Want to crack a joke that is so simple yet easy to remember? Worry not! Here we have some great 130+ Quick Jokes for the Busy Bee in You! Not alone that, these quick jokes will also make you snicker to such a great extent that you will not be without thinking about these Quick Jokes no matter where you are?
Here we go on this collection!
On the off chance that we needed to pick a most loved kind of joke it’d likely be interesting snappy jokes. Possibly it’s simply down to our absence of tolerance (or the advanced disquietude of needing everything now), except for us you can’t beat a cunning yet brisk short joke.
Anyway, look at our choices underneath and see what you think. Furthermore, recall that we distribute another joke each day, so make certain to return routinely for all the most recent chuckles.
My companion Jay as of late had twin young ladies, and needed to name them after him.
So I proposed Kaye and Elle.
SHROUDED IN LEAVES
What do you consider a vehicle that is shrouded in leaves?
I got gas today for $1.39.
Shockingly, it was at Taco Bell.
“Sir, you have a bladder contamination.”
“Pee inconvenience, sir.”
A man strolled into a home improvement shop, grabbed a jar of fly shower and asked the aide, “Is this useful for wasps?”
He stated, “No, it murders them.”
NEW GYM MACHINE
I went to the rec centre and there’s another machine. I utilized it for an hour and wound up feeling wiped out.
It’s great however, it does everything.
Unit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers …
I can hardly imagine how even following 15 years of the show finishing, individuals are as yet making “Companions” references.
Nobody disclosed to me life was going to be like this.
My geeky companion just got a Ph.D. on the historical backdrop of palindromes.
Presently we call him Dr. Unbalanced.
I asked Siri for what reason I was as yet single.
She turned on the front camera.
See, why we said Quick Jokes are our most favourite jokes? You can also read them and spread the vibe amongst everybody!
How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.
“Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”
“Toughest job I ever had? Selling doors, door-to-door.”
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
RELATED: 70+ Lesbian Jokes You Can Relate To
“I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.”
As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field. But hay – it’s in my jeans.
“The best time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.”
“Years ago I used to supply Filofaxes for the mafia. I was involved in very organised crime.”
“I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper – dicing with death.”
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
“I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.”
I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
“I saw this bloke chatting-up a cheetah. I thought: ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’”
“I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.”
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
“This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’”
“This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me.’”
“Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note, it said ‘Parking Fine.’”
I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. No pun in 10 did.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
I’ve decided to sell my Hoover – it was just collecting dust.
“I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.”
How does NASA organise a party? They planet.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
“My New Year’s resolution is to get in shape. I choose round.”
“My wife – it’s difficult to say what she does. She sells seashells on the seashore.”
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
“I told the Inland Revenue I don’t owe them a penny. I live by the seaside.”
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
“I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.
A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.
“Looking at my face is like reading in the car. It’s all right for 10 minutes, then you start to feel sick.”
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said “Thanks!” I said “Don’t mention it.”
“I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.”
Why do we tell actors to ‘break a leg?’ Because every play has a cast.
“A cement mixer collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.”
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
“I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, ‘that’s Abba-riginal.’”
“My grandfather invented the cold air balloon. It never really took off.”
“Recently I went on a ballooning holiday – I put on four stone!”
I hate Russian dolls… so full of themselves!
“Two monkeys were getting into the bath. One said: ‘Oo, oo, aah.’ The other replied:‘Put some cold in then.”
My friend says to me: “What rhymes with orange?” I said: “No it doesn’t!”
“You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee.”
“Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?”
“The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job. Especially if you’ve got hay fever.”
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “We don’t serve your type!” shouts the barman.
“Uncle Ben has died. No more Mr Rice Guy.”
“My mother made us eat all sorts of vitamins and supplements. One day I nearly choked on part of The Sunday Times.” – Milton Jones
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.
I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
“I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.”
Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”
I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.
My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said “40”.
Hear about the new restaurant called ‘Karma’? There’s no menu, you only get what you deserve.
“Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.”
I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.
“My next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes. He’s a catholic converter.”
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going there.
What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.
“I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said ‘Analogue?’ I said ‘No, just a watch.’”
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed a little space.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? “Aye matey.”
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.
Never trust atoms. They make up everything.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, “Weeoouhh.” The next whale says, “Shut up, Steve. You’re drunk.”
Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.
What’s E.T. short for? He’s only got little legs.
Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He’s never gonna give you Up.
My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from London Zoo.
I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.
It takes a lot of balls to golf like me.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeño business!
“Exit signs? They’re on the way out!”
There’s no “I” in Denial.
Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally.
Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.
A man tells his doctor, “Help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I’m not following you.”
Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack? The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.
I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? Then it hit me.
“Hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not…”
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? “Thanks! I’ll never part with it!”
I didn’t know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle!
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
What’s the last thing that goes thru a bug’s mind as he hits the windshield? His butt.
Knock knock- who’s there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the tub I’m dwounding!
The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
What goes “ha ha thump”? A man laughing his head off.
What did the grape say when he was pinched? Nothing, he gave a little wine.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
Why are pirates so mean? I don’t know, they just arrrrrrrrr!
Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner.
Have you heard about the cannibal that passed his brother in the forest?
Who’s there?” … “Control freak. Okay now you say, ‘Control freak who?”
What do you call cheese that’s not yours? It’s nacho cheese.
What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armor? A knight light.
Have you heard about corduroy pillows?! They’re making headlines!
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba-dum Tish!
There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley, one was assaulted.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun… A roamin’ Catholic.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
Why did the orange stop? Because, it ran outta juice.
What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOO!
Why did the storm trooper buy an iphone? He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.
Knock knock…who’s there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? Ooooo gross! (now do you get the earlier one?)
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
Why did the stop light turn red??? You would too if you had to change in the middle if the street!
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer, the bartender says sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.
What do you do with a dead chemist …. You Barium.
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull? – Lipstick!
A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables…the bartender says, buddy, I’ll serve you as long as you don’t start anything.