Most amusing Stupid Jokes that are so imbecilic, will make you pee your pants. Well, it was a stunt question, and you truly don’t have to answer since we are not mistaken, we as a whole like inept jokes, entertaining statements, and moronic jokes.
Also, as much as we can imagine hearing these diverting jokes, we want to impart them to our loved ones all the time through informal communities, Keeping that in mind we have collected 50+ Programming Jokes That Will Make You Laugh!
These 50+ Programming Jokes goes on prove that regardless of how idiotic and moronic these jokes sound, we can never get enough of them. Some of them are essentially superior to other people, while some are more regrettable than anything you may have heard in your life. Just enjoy these 50+ Programming Jokes and spread the vibe!
Two bytes meet. The main byte asks, “Would you say you are sick?”
The subsequent byte answers, “No, simply feeling somewhat off.”
Eight bytes stroll into a bar. The bartender asks, “Would I be able to make you anything?”
Better believe it,” answer the bytes. “Make us a twofold.”
- How did the software engineer pass on in the shower?
- He read the cleanser bottle directions: Lather. Flush. Rehash.
What number of developers does it take to change a light?
None – It’s an equipment issue
For what reason do software engineers consistently stir up Halloween and Christmas?
Since Oct 31 equivalents Dec 25.
There are just 10 sorts of individuals in this world: the individuals who know double and the individuals who don’t.
A developer strolls to the butcher shop and purchases a kilo of meat. After an hour he returns upset that the butcher scammed him by 24 grams.
Writing computer programs is 10% science, 20% resourcefulness, and 70% getting the inventiveness to work with the science.
Writing computer programs resembles sex:
One mix-up and you need to help it for an amazing remainder.
There are three sorts of untruths: Lies, condemned falsehoods, and benchmarks.
Now you know why these 50+ Programming Jokes Will Make You Laugh! Spread the joy and share the vibe with everyone!
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don’t.
How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Zero. That’s a hardware issue.
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? – Because they don’t C#.
why did the robot cross the road?
because he was programmed by the chicken!
One day I came home from school and said to my dad ‘I got expelled from school today’ he said ’ how’ I said I threw my book at the teacher’ he asked why’ I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can’t hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. ’
A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: “you mathematicians don’t know your limits.”
A programmer and his wife.
She says, “We’re out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they’ve got eggs, get six.”
After a while, he’s back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, “Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?”
He replies, “They had eggs.”
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? – None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
What’s the same about “Make a Wish Program” and “Dark Jokes”?
They never get old.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? – None, that’s a hardware problem.
Yo mama so FAT, she can’t handle files bigger than 4 GB.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, “Can I join you?”
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, “We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed.”
The engineer said, “I think I’ve got a few spanners in the back. I’ll take a look and see if I can work out what’s wrong.”
The programmer said, “Why don’t we get going again and see if it’s reproducible?”
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? – Because Oct 31 == Dec 25
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: “Is it a boy or a girl?” The programmer replies, “Yes.”
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn’t go well, because they couldn’t connect.
What do inner city schools and database have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
How did the Java programmer’s son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
yo mama so stupid, that she thought NASA is a GAMING PROGRAM!!!
RELATED: 90+ Egg Jokes That Are So Touching!
There’s 10 kind of people in the world. – Those who know binary and those who don’t.
I just watched a program about beavers. it was the worst dam program I’ve ever seen.
Why does C get all the girls, and Java gets none?
Because C doesn’t treat them as objects.
Two programmers are talking about their social life, and one says:
The only date I get is the Java Update.
Two students, a boy and a girl, are sitting in a class when the boy tries to look under the girl’s shirt.
Girl: Hey! What are you doing?
Boy: Members from the same class can access private area!
A guy is chain-smoking outside when an old lady sees him and says:
You shouldn’t smoke, those things will kill you. Look at the warning on the box!
The guy continues puffing and says:
I don’t care. I am a Java Programmer. We don’t care about warnings, only about errors.
When you ask your partner what’s wrong and they say everything is all right and they mean it.
I had a problem. I used Java. Now, I have a ProblemFactory.
Java try-catch block explained.
Java and C are telling jokes to each other. C writes something on the blackboard, and asks Java:
Do you get the reference?
A C++ walks into a bar and sees a C. C is drunk, falling on the floor, spitting and swearing.
How classless! – says C++.
What is an object-oriented way to become wealthy?
C programmers never die. They are just <cast> into VOID.
What is a programmer?
An organism that turns caffeine and fast food into software.
A guy meets a girl who wants to be a web developer. Falls in love instantly. He comes to her place to see a house full of pet spiders.
An optimist says: “The glass is half-full”
A pessimist says: “The glass is half empty”.
A programmer says: “The glass is twice as large as necessary!”
A programmer talks with a philanthropist:
If you want to make the world a better place, why don’t you get the original source code?
Why did the programmer quit his job?
He never got arrays.
Programmers like to solve problems.
When they run out of problems.
They create new problems!
A programmer buys a kilo of bananas in the market. He returns angry after a while and says:
There are 24 grams off!
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
A programmer ends up in hell.
What did I do? I was a kind and honest person!
You disabled right-clicks on your web-pages – the devil responds.
A programmer sees “While there’s hope, there’s life” written on the wall. He decides to edit it and writes: “While there’s code, there’s bug”.
What is an algorithm?
A word programmers use when they don’t want to explain what they did.
How does machine learning work?
Q: What is 11 times 11?
A: It’s 65.
Q: Not at all. It’s 121.
A: It’s 121.
What is hardware?
A part of your computer that you can kick.
Two bytes meet, and one says:
Wow, you don’t look well. Are you ill?
The other responds:
Nah, I’m just feeling a bit off.
A computer is mightier than the pen, sword, and usually the programmer.
A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables, and asks – Can I join you?
Why are computer like men?
To get them going, you first have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
They should help you solve a problem, but usually, they are the cause of the problem.
Once you decide to commit to one, you realize you could’ve gotten a better model if you waited a bit.
Java, Phyton, C++, and ANSI hold a meeting.
Java: OK, people. How to make women more interested in us?
C++: Maybe more exceptions?
Phyton: We should define our methods?
ANSI-C: Maybe stop treating them as objects?