100+ Political Jokes That Are So Funny To Read

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famous political jokes

There are two types of people. One who despises Politics, while the another loves Politics. So, what is the one common thing that unites these people? Political Jokes is the answer. So, the question is what is so special about these Political Jokes? Let us answer that for you in our special edition of 100+ Political Jokes That Are So Funny To Read.

Ready to read about these collections? Here we go!

The majority of our Politicians are playing KBC (Kaun Banega Crorepati) in a turn around way… They make crores and crores first and afterward answer the inquiries later.

Ought to Rahul Gandhi quit driving the Congress?

India: Yes

Congress: Yes

BJP: No! Never

 

BJP: We need Congress Mukt Bharat!

Individuals: Yay! Be that as it may, how?

BJP: Sab Congress MPs Ko Hum Apni Party Mein Include Kar Lenge!

Individuals: What a thought sir jee…

 

New Caution in Markets:

Ventures are liable to Modi dangers please watch his talks cautiously !

 

Rahul in a convention in Uttar Pradesh:

ISRO Se Mera Bachpan Ka Rishta Hai. Punch Bhi School Jata Tha Teacher Bolti Thi…

“Uss Row Mein Nahin, ISRO Mein Baitho”!

 

Lalu Opened a Facebook Account,

Posted his photos, wrote his Age, Profession, Job

 

Address, Date of birth, Profile pics, Places Checked In, Favourite Dishes and so forth.

In any case, he was completely confounded what to compose On “Wall “…… After profound thought, he composed: “Yahaan Susu Karna Mana hain”…………

 

Legislators on the moon:

Q: What do you call 50 Politicians who land on the moon once in a shot?

A: Problem…

So, now you know why we need Political Jokes and also why Political Jokes makes this nation or any country going despite the situation!

How do you call a wizard that works with political marketing?
Propagandalf.

best political jokes

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How many political idealists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, political idealists can’t change anything.

famous political jokes

Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

funny political jokes

what’s a political campaign we can all get behind?
gay rights

political jokes

So Donald Trump walks into a bar… and lowers it.

popular political jokes

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I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.

On a scale of North Korea to America, how free are you tonight?

Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.

A liberal is just a conservative that hasn’t been mugged yet.

I think we should get rid of democracy. All in favor raise your hand.

I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

They should build the wall with Hillary’s emails because nobody can get over them.

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.

What’s the difference between baseball and politics? In baseball you’re out if you’re caught stealing.

The consensus after the election is that 100% of Americans think 50% of Americans have lost their minds.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.

The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I wonder if he could do that for Congress.

Republicans & Democrats are like divorced parents who care more about getting the kids to hate the other one than they are their well-being.

My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it’s only good in theory.

Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job.

I am the only candidate for president willing to win the feral hog vote, even if it amounts to just 30-50.

What do you call a Russian procrastinator? Putinoff.

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I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.

Trump should not have said “shit-hole countries”. The correct term is “turd-world countries”.

The media’s relationship with Hillary is just like Bill’s relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they’ll move on to the next person any chance they get.

A woman’s age is harder to get than the President’s phone number.

I once meet an honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country. Then I woke up.

The fish tube is a government ploy to distract us from the very suspicious circumstances surrounding Jeffrey Epstein’s death stay woke people.

Is yur name Atilla cuz you can be my hun anytime!

A liberal is a conservative who’s been arrested. A conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged.

If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America.

If you are not part of the solution, you’re probably running for President

You must be from Pearl Harbor, ’cause baby, you’re the bomb.

I got into an argument with a mime once, then I had to silence him.

People who want to share their religious or political views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.

Political parties are like toilet paper. Whichever side you select, you end up getting poop!

Why do Republicans spend so much money on bathroom fixtures? They really love the Grand Old Potty!

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.

We need to show compassion for the mentally ill without letting them run for President.

Without going to jail, you cannot be a big politician.

Are you Greek (If No) are you sure cause you look like a goddess to me?

“Because it would be hilarious,” is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.

I went to a seafood diner last night. I pulled a mussell.

What did Donald Trump say to Dora The Explorer while playing Uno? “Ok, you tortilla stop jumping and stealing all the green cards.”

A birth certificate is an apology from the government that you are now indentured and a social security number that you are no longer a sovereign.

Trump invited Putin to Washington because it’s customary to take a tour of your new home before you move in.

Trump won’t get re-elected if we just stop fixing our grandparents’ WiFi.
One liner tags: IT, motivational, political, retirem
If our president decides to get rid of all the retarded people in the U.S., you will be the first one to go!

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

There was an outbreak of food poisoning among the world leaders at the recent summit. During the food preparation, they feared what the Russians Putin May Merkel Trump.

The national debt isn’t the only thing that’s rising.

What do politicians and porn stars have most in common? They’re experts at switching positions in front of camera.

Are you from Pennsylvania cause I want to stick my pen in your sylvania

Why are most politicans in the closet or gay? Because they can only mandate.

Why do we laugh at female presidential candidates? Because they’re Hillary-ous!

Did you hear about the homosexual electron? Went around blowing fuses.

Lets role play I’ll be Osama, You be a cave, and I’ll hide up inside you

I asked Barack Obama if we could get together later, and he said Yes We Can!

Why don’t you remove those barriers to imports? It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down.

Someone told me a joke about transgender surgery. Took balls to tell it.

Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.

What’s the difference between Trump becoming president and a soldier dying in combat? The soldier knew what he signed up for.

What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and a carpenter? A carpenter can cover up the holes he screws.

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I want to do to your body what Mitt Romney does to poor people.

The last time someone listened to a Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years!

Did you know it’s now politically incorrect to say ‘black paint’?
Now you have to say “Jerome can you please paint the fence”.

The worst political jokes…..
Are the ones that find themselves getting elected.

what’s a political campaign we can all get behind?
gay rights

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.

I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.

The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift’s relationships.

Jokes about politics, religion and god.
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day.
Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.

Religion is a lot more like politics.
The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.

The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift’s relationships.

If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America.

Republicans & Democrats are like divorced parents who care more about getting the kids to hate the other one than they are their well-being.

The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day.
Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.

“Because it would be hilarious,” is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.

Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat.
The government hates competition.

Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, “Your lying.
The other replied, “I know but just hear me out.”

Religion is a lot more like politics.
The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.

A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency?
He said quickly Obama.
When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?

Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.

A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: “Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?”
Pres says “You think we’re stupid boy?”
“We made copies of all the receipts!”

During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment.
They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten.
After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be: “Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff.”

Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was “The president must go.

Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it.
So his two body guards run out to find out who it was.
Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, “We have some bad news, and we have worse news.”
“What is the bad news?” asked Bill.
“Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore.”
“Whats the worst news?” asked Bill.
“The worst news is that it is Hillary’s hand writing!”

The buzzword of this election is ”
CHANGE.”
Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to.
Just that we need CHANGE!
This brings to mind the following illustration…
Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the “Gunny” that they smelled bad.
The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear.
The “Gunny” responded, “Aye, aye, sir. I’ll see to it immediately.”
He went into the tent and said, “The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, Brown, you change with Schultz…”
“Change, now get on with it!”
And the moral is: A candidate may promise change in Washington… but the stink remains!

Two skeletons meet, and one asks the other, ”
Did you die before the Social Security reform, or after?”
“No, I’m still alive.”

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A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet.
He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp.
“This will look good on my mantel,” he said, and took it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes.
“I would like an ice-cold Coke right now.”
He gets his Coke and drinks it.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish.
“I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible.”
Suddenly, he’s on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully.
He tells the genie his third and last wish.
“I wish I’d never have to work again.”
Instantly, he was back in his government office.

It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA;
they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime.
As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.
He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it.
“Mr. President,” said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, “after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars.”
He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown.
He said, “But that’s impossible… we could never do it. Yes Mr. President,” and hung up the phone.
He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously.
“I have some bad news,” he said, “the President said that now that we’ve found intelligent life on Mars… he wants us to try to find it in Congress.”

George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan.
The doctor said: “Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side.”
Bush interrupted, “Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?”
The doctor replied, “That’s true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn’t anything right, while on the right side there isn’t anything left.”

One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp.
(Oh, c’mon, I’m sure there’s one buried in your desk too.)
Since he’d heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out.
So he rubbed the lamp and – oh, surprise out popped a genie.
The genie asked, as genies will, “What is your first wish?”
The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, “I would like to be rich!”
So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates.
Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn’t even have to ask for number two before he said, “My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!”
And poof, he was there.
Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, “I don’t want to do any work ever again!” and poof ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.

When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St.
Peter wouldn’t let him in until he proved his identity.
Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted into paradise.
And when Picasso died, St. Peter asked, “How do I know you’re Picasso?”
Picasso sketched out a couple of his masterpieces.
St. Peter was convinced and let him in.
When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the man at the gates.
“How can you prove to me you’re George W. Bush?” Saint Peter said.
Bush replied, “Well heck, I don’t know.”
St. Peter says, “Well, Albert Einstein showed me his equations and Picasso drew his famous pictures. What can you do to prove you’re George W. Bush?”
Bush replies, “Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?”
St. Peter says, “It must be you, George, c’mon on in.”

Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds?
It comes with a promise that you’ll get a toy someday.

Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast.
They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes.
Hilary said “I’m a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die” so she took one and jumped.
Bush said “I’m the smartest in the world, every one needs me” he took one and jumped.
Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped.
The monk tells the boy “You take the last parachute, let me die” the boy said
“Why? We can both jump.”
“How is that?” said the monk.
The boy replies, “Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!”

The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes on 5th November 1605.

One day Dick Cheney, George Bush and Laura Bush were in a private jet going to France.
Then, George Bush said, ” If i throw this hundred dollar bill off this jet I’ll make one person happy!”
Then Dick Cheney said, ” Man if i throw ten, ten dollar bills down, I’ll make ten people happy!”
Then Laura Bush said, ” If I throw one hundred one dollar bills off this jet I’ll make a hundred people happy.”
Then the pilot said, ” Man, if I throw these 3 losers outta this jet, I’ll make six billion people happy.”

The media’s relationship with Hillary is just like Bill’s relationship with Hillary.
The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they’ll move on to the next person any chance they get.

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