by I.M.N. Love.

Tom Swiftie: “Let’s make our own Valentines,” Tom said craftily.
Joke by Kevin A., Winston-Salem, N.C.
Tom Swiftie: “She tore my valentine in half!” said Tom half-heartedly.

A woman was taking a nap on Valentine’s Day afternoon. After she awoke, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a gorgeous and expensive diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight,” he said.
That evening, her husband came home with a small package for her. Thrilled, she opened it and found a book titled “The Meaning of Dreams.”

Will: Why do oars fall in love?
Eric: Why?
Will: Because they’re row-mantic.

A Cub Scout found a frog that said, “Kiss me and I will become a beautiful princess.”
The boy studied the frog, then put it in his pocket.
“Hey,” the frog croaked, “how come you didn’t kiss me?”
“I’d rather have a talking frog than a princess any day!”

I just got a text from my girlfriend that said, “I bought you an awesome Valentine’s Day gift! xox”
I really hope she spelled “Xbox” wrong.

Craig: Why do melons have to get married in churches?
Joe: Why?
Craig: Because they cantaloupe!

Justin: What did the boy candy say to the girl candy?
John: I haven’t a clue.
Justin: “It’s Valentine’s Day and we’re mint for each other.”

Dawson: What do pigs give on Feb. 14?
Brad: I don’t know.
Dawson: Valen-swines!

Tobin: What happened to your leg?
Matt: I went to a seafood dance on Valentine’s Day.
Tobin: And?
Matt: I pulled a mussel!

Ben: What did one magnet say to the other magnet on Valentine’s Day?
Finn: I have no idea. What?
Ben: “I find you very attractive!”

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Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it’s all heart.

What happens when you fall in love with a French chef? You get buttered up.

What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.

What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re one in a melon!

What did the bat say to his girlfriend? You’re fun to hang around with.

What do you call a very small valentine? A valentiny!

What did the flame say to his friends after he fell in love? I found the perfect match!

What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel on Valentine’s Day? I’m nuts about you!

What did one bee say to the other bee on Valentine’s Day? Will you bee mine?

What did the farmer give his wife on Valentine’s Day? Hogs and kisses!

What did one pickle say to the other? You mean a great dill to me!

Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration? Because you can party hearty.

How can you tell the calendar is popular? It always has a lot of dates.

What does a vampire call his sweetheart? His ghoul-friend.

What did one oar say to the other oar? How about a little row-mance?

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? I love you a ton!

Where do burgers take their Valentine’s Day dates to dance? To the meatball.

What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp? Stick with me and you’ll go places.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? I’m stuck on you.

What do you call romance in a fish tank? Guppy love.

Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Because they’re scent-imental.

What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.

What kind of flower is the worst to get on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflower.

What does a caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day? Ughs and kisses.

What did one octopus say to the other octopus? Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

How did the phone propose? He gave her a ring.

What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day? You’re purr-fect for me.

What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget- me-nuts.

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? I’m sweet on you.

What did the one sheep say to the other sheep on Valentine’s Day? I love ewe.

What did one sheep say to the other sheep on Valentine’s Day? I love you baaaaaaaaa…..ck.

What did one owl say to the other owl on Valentine’s Day? Owl be yours!

What did one light bulb say to the other? I love you a whole watt!

And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

What did the painter say to her boyfriend? “I love you with all my art!”

Why didn’t Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer’s heart? Because even Cupid can’t hit a target that small.

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What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? “I’m stuck on you!”

What would you call a woman who goes out with You? Desperate!

What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.

I didn’t know angels could fly so low.

For Valentines Day I have been contemplating my current and past relationships. I organized the data and plotted it using an Ex-Axis and a Why-Axis.

I’m gonna spend Valentine ‘s Day with my ex… Box 360.

Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.

If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, ‘What did you do?’

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

Dear men, “I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day” is the same as “I’m fine.” You’re welcome.

What is the true purpose of Valentine’s Day? To remind single people they are single.

I can’t wait for Valentine’s Day because I get to make cupcakes for a special someone and that special someone is me.

What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? “I’m sweet on you!”

What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day? The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

What did the light bulb say to the switch? “You turn me on.”

I never loved you any more than I do, right this second. And I’ll never love you any less than I do, right this second.

Grocery store flowers on Valentine’s Day: show someone you care slightly more than not at all.

The best part of being married on Valentine’s Day is having all your expectations fulfilled. Because you have no expectations.

Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration? Because you can really party hearty!

What is a vampire’s sweetheart called? His ghoul-friend.

Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it’s all heart.

What do single people call Valentine’s Day? Happy Independence Day!

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She didn’t suit his taste!

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