80+ Suicide Jokes That You Can Think and Laugh!

0
358
funny suicide jokes

What is so special about jokes? Is it the freshness that it brings or the perils of laughter that it sets in or the very fact that it eases out our stress in no time? Well, the answer is everything? Jokes are a great escape strategy from a complex world we live. Especially these new age jokes are even more hilarious enough to make you laugh for days together!

Keeping in view of the buzz caused by Suicide Jokes, we have compiled 80+ Suicide Jokes That You Can You think and Laugh at any time! What’s more they even tickle your funny bones for miles together!

Here is your gateway for 80+ Suicide Jokes

Online image sharing networks have taken a sullen turn, yet some psychological wellness specialists accept this could profit confined youngsters. In an ongoing post to the well-known image sharing stage 9gag, two next to each other storybook outlines delineate a young lady watching snowflakes fall outside her window.

The left board is titled “kids at that point”: In an idea bubble, the young lady thoughtfully muses, “I sure expectation they drop school for this day off.” right board is “kids now.” The young lady takes a gander at the snow outside and thinks, “I trust a vehicle loses footing on the ice and slams into me and I screwing kick the bucket tomorrow.”

This is a joke—and obviously an entirely relatable one for its objective statistic, a huge number of Generation Y and Z computerized locals for whom images are a native language. An easygoing look on 9gag, which gets 3.5 billion site visits a month, will turn up many images day by day about self-damage or needing to bite the dust, and youngsters are sharing, retweeting, and reblogging comparable substance over the web based life scene.

You’ll discover storybook representations doctored to show youngsters longing for horrible passing, SpongeBob euphorically thrashing to his fate during a bank stickup, and Obama going to lose himself a scaffold.

From the start become flushed, these jokes couldn’t be in more unfortunate taste. The World Health Organization positions suicide as the subsequent driving reason for death for youth around the world. In the United States, information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicated stunning 70 and 77 percent increments in suicide paces of white and dark teenagers.

Accordingly, general wellbeing authorities and tech monsters the same have been getting serious about possibly perilous informing on self-hurt. Last Friday, Instagram revealed another strategy forbidding “realistic” portrayals of self-damage or suicide.

So, the next time if you come across such situation, just read these 80+ Suicide Jokes and feel the difference!

what’s the difference between a feminist and suicide vest
a least one does something when it is triggered

best suicide jokes

RELATED: 100+ Cringy Jokes That Will Make You Fall In Love with Your Dad

What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.

famous suicide jokes

Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He saw the gas bill.

funny suicide jokes

Suicide is illegal because it’s a crime to destroy government property.

popular suicide jokes

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.

suicide jokes

RELATED: 70+ D and D Jokes That Are So Cute!

The Irish Outlaw a year ago
I believe “Self-Babtism” is a nice way of saying “Failed Suicide Attempt”

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide, the librarian responds with ”f… off you won’t bring it back!”

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here

suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work…
He’s a suicide bomber.

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide,” and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself 😉

What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.

Who’s the fastest reader
Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories

Roses are red, I dont know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.

Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.”
Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.”
Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.”
Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…”
Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline

How did a blonde commit suicide
She jumped from the bas….t window

What do you do when life gives you lemons Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist.??????

These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.

I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder

I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again I almost killed myself

What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.

There are going so many things through my head. Sadly none of it is a 9mm.

Suicide gives your security for the future. Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day and you can choose to postpone it.

If a person shoot’s a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful or is it murder?

Suicidal people are ground breaking

RELATED: 80+ Church Jokes That Are So Funny To Read

What do you get when you have a annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.
After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.
After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata

Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins… I just go to the local primary school

Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide? Dave: No. Jason: Well, he hit his first target.

Murder is the same as suicide except the other person is doing it for you

What does Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common? Tying

I once heard my dad shout I’m going to be like frozen and let it go then I heard a gunshot

I wanted to solve Teen Suicide, so I shot up a Middle School.

A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, “What’s the best book on committing suicide?” The librarian said, “Oh f… off…you won’t bring it back anyway.”

(A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing)
Man: Ah… suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump? Lady: Yep. I hate this world. Man: Well, if your gonna die, can we have sex before you jump? Lady: Hell no! You creep! Man: Ok, fine. I guess I’ll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore…

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None you are both dead on the inside.

Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide

If you’re gonna razor yourself you might as well have shaving cream.

A friend asked me, “Where are you going?”
I answered, “6 feet underground.”

Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.

I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note… it’s a start…

i like when people say they hate me because we have something in common <3

Go commit neck rope

What’s the best cure for aging? Suicide.

Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
to see who’s hanging around.

What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor

Random guy: Go suck a D*ck! Me: Nah, i rather suck a 9mm.

RELATED: 70+ Cheese Jokes That Are So Touching!

Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can’t. It’s also In a way kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wished you could F but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can’t or you just can’t…

what do you call a chicken who crossed the road…suicidal

look in the mirror there’s a joke for you

When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes.
But joke time…
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life… it’s not you … it’s me!!!

‘’ What place can you always find suicidal cows at? ‘’
“Mc Donald’s.”

what do you get when you mix up a group of emos??
Suicide squad

IDK if this is a joke or a question but If killing yourself send you to hell where does siting in the waiting room get you?

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “F… off, you won’t bring it back.”

Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad??
To drown herself

Why do emo people want to be called scene now, the only thing I’ve scene from them is there suicide rate climbing

These gags are killing me !

I’m a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.

Go Kermit toaster bath

My mom ask stop making joke about suicide I answer- don’t worry …I stop soon

I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are.

All you need is a Razor Blade in life.

why did the chicken cross the road… to get to the other side

I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi’s concerts… I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.

Me: Hey dad, I’m in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal…
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I’m dad!

To all you who can’t understand using jokes as coping mechanism… you know what i will ask of you:)

My dad told me i’m a failure… I failed a math’s test. Good thing theres a pole outside my house.

What did the suicidal leperchaun say Irish i was dead

Friend: Why don’t you cut your hair? Me: Dunno, but i’ll probably cut my wrists first

if i hung myself from a cliff would people call me a cliffhanger?

This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian says f*** no you won’t return it

Don’t bother; just try to live in England.

On the lines of “I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous”,
I’m dying to live forever !

I talked to a future suicide bomber, I told him, “ISIS ain’t got Sh** on me because I Planted a bomb and lived.”

When I grow up I wanna be like lil peep…
Dead

friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys

Go commit Thanos finger snap.

why did the chicken want to cross the road because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car…

i got a lot running through my head right now i wish at least one was a 12 gauge round

A random guy yelled at me, “Hey, sl*t!” I walked towards him. “I prefer slit.” I said. “Why?” He asked. “You see this wrists?” I spat at him.

RELATED: 70+ Best Yo Mama Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

how were tire swings made a tire said goodbye world and hung himself

A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied “Oh f… off, you wont bring it back!”

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

Why did my wife leave me?
I wish I knew.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Too get ran over by a truck

where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.