70+ United Airlines Jokes For A Bon Voyage Experience

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popular united airlines jokes

In this segment of humour and laughter, we will be analysing some hysterical comments and remarks that people made on United Airlines in the recent times, after the aviation unit was surrounded by a vicious circle of controversy which pulled down the overall reputation and goodness of the airline on the whole.

So, keeping that in mind we have actually compiled 70+ United Airlines Jokes for a great Bon Voyage experience! Sounds ridiculous? Worry not! This is just meant for laugh and sharing the pearls of joy with your near and dear ones. Ready to read United Airlines Jokes? Here we go!

Down below are some popular United Airlines Jokes which will make you laugh non-stop!

UPDATE: United Airlines currently offering another expansion to their inflight dinners

Chinese takeout

 

What earphones does United Airlines use?

Beats by Dr.

 

Breaking News: In a press media instruction, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz has expressed…

“Since we can’t beat our rivals, we have depended on beating our clients”.

 

What’s the contrast between Game of Thrones and United Airlines?

One has winged serpents and different has drag-offs

 

It’s a disgrace Carrie Fisher was on a United Airlines flight when she had her coronary episode.

On the off chance that she was on another aircraft there might have been a specialist ready.

Things that will get you commenced a United Airlines flight:

 

1)Wearing tights

2)Having a United Airlines ticket

 

Did you catch wind of the honour United Airlines just got?

They were casted a ballot best in Chinese takeaway!

 

Such a significant number of bombed United Airlines jokes…

They simply don’t get off the ground.

 

Joined Airlines pays “tremendous entirety to Dr. Dao who they hauled of plane”

Biggest bill for Chinese take out to date

 

I request eggs through United Airlines when making omelettes.

Since they come pre-beaten.

 

4/5 specialists suggest joined aircrafts

You can’t beat that!

 

I was going to poke a United Airlines fun at the specialist…

Be that as it may, it became overly enthusiastic

 

Have you seen that old Nick Cage motion picture about United Airlines?

Con Air.

 

What’s the distinction between United Airlines and a performer’s cap?

You can’t haul a live hare out of a United stream.

 

Sean Spicer, United Airlines CEO and Pepsi’s PR group stroll into a bar…

They’re all getting terminated, so drinking on a Tuesday is adequate.

 

I’m beginning to feel that the assembled aircrafts images resemble continuing on pointlessly.

so to spare everybody some vitality I purchased the pony a pass to fly United.

Well, the above jokes prove that we do have any option to not to fly in United Airlines. But, we do have the liberty to laugh at the way they operate the Airlines!

I was gonna make a United Airlines joke about the doctor…
But it got carried away

best united airlines jokes

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Have you seen that old Nick Cage movie about United Airlines?
Con Air.

famous united airlines jokes

If United Airlines are ever underbooked
will they force people to get on?

funny united airlines jokes

So many failed United Airlines jokes…
They just don’t get off the ground.

popular united airlines jokes

United Airlines just dropped a new song…
It’s a big hit!

united airlines jokes

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United Airlines now offering a new addition to their inflight meals
chinese takeout

What headphones does United Airlines use?
Beats by Dr.

Breaking News: In a press media briefing, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz has stated…
“Since we cannot beat our competitors, we have resorted to beating our customers”.

What’s the difference between Game of Thrones and United Airlines?
One has dragons and the other has drag-offs

It’s a shame Carrie Fisher was on a United Airlines flight when she had her heart attack.
If she was on another airline there might have been a doctor on board.

Did you hear about the award United Airlines just got?
They were voted best in Chinese takeaway!

United Airlines will treat you like a King!
Rodney King, that is.

Was going to do United Airlines joke
But everyone already United Airlined me to it.

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4/5 doctors recommend united airlines
You can’t beat that!

United Airlines pays “enormous sum to Dr. Dao who they dragged of plane”
Largest bill for Chinese take out to date

What’s the difference between United Airlines and a magician’s hat?
You can’t pull a live rabbit out of a United jet.

I order eggs through United Airlines when making omelets.
Because they come pre-beaten.

I’m starting to feel that the united airlines memes are like beating a dead horse.
so to save everyone some energy I bought the horse a ticket to fly United.

Was out of the loop. Asian friend told me United Airlines has the power to deny your liberties
He said they punched his rights out.

United Airlines new customer service motto: If you can’t beat ’em….
….BEAT ‘EM!

Sean Spicer, United Airlines CEO and Pepsi’s PR team walk into a bar…
They’re all getting fired, so drinking on a Tuesday is acceptable.

In order for United Airlines to keep their business…
They’re really gonna have to have unbeatable prices!

Q: A plane crashed and every single person died except four, Why?
A: Because they were flying United Airlines

I think my work is boring and not challenging enough…
I think it’s time to apply for a United Airlines Spokesperson position!

I love to sleep naked.
…And that’s why I am banned from flying united airlines.

A message from Comcast…
Thank you United Airlines!

“Its ok to hit a man with glasses.”
– United Airlines

A massive rabbit aboard a United Airlines flight turns to the passenger sitting next to him and says
“Ehhh, what’s up Doc?”

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How do you eat your United Airlines meal?
Through a straw.

American airlines, Delta Air Lines, and United Airlines all had a race…
United Airlines beat them all, united airlines beats EVERYBODY.

Did you hear that United Airlines just updated their motto?
“United Airlines: Beating our competition, AND our passengers, since 1926!”

What’s United Airlines most popular in-flight drink?
Punch.

United airlines- arrive as a doctor
Leave as a patient.

Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?
Because they allow 1 free carrion

What did the dog say about the United Airlines Employee?
Ruff

What does United Airlines and The United Center have in common?
The cheap seat are nosebleed seats.

“We have Red Eye and Black Eye flights available!”

“You can’t beat our prices! But we can sure beat our passengers!”

“We treat you like we treat your luggage!”

“Supports new drag and drop feature”

“Board as a doctor, leave as a patient.”

“You will be astounded at how explicitly we don’t give a fuck!”

“Once you’re seated, you’ll shortly be mistreated.”

“Aisle, Window or Stretcher?”

“Rows 1-10 are now waterboarding”

“The captain has turned off the no dragging sign”

“Is there a doctor on board? Oops, not anymore”

“United Airlines, the only airline where you can get a nose bleed while the plane is still on the ground!”

“We beat the competition, one passenger at a time.”

“Whatever happens in flight club, stays in flight club”

“I heard of “fight or flight” but this is ridiculous”

“Roses are red. Violets are blue. So will your face be when we’re done with you.”

“We’re overbooked. You’ll pay the price.”

“No more space? Get punched in the face!”

“Making sure doctors get to the hospital”

“Life is hard, don’t beat yourself up. Let United do it for you.”

“Every passenger gets a complimentary hospital visit!”

“Drag me to my destination.”

“Hands on customer service is who we are and what we do!”

“We’ll greet you, seat you, then beat you”

“Just imagine how we treat your luggage”

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“We put the “hospital” in hospitality!”

“Trump is sitting in Maralago right now wondering why he didn’t hire United CEO for secretary of state instead”

“Next time my kids refuse to get out of bed, I’m calling United Airlines”

“Cheap Food. Cheap Drinks. Cheap Flights. Cheap Shots.”

“Beatings will continue till volunteering improves!”

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