60+ Pirate Jokes That Will Make You Go One Eyed

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funny pirate jokes

We all know how amazed we get when we hear or get to hear about Pirates. But wait, have you heard about Pirate Jokes that can leave you in splits? Well, get ready to experience a voyage of a life-time with these amazing and chilling 60+ Pirate Jokes that will make you go one eyed in seconds!

Ready to unearth them? Here we go on this Pirate Jokes that can make you and your dear ones wanting for more!

Have you heard any great privateer jokes? Indeed, neither have ayyyye. Here is a word of caution from us, begin every one of these privateer jokes with a healthy “YARRRR” for best outcomes.

Pat: What’s the distinction between a privateer and a cranberry rancher?

Jerry: I don’t have the foggiest idea. What?

Pat: A privateer covers his fortune, however a cranberry rancher cherishes his berries.

A privateer and a mariner were trading stories. The mariner indicated the privateer’s peg leg and asked, “How could you get that?”

The privateer stated, “Affirmative, I wrestled a shark and lost my leg.”

The mariner indicated the privateer’s snare and asked, “How could you get that?”

The privateer stated: “Affirmative, I battled Red Beard’s group and lost my hand.”

The mariner indicated the privateer’s eye fix and asked, “How could you get that?”

The privateer stated, “Yes, a fledgling stopped by and left droppings in me eye.”

The mariner stated, “That is not as noteworthy as the other two. … ”

Yes,” the privateer replied. “It was me first day with the snare.”

Tyler: How much does it cost for a privateer to get his ears pierced?

Ryan: A marauder.

Tyler: How much does it cost for a privateer to get his ears pierced?

Ryan: A marauder.

Now we realize why we said our 60+ Pirate Joke Collection can leave you one-eyed? So to experience more of this, just start reading our Pirate Joke Collection and spread the joy!

Q: How do pirates prefer to communicate?
A: Aye to aye!

best pirate jokes

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Q: What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
A: He got marooned.

famous pirate jokes

Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
A: 8 pirates.

funny pirate jokes

Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
A: He bought it on sail.

pirate jokes

Q: What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
A: One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.

popular pirate jokes

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Q: How do pirates prefer to communicate?
A: Aye to aye!

Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

Q: Why is pirating so addictive?
A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!

Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?
A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!

Q: What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A: A rookie.

Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?
A: Nothing, it just waved.

Q: What does a dyslexic pirate say?
A: RRRRRRA!

Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C.

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.

Q: How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?
A: A buck-an-ear.

Q: How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
A: An arm and a leg.

Q: Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
A: Right where ye left him.

Q: How do ye turn a pirate furious?
A: Take away the “p.”

Q: Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate?
A: Because he was standing on the deck.

Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot.

Q: What does a vegan pirate do in jail?
A: Starrrrrve!

Q: What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
A: I, I, R, and the seven C’s!

Q. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise?
A. The plank!

Q. What did the pirate wear on Halloween?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?
A. Captain Hooky!

Q. What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian?
A. Aye matey years old!

Q: How does a pirate get to the top of the building?

A: By elevataaaaarrrrrr!!!!!
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?

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A: P. because it would be an R, but it’s missing a leg.
Q: What would you call a pirate with 4 eyes?

A: A iiiirate.
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite movie?

A: Booty and the Beast. (But it is arr-rated.)
Q: What happened to the pirate when his wooden leg caught fire?

A: He got burned to the ground.
Q: Where do pirates put their weapons?

A: In their enemies.
Q: How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?

How much does it cost a pirate to get a piercing? A buck an ear!

How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? An arm and a leg!

What has 8 arms and 8 legs? Eight pirates!

How did the pirate stop smoking? He used the patch!

What is piratophobia? Fear of a sunken chest!

What do you call a pirate that skips class? Captain Hooky!

What’s a pirate always looking for, even though it’s right behind him? His booty!

why does a pirate’s phone go beep beep beep beep beep? because he left it off the hook!

What does a vegan pirate do in jail? Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve!

Why do pirates never go hiking? poison oak is deadly with hook.

A pirate walks into a bar one day.

The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, you’ve not been in here for a while. And you look terrible, what happened to you?”

The pirate asks, “What do you mean? I’m fine.”

The bartender says, “But what about your wooden leg? You never used to have that.”

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“Ah, well,” says the pirate, “We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg. Luckily, the surgeon sorted me out, and I’m fine, really.”

“Okay,” says the bartender, “But what about your hook? You had two hands the last time I saw you.”

“Ah well,” says the pirate, “We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off. Luckily the surgeon sorted me out with this hook, and I feel fine, really.”

“Oh okay,” says the bartender, “But what about your eye patch? The last time you were in here you definitely still had both eyes.”

“Oh that,” says the pirate, “Well we were at sea and some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye.”

“So?” replied the bartender, “What happened? You can’t have lost your eye just because some bird pooped in it.”

“Well,” says the pirate, “It was my first day with my hook and I wiped my eye.”

A pirate and his parrot were adrift in a lifeboat after a dramatic escape from a vicious battle.

While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp.

Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.

The pirate was astonished when a Genie did indeed appear. The first thing the Genie said, however, was that he could only grant one wish, not the usual three.

Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate said, “Make the entire sea into rum!”

The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the best rum ever tasted by man.

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At the same time, the Genie disappeared into thin air.
Only the gentle lapping of rum against the lifeboat broke the silence as the pirate and the parrot considered their circumstances.

The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment said, “Now you’ve done it! Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat.”

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