100+ Superbad Quotes that tells us about Teenage Things

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Superbad best quotes

Superbad Quotes that. There are so many Superbad quotes that can help you when you are tired of being in the same old rut, and all you need is a little push, a little inspiration, a smile on the face, change of mood, bring you out of the banality of life, make you laugh a little, or may even make you cry a bit, and these Superbad quotes exists just do that.

Directed by Greg Mottola is the American teen comedy film which is also a coming of age story produced by Judd Apatow. Johan Hill and Michael Cera portray Seth and Evan in the film. Superbad was written by Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen and is moderately based on the experience of these two writers in their 12th Grade during the 1990s in Vancouver. They were 13 years old when the script was in development. The main characters in the film are names the same as the writers.

The film is about two high school boys, Seth and Evan who are going to be graduated and wants to party and lose their virginity. Both of them are close friends from childhood. They both plans to hit the party of Jules, who is the crush of Seth. Fogell is a friend of both who plans to get a fake ID for buying alcohols. But things take a funny turn and Seth, Evan and Fogell go on different situations while crossing paths with police officers Slater and Michael. In which the three get along and do inappropriate things. Evan and Seth end up in another party and mess things up there. After an interesting turn of events, they finally make it to the party of Jules. Seth and Evan both get drunk and tries to have sex with their dream girls Jules and Becca. But fails to do so due to interesting twists, later joined together they go on shopping. The film ends with a good and funny twist.

Initially, it was Rogen who was to portray the character Seth, but due to physical appearance and age, Hill was selected for portraying Seth. Fortunately, Rogen portrayed a character named Michaels, who is an irresponsible officer. Bill Hader who was the former Saturday Night Live star was portrayed as Officer Slater who sits opposite to Michaels.

The film received good reviews and praises from critics for the chemistry between the two main characters along with the dialogues. It grossed over 169 million US Dollars proving to be financially successful, as the films total budget was 20 million US Dollars.

We have dug up these Superbad quotes from the depths of the internet and brought together best of these sayings in a single article. This post is probably the biggest database of Superbad Sayings in a single place. These famous Superbad quotes have the power to change your life by giving a novel outlook about the way you observe different aspects of your life. Hence, these popular Superbad quotes should be read with caution and proper understanding of the context. Here are tons of Superbad quotes that will open a treasure chest of Wisdom and experiences: –

“Something like 8% of kids do it, but whatever.”

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“One name, who are you, Seal?”

“So, you guys on MySpace?”

“I am McLovin!”

“Enjoy your remaining years!”

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“F*ck me, right?” — Seth

“You look like Aladdin.” — Evan

“I will!” — Seth

“It’s in!” — Fogell

“Old enough… to party.” — Fogell

“Chicka, chicka-yeah, fake I.D.” — Fogell

“People don’t forget.” — Seth

“Uh, it’s 10:33.” — Fogell

“It’s you, McMuffin.” — Homeless guy

“Prepare to be f*cked by the long dick of the law.” — Officer Michaels

“You used my leg as a tampon!” — Seth

“We should be guiding your cock, not blocking it.” — Officer Michaels

“I assume you all have guns and crack.” — Officer Michaels

“Oh no, it’s the cops.” — Officer Slater

“No one’s gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since ‘Nam.” — Seth

“So I gotta sit here and eat my dessert alone like I’m F*cking Steven Glansberg.” — Seth

“When am I going to need to cook tiramisu? Am I going to be a chef?”

“By the time college rolls around, I’ll be like the Iron Chef of Pounding Vag!”

“I kinda had this problem, something like 8% of kids do it, but whatever. For some reason, I don’t know why, I would just kind of sit around all day… and draw pictures of dicks.”

“Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law!”

“That’s the coolest fucking story I’ve ever heard in my entire life! That’s insane. Is it… Can I hear it again, do you have time?”

“What? You’re just gonna let me sit here and eat dessert alone like I’m Steven fucking Glandsberg?”

“Pretend he’s your little sistah!”

“They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles… You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.”

“Odd crime for a Jew to commit, they’re pretty docile.”

“I’m gonna be totally honest with you. I have a warrant out for a totally nonviolent crime. Okay? There. Mercy Street, guys.”

“My older brother always says like the nastiest shit. He used to call me ‘hymen’ until I was 12.”

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“He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.”

“All right, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2, it doesn’t even have a first name, it just says McLovin!”

“That’s the coolest f**king story I’ve ever heard in my entire life! That’s insane. Is it…Can I hear it again? Do you have time?”

“I don’t wanna sit here alone, cooking… – no offense – and I just think that I don’t ever need to cook tiramisu. When am I gonna need to cook tiramisu? Am I gonna be a chef? No!”

“McLovin’s our friend! We should be guiding… not blocking…”

“So, we’ve got an African Jew wearing a hoodie…”

“I heard she got breast reduction surgery.”

“What? That’s like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.”

“She had back problems, man.”

“It doesn’t even have a first name – it just says McLovin!”

“Officer Slater: Pussies on the pavement fellas, come on!”

“Jules: What the fuck!”

“Fogell: What’s it like having guns?
Officer Michaels: It is awesome, Mclovin, it’s mind-boggling. I haven’t had for long, only a few months, but it’s like having two cocks. If one of your cocks could kill a man.”

“Seth: I am truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby.
Evan: Yeah, well, at least you got to suck on your dad’s dick.”

“Seth: [imitating Becca] Oh Evan, thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy. I never would’ve been able to handle your four inch dick inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube.”

“Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
Seth: What? That’s like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.
Evan: She had back problems, man.”

“Officer Slater: McLovin? Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with your penis?”

“Fogell: You still haven’t told him that we’re rooming together?
Evan: Fogell, shut the fuck up. And take off that vest. You look like Aladdin.”

“Seth: No one’s gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since Nam!”

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“Seth: Momma’s making a pubic salad, and she wants some Seth’s own dressing
Seth: Momma’s making a pubic salad, and she wants some Seth’s own dressing.”

“Evan: These Eyes…”

“Officer Michaels: I assume you all have guns and crack
Officer Michaels: I assume you all have guns and crack.”

“Fogell: Hey!
Seth: Don’t tell Fogell about the party, man…
Fogell: Gangstaaaaaaaaaaasss… what’s up guys?”

“Seth: Don’t be such a vagine man I gotta get a Red Bull before class
Seth: Don’t be such a vagine man I gotta get a Red Bull before class.”

“Seth: You know when a girl’s like “Oh God, I got so shitfaced last night. I shouldn’t have fucked that guy!” We can be that mistake!
Seth: You know when a girl’s like ‘Oh God, I got so shitfaced last night. I shouldn’t have fucked that guy!’ We can be that mistake!”

“Party Teen: Becca’s been looking for you. She said something about blowing you.
Evan: Isn’t she drunk? Isn’t that illegal if she’s drunk?
Party Teen: Not if you’re drunk too.”

“Fogell: Chicka-chicka-yeah, fake ID, I’m tight…”

“Seth: Enjoy your remaining years!
Old Lady: I will. Enjoy fucking Jules!
Seth: I WILL!”

“Seth: She wants my dick. She wants my dick in or around her mouth!”

“Fogell: I am McLovin.”

“Seth: He (Fogell) doesn’t even have a first name! It just says Mclovin!
Seth: He [Fogell] doesn’t even have a first name! It just says Mclovin!
Evan: One name? One name? Who are you, Seal?”

“Seth: Have you ever looked into his eyes.Its like the first time I heard The Beatles.
Seth: Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.”

“Liquor Store Clerk: Do you look live an African Jew??
Liquor Store Clerk: Do you look like an African Jew?”

“Seth: I used to sit around all day, drawing pictures of dicks.
Evan: A dick, like a man dick?”

“Seth: I’ll be like the iron chef of pounding vag!
Evan: Can you just get out of here and we’ll talk about this later?
Greg the Soccer Player: What the fuck Evan! We’re down two points!
Evan: Fuckin calm down Greg it’s soccer. It’s soccer.
Greg the Soccer Player: Fuck you man!
Seth: Hey Greg, why don’t you go piss your pants again?
Greg the Soccer Player: That was like 8 years ago, asshole!
Seth: People don’t forget!”

“Seth: You dropped your purse, ma’am. Would you like me to help you with your groceries?
Old Lady: Well that would be lovely young man. Would you like me to buy you alcohol?
Seth: That would be lovely!
Seth: Enjoy your remaining years!
Old Lady: I will! Enjoy fucking Jules!
Seth: I WILL!”

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“Officer Michaels: Prepared to be fucked by the long dick of the law!”

“Evan: I mean, it’s up to you Fogell. This guy’s gonna think, “Oh, here’s another kid with a fake I.D., or here’s McLovin, the 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor.” Okay, so what’s it gonna be?
Evan: I mean, it’s up to you Fogell. This guy’s gonna think, ‘Oh, here’s another kid with a fake I.D., or here’s McLovin, the 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor.’ Okay, so what’s it gonna be?
Fogell: I am McLovin’.
Seth: No, you’re not. No one’s McLovin’. McLovin’s never existed, because that’s a made-up, dumb, fucking fairytale name, you fuck!”

“Fogell: You still haven’t told him we’re moving in together?
Evan: Fogell shut the fuck up.”

“Seth: She wants my dick in and around her mouth!
Seth: She wants my dick in or around her mouth!”

“Seth: You don’t want her to think you suck dick at fucking pussy.
Seth: You don’t want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy.”

“Jules: You scratch our backs, we’ll scratch yours.
Seth: Well the funny thing is, my back is actually located on my cock.
Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it’s located on my cock.”

“Seth: No one’s gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since ‘Nam!
Seth: Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since ‘nam!”

“Seth: Enjoy your remaining years!
Old Lady: I will! Enjoy fucking Jules!
Seth: I WILL!”

“Fogell: I am McLovin!”

“Seth: What the hell is that?
Fogell: It’s a fucking vest,dumbass. I’m trying to look older.
Fogell: It’s a fucking vest, dumbass. I’m trying to look older.
Seth: You look like Pinocchio.”

“Officer Slater: I arrested a man-lady who was legally named Phuck.”

“Evan: You changed your name to McLovin?
Seth: It doesn’t have a first name, it just says McLovin!
Seth: It doesn’t have a first name, it just says McLovin!
Evan: The guys either going think ‘here’s another guy with a fake ID’, or here’s McLovin, 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor.
Fogell: I am McLovin.”

“Seth: Have you ever heard a girl say: ‘Oh i was so drunk i shouldn’t have fucked with him’? We can be that mistake!
Seth: You know when you hear girls say ‘Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn’t have fucked that guy?’ We could be that mistake!”

“Evan: I’d give my middle nut to start dating Becca.”

“Fogell: I got a boner!”

“Seth:
What, you think Becca’s going to be psyched that you brought a bottle of lube? “Oh, Evan! Thank you so much for bringing that lube for my pussy! I could never handle your f***ing four-inch dick inside my pussy without your gigantic bottle of LUBE!” These girls are 18 years old. They aren’t dried up old ladies, man. They’re good to go!”

“Seth:
Are you insane?! Look at Jules’s dating record, she dated Dan Remmeck who’s had a six pack since like kindergarten. Jason Stone who looks like f***ing Zack Morris, and Matt Muer he’s the sweetest guy! Have you ever stared into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.”

“Seth:
Do you have any normal sized clothes or do you only shop at the Baby Gap?”

“Seth:
What, so I got to sit here and eat dessert alone like I’m f***ing Steven Glansberg?”

“Evan:
Yeah well. At least you got to suck on your dad’s dick.”

“Evan:
I mean, just imagine if girls weren’t weirded out by our boners and just like, wanted to see them. I mean, that’s the world I one day want to live in.”

“Evan:
Yeah. That’s perfect. Now you owe me six bucks, because I’m not going to get it, and it exploded.”

“Evan:
What, did you want me to dive into his spit?”

“Becca:
I am going to give you the best blow J ever. With my mouth.”

“Officer Michaels:
[Breaking up a party] I assume you all have guns and crack… Okay, everyone! Prepare to be f***ed by the long dick of the law!”

“Evan:
Look at those nipples”

“Seth:
They’re like little baby toes.”

“Evan:
It’s just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know… and like, I have to hide every erection I get. Just imagine if girls weren’t weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That’s the world I one day want to live in.”

“Seth:
You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it AND it feels awesome. I almost blew a load into my bellybutton.”

“Evan:
[talking about porn sites] You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be any number of things, right? Perfect Ten? I mean, it could be a bowling site.”

“Seth:
Yeah, but it doesn’t actually show dick going IN which is a huge concern.”

“Evan:
Right, I didn’t realize that.”

“Seth:
Besides, have you ever seen a vagina by itself?”

“Evan:
No.”

“Seth:
[shakes his head] Not for me.”

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