80+ The Man With Two Brains Quotes Tell Us About The Story Of A Brain Surgeon

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These The Man With Two Brains quotes tell us about the story of a brain surgeon. There are so many The Man With Two Brains quotes that can help you when you are tired of being in the same old rut, and all you need is a little push, a little inspiration, a smile on the face, change of mood, bring you out of the banality of life, make you laugh a little, or may even make you cry a bit, and these The Man With Two Brains quotes exists just do that.

The Man with Two Brains is a 1983 American sci-fi satire movie coordinated via Carl Reiner and featuring Steve Martin and Kathleen Turner. Composed by Martin, Reiner and George Gipe, The Man with Two Brains is an expansive satire, with Martin featuring as Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr, a spearheading neurosurgeon with a brutal and unfaithful new spouse, Dolores Benedict played by Turner. The story of The Man With Two Brains is about Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr played by Steve Martin, who is a bereaved cerebrum specialist. He spares the life of Dolores Benedict played by Kathleen Turner, a gold-burrowing femme fatale who is incidentally kept running over by Michael when escaping the location of her most recent spouse’s deadly coronary, which her malignant personality recreations and plotting caused.

As she recuperates, Michael begins to look all starry-eyed and they wed. From the minute he conveys her over the limit, Dolores torments Michael by professing to be too sick to even think about consummating the marriage, referring to a proceeding with migraine. On a special first night and excursion for work to a medicinal gathering in Vienna, a city living in dread of the sequential “Lift Killer”, Hfuhruhurr meets insane lab rat Dr. Alfred Necessiter played by David Warner, who has made a radical new strategy empowering him to store living minds in fluid-filled containers utilizing the Elevator Killer’s exploited people. Michael finds he can discuss clairvoyantly with one of Necessiter’s cerebrums, that of Anne Uumellmahaye voiced by Sissy Spacek. Michael and the bodiless mind quickly go gaga for, Michael removing the cerebrum to invest more energy with it. Dolores – having discovered that Michael has quite recently gotten a legacy from an auntie – endeavors to reignite their relationship, however gets on to his association with Anne when she spots him in a paddle boat with the container. She endeavors to murder Anne by putting the mind in a broiler, making Michael actually remove Dolores from his home.

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“I never knew it could be like that! [sighs] So… so… professional!”

The Man With Two Brains quotes

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“I wanted to inform the Doctor of her passing.”

The Man With Two Brains saying

“I’ll get you for this, you n*gger kike wop.”

The Man With Two Brains popular quotes

“No, its just a statue of her.”

The Man With Two Brains famous quotes

“So many brains. I feel like a kid in a candy store.”

The Man With Two Brains best quotes

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“Dolores Benedict: Get those assholes off the porch! (about the hired-help, standing next to potted plants, awaiting the couple at the door to the Doctor’s mansion.. )
Dolores Benedict: Get those assholes off the porch! [about the hired-help, standing next to potted plants, awaiting the couple at the door to the Doctor’s mansion]

Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: huh! (laughs naievely).. They’re called azeliahs…
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Huh! [laughs naively] They’re called azaleas.”

Dr. Hfuhruhurr:-
“[Grabbing an expensive vase during a marital spat] Our marriage lies broken on the floor, like the shards of glass on our honeymoon suite! [He slams the vase to the ground, but it bounces back up into his hands.] Ahhh! Oh-ho! 19th-Century Indian rubber vase, eh?!
[After Dolores finally consummates her marriage to Dr. Hfuhruhurr…]”

“[A recurring scene in the operating room…]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Metzenbaum scissors!
Nurse: Metzenbaum scissors!
[A cat meows.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Get that cat out of here!”

“[Dr. Brandon is arguing with Dr. Hfuhruhurr about his performing the operation on Dolores.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: But there’s only one other person I’d trust to perform this operation — Beckerman!
Dr. Brandon: Well Dr. Beckerman was murdered in Europe! You know that!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Exactly! Not only is he dead, he’s six thousand miles away!”

“Dr. Hfuhruhurr: The only time we doctors should accept death is when it’s caused by our own incompetence!
Dr. Necessiter: Nonsense! If the murder of twelve innocent people can help save one human life, it will have been worth it!”

“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr is rowing with Anne’s enjarred brain, complete with sunhat and sunglasses, along an idyllic creek.]
Anne Uumellmahaye: I don’t think there’s a girl floating in any jar anywhere who’s as happy as I am! Oh, Michael, you do so much for me, and I do nothing for you!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Are you out of your head? [pauses] Sorry, I forgot.”

“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr removes Anne’s brain from the oven Dolores tried to bake her in. He tries to cool her off in the sink.]
Anne Uumellmahaye: I… I think I’m alright.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Count to ten!
Anne Uumellmahaye: 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… [pause] 10.
[Dr. Hfuhruhurr turns to Dolores in a rage.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: You! You cooked her nines!”

“[As the police try to stop the experiment…]
Inspector: You are playing God!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: SOMEBODY has to!”

“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr is arguing with Delores.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: [Exasperated] Dolores, I am making a citizen’s divorce.
Dolores: [laughing] What?
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: By the powers vested in me, I hereby declare our marriage null and void! E pluribus unum!”

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“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr is talking to a reporter while driving his car.]
Reporter: Dr. Furrier?
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: It’s Hfuhruhurr.
Reporter: I’m sorry.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: That’s alright. A lot of people mispronounce it, but it sounds just the way it’s spelled: H-F-U-H-R-U-H-U-R-R. Hfuhruhurr.
Reporter: Hfuhruhurr-rurr-rurr.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: That’s good. You just went a little past it, there. Just put the brakes on a little sooner.”

“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr, dressed in a sterile medical “bunny” suit, finds someone has added floppy rabbit ears to it.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: I don’t find this amusing!”

“[Dr. Brandon is arguing with Dr. Hfuhruhurr about his performing the operation on Dolores.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: But there’s only one other person I’d trust to perform this operation — Beckerman!
Dr. Brandon: Wha— Dr. Beckerman was murdered in Europe! You know that!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Exactly! Not only is he dead, he’s six thousand miles away!”

“Dr. Brandon: Six weeks, and you haven’t made love to your wife yet? No wonder you’re tense!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Dr. Brandon! The woman has just had major brain surgery! She’s had enough unpleasantness! But I’ll have you know, that, in the finger-sucking department, I am extremely satisfied!”

“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr is checking into a ritzy Vienna hotel.]
Hotel Clerk: Dr. Hmmfurr?
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: It’s close, yes!”

“Dr. Conrad discusses Dr. Hfuhruhurr’s murdered colleague.]
Dr. Conrad: Dr. Schlermie Beckerman, a brilliant brain surgeon.”

“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr is lecturing to an audience of doctors in Vienna.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people!
[The crowd murmurs and whispers in consternation. Dr. Hfuhruhurr speaks aside to Dr. Conrad.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: What are they saying?
Dr. Conrad: Zey are just saying “murmur, murmur, murmur”.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: You mean it’s just sort of a general “muuur-mur”?
Dr. Conrad: Yeah. Murmur!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Huh.
[Dr. Hfuhruhurr returns to his lecturing.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: You may murmur all you like…
The Crowd: [spoken loudly and distinctly] MURMUR! MURMUR! PSSS PSSS PSSSP!”

“[Dr. Necessiter introduces Dr. Hfuhruhurr to his collection of disembodied brains, stored in large apothecary jars.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Brains! I’ve never seen so many brains out of their heads before! I feel like a kid in a candy store.
[Dr. Hfuhruhurr reaches for a jar.]
Dr. Necessiter: DON’T TOUCH IT!!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Why?
Dr. Necessiter: They’re alive!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Alive! But there’s no wires or tubes or that, uh… that bzzzz thing! How are they kept alive?”

“Dr. Hfuhruhurr: The only time we doctors should accept death is when it’s caused by our own incompetence!
Dr. Necessiter: Nonsense! If the murder of twelve innocent people can help save one human life, it will have been worth it!”

“Dr. Necessiter: I must warn you, Doctor. What you’re about to see might strike you as the most incredible, awesome—
[The phone rings.]
Dr. Necessiter: Excuse me.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Incredible what? Awesome what? What am I going to see?
Dr. Necessiter: Hello, yes! [listens] I’ll be there immediately! Thank you.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: What was that “awesome” thing?
Dr. Necessiter: No, I must leave now. I have a new brain to pick. The Elevator Killer has struck again.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Well, what about Beckerman and– and “incredible”?
Dr. Necessiter: Uh, come for dinner tonight, and bring Mrs. Fuuhrrrr!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Hfuhruhurr!
Dr. Necessiter: Huhf-fuhr! Eight o’clock! You can let yourself out!”

“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr, in the middle of a marital spat, grabs an expensive vase to throw.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Our marriage lies broken on the floor, like the shards of glass on our honeymoon suite!
[He slams the vase to the ground, but it bounces back up into his hands.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Ahhh! Oh-ho! 19th-Century Indian rubber vase, eh?!”

“[After Michael departs, Dolores answers a phone call.]
Caller: Dr. H-furr-rurr-rurr-rurr, please?
Dolores: I’m afraid he’s not in. This is Mrs. Hfff-fffff…
Caller: I’m the attorney for Dr. H-fyur-rurr-rurr-rurr-rurr’s step-grandmother.”

“[Dr. Necessiter discusses his breakthrough with the not-quite-deceased Schlermie Beckerman.]
Dr. Necessiter: You knew a Schlermie Beckerman?
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: You mean you’ve got Schlermie in one of those jars, like so much marmalade?
Dr. Necessiter: No! Schlermie Beckerman isn’t in a jar! He’s walking and talking!”

“[In Dr. Necessiter’s lab, Dr. Hfuhruhurr discovers a brain that can communicate telepathically with him.]
Brain: Who are you?
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr.
Brain: Dr. Hfuhruhurr?
[Dr. Hfuhruhurr is startled by her correct pronunciation.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: My God!
Brain: What?
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: You’re the first… o–object that ever pronounced it right!
Brain: How else could you pronounce it? It’s H-F-U-H-R-U-H-U-R-R, i’n’t it?
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Yes! … Who are you?
Brain: Anne. Anne Uumellmahaye.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: [rapidly] U-U-M-E-L-L-M-A-H-A-Y-E? Uumellmahaye?
Brain: Yes!”

“[After Dolores finally consummates her marriage to Dr. Hfuhruhurr…]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: I never knew it could be like that! [exhales] So… so… professional!”

“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr is rowing with Anne’s enjarred brain, complete with sunhat and sunglasses, along an idyllic creek.]
Anne Uumellmahaye: I don’t think there’s a girl floating in any jar anywhere who’s as happy as I am! Oh, Michael, you do so much for me, and I do nothing for you!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Are you out of your head? [pauses] Sorry, I forgot.”

“[Dolores and Michael finally confront each other. No match for Dolores’ knife-wielding strength, Dr. Hfuhruhurr kicks her in the groin.]
Dolores: Uhh! My… balls!”

“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr tries to enlist Dr. Necessiter’s help to be with Anne.]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: I want you to put me in with Anne Uumellmahaye!
Dr. Necessiter: Anne Uumellma-who?
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Uumellmahaye!”

“[Dr. Necessiter discusses the not-so-successful possibility of transferring Anne into a human body, rather than a gorilla like Beckerman.]
Dr. Necessiter: In my recovery room are two subjects who do nothing but this: [clapping his hands like a seal] “Pfffffffft!” BUT I think I’ve solved the problem!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: What kind of life would that be? “This is my wife?” [clapping his hands like a seal] “Pfffffffft!” Ohhh, I know her! She’d hate that!”

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“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr, driving with the dead Dolores in the passenger seat, is pulled over by the Vienna police.]
Polizist: Sie sind zu schnell gefahren. Kann ich Ihre Führerschein sehen?
SUBTITLE: “You were speeding. May I see your license?”
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Huh?
Polizist: [more slowly] Sie sind zu schnell gefahren. Kann ich Ihre Führerschein sehen?
SUBTITLE: “You were speeding. May I see your license?”
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Oh, I’m sorry, Officer.
Polizist: Ah, you speak English! Goot!
[The policeman yells back to the police car.]
Polizist: Sie können mit sie Untertitels nicht machen!
SUBTITLE: “You can stop the subtitles now.”
[The policeman looks out toward the screen as the subtitles disappear.]
Polizist: Zat’s better! We have more room down zer now!
[The policeman returns to Dr. Hfuhruhurr’s car.]
Polizist: License?
[After receiving the doctor’s license, he reads the name.]
Polizist: Hffrrrr… Hfürrr…
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: [irritated] Yes?”

“Polizist: Hey! She’s not asleep! She’s dead!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: My God, you’re right! I’d better get her to a cemetery at once!”

“[In Dr. Necessiter’s lab, the doctors prepare to transfer Anne’s brain into Dolores’ body.]
Dr. Necessiter: Set the Theremin at 1945!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Theremin, 1945!
? NOTE: The first use of the Theremin, the device that produced eerie electronic warbles for many a science fiction B-movie, was in the 1945 film Lost Weekend.”

“[As the police try to stop the experiment…]
Inspector: You are playing God!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: SOMEBODY has to!”

“[Dr. Hfuhruhurr awakens from a coma, not knowing how the experiment turned out.]
Dr. Brandon: Your wife is here. She’s in the waiting room.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Whose brain does she have?
Dr. Brandon: Whose brain does she have?
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Does she talk? Or does she go, “Pthpthpthpthpthpthpthp”?
Dr. Brandon: Ah, no, no. She talks, Michael. [chuckles]
[Dr. Hfuhruhurr tries to get out of bed.]
Dr. Brandon: Uh-tut-tut! You’ve been in bed six weeks! You know you don’t have the strength.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: I’m strong enough. I want to see her.
Dr. Brandon: Nurse, uh, tell Mrs. Huffer that Dr. Huffer’s awake.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Hfuhruhurr.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Oh, it does, does it? Well, it’s not your job to diagnose.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
You thought, you thought. Just go. Three years of nursery school and you think you know it all. Well, you’re still wet behind the ears. It’s not a subdural hematoma. It’s *epidural*. Ha.”

“Dolores:
The Complete Poems of John Lillison, England’s greatest one-armed poet.”
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
He wrote ‘In Dillan’s Grove’ and ‘Pointy Birds.’ O pointy birds, o pointy pointy, anoint my head, anointy-nointy.”

“Dolores:
What are those assholes doing on the porch?”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Those aren’t assholes. It’s pronounced *azaleas*.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Get that cat outta here.”
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
What are they saying?”
Dr. Conrad:
They are just saying ‘murmur, murmur, murmur.'”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
You mean it’s just sort of a general murmur?”

“Dr. Conrad:
Yeah. Murmur.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Oh.”
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
You may *murmur* all you like.”

“Gladstone:
“I wanted to inform the Doctor of her passing.”

“Dolores Benedict:
Passing what?”
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
I’m making a citizen’s annulment. Ipso facto coitus interruptus.”
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
You. You’re the elevator killer. Merv Griffin.”

“Merv Griffin:
Yeah.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Why?”

“Merv Griffin:
I don’t know. I’ve always just loved to kill. I really enjoyed it. But then I got famous, and – it’s just too hard for me. And so many witnesses. I mean, *everybody* recognized me. I couldn’t even work anymore. I’d hear, “Who’s that lurking over there? Isn’t that Merv Griffin?” So I came to Europe to kill. And it’s really worked out very well for me.”

“Inspector:
You are playing God.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
*Somebody* has to.”

“Dolores Benedict:
I get so excited when you get angry. It makes me feel so much closer to the reading of the will.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
The only time we doctors should accept death is when it’s caused by our own incompetence.”

“Dr. Necessiter:
Nonsense. If the murder of twelve innocent people can help save one human life, it will have been worth it.”

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“Dr. Brandon:
Well, Dr. Beckerman was murdered in Europe – you know that.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Exactly. Not only is he dead, he’s six thousand miles away.”

“Dolores Benedict:
If you lay one finger on me, I’ll kill you.”
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
You kill me and I’ll see that you never work in this town again.”
Dolores Benedict:
Nobody’s going to keep me from working in this town.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
I can’t.”

“Fran:
Can’t what?”
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
I can’t inject you with window cleaner.”

“Fran:
I don’t mind. Hey, what does it do anyway?”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
It causes your brain to die last.”

“Fran:
I don’t mind.”

“Dolores Benedict:
“I’ll get you for this, you n*gger kike wop.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
I don’t know if I was interested so much in the science as I was in the slime that goes along with it. Snakes and frogs. When I saw how slimy the human brain was, I knew that’s what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Into the mud, scum queen.”

“Dr. Necessiter’s butler:
Can I get you anything more, doctor? I’m about to retire.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Really? You seem so young.”

“Butler:
You and your wife are expected for dinner.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
My wife won’t be coming.”

“Butler:
Oh, I trust she is not ill?”
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
She’s not ill, she’s a cheap, vulgar slut.”
Butler:
Ja, I have heard this.”

“Dr. Necessiter:
As you know, my research has advanced to a point where I can put her mind into the body of a gorilla.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
I couldn’t f*** a gorilla.”
Anne Uumellmahaye:
I don’t think there’s a girl floating in a jar anywhere who’s as happy as I am.”

“Realtor:
Is that her?”
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
“No, its just a statue of her.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Would you read that last bit back to me? I’m afraid it might make me sound pompous to your readers.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
“So many brains. I feel like a kid in a candy store.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
I could never f*** a Gorilla.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Damn your drunk tests are hard.”

“Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
That was the best sexual experience I have ever had – without actually having sex.”

“Factual error: Part of the movie takes place in Vienna, Austria. Although the number plates of the cars are like those in Austria at that time, neither the road markings nor the street car which can be seen when both Steve Martin and Kathleen Turner are “climbing” outside their hotel look like those in Vienna.”

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