60+ Physics Jokes You Can Relate To

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funny physics jokes

Have you heard any Physics jokes of late? If not, you may have been looking in wrong places! In any case, don’t stress, you’ve at long last gone to the correct one.

Regardless of whether you’ve quite recently viewed the first set of three or you’re an over the top fan who’s seen the majority of the science films at any rate multiple times, there’s something overpowering about Physics Jokes. There’s a mutual language in the motion pictures, a typical shorthand that we would all be able to identify with.

With that in mind, here are our 60+ Physics Jokes. At the point when you share them with others, simply ensure you’re not on the Millennium Falcon… or the ship may laugh uncontrollably!

A designer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a spiritualist were solicited to name the best development from all occasions.

The architect picked fire, which gave humankind control over issue.

The physicist picked the wheel, which gave mankind the control over space.

The mathematician picked the letters in order, which gave mankind control over images.

The spiritualist picked the canteen bottle.

“Why a canteen bottle?” the others inquired.

“Since the bottle keeps blistering fluids sweltering in winter and cold fluids cold in summer.”

“Truly – so what?”

“Consider it.” said the spiritualist respectfully. That little jug – how can it know?”

A hydrogen molecule lost its electron and went to the police headquarters to record a missing electron report. He was addressed by the police: “Haven’t you quite recently lost it some place? Is it true that you are certain that your electron is truly lost?”

“I’m certain.” answered the molecule.

You enter the lab and see a test. By what method will you realize which class is it?

In the event that it’s green and squirms, it’s science.

In the event that it smells, it’s science.

On the off chance that it doesn’t work, it’s material science.

A material science understudy was hit by a block tumbling from a house. He blacked out, yet came to sooner or later and began grinning. The spectators were concerned, so they asked him for what good reason the grin. “I simply acknowledged how fortunate I am on the grounds that the dynamic vitality is just half m v squared.”

The experimentalist comes running enthusiastically into the scholar’s office, waving a chart removed his most recent examination. “Gee,” says the scholar, “That is actually where you’d hope to see that pinnacle. Here’s the explanation.” A long legitimate clarification pursues. In it, the experimentalist says “Hold up a moment”, reads the outline for a second, and says, “Uh oh, this is topsy turvy.” He fixes it. “Well,” says the scholar, “you’d hope to see a dunk in precisely that position. Here’s the reason…”.

Hope these Physics Jokes re-kindled the fan in you? So, sit back and enjoy reading these collections the way you want whenever you feel stressed or you want to take a break from your stressful life!

Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms

popular physics jokes

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Q: What did the physicist snack on during lunch?
A: A ‘gram’ cracker.

physics jokes

Q: Why is a physics book always unhappy?
A: Because it always has lots of problems

funny physics jokes

Q: What did Donald Duck say in his graduate physics class?
A: Quark, quark, quark!

Scientist Standing in Front of Whiteboard

Q: What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?
A: Fission Chips.

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Q: Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?
A: Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.

Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events?
A: The Wave

Q: What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?
A: Let me atom

Q: Where does bad light end up?
A: In a prism

Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
A: From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.

Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms

Q: How does a German physicist drink beer?
A: With ein Stein

Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it’s in the ground state

Q: How do you call a one-sided nudie bar?
A: A Mobius strip club

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a rock climber?
A: You can’t – a rock climber is a scalar!

Q: How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two… One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the universe.

Q: Two cats are on a roof. Which one slides off first?
A: The one with the smaller mew!

Q: Why can’t you trust an atom?
A: They make up everything

Q: What was the name of the first satellite to orbit the Earth?
A: The moon

Q: What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?
A: “Gotta split!”

Q: What is the simplest way to observe the optical Doppler effect?
A: Go out at and look at cars. The lights of the ones approaching you are white, while the lights of the ones moving away from you are red.

Q: What does a subatomic duck say?
A: Quark.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side!

Q: Why wasn’t Heisenberg a good lover?
A: Because whenever he had the time, he didn’t have the energy.

Q: Two cats are on a roof. Which one slides off first?
A: The one with the smaller mew!

Q: How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven. One to do it and ten to co-author the paper.

Q: What’s the difference between an auto mechanic and a quantum mechanic?
A: The quantum mechanic can get the car inside the garage without opening the door.

Q: What is an astronomical unit?
A: One hell of a big apartment!

Q: What happens when electrons lose their energy?
A: They get Bohr’ed.

Q: Does light have mass?
A: Of course not. It’s not even Catholic!!!

Q: When was Heisenberg born?
A: Oh, that’s very uncertain.

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Q: What did one photon say to the other?
A: I’m tired of your interference.

Q: When one physicist asks another, “What’s new?” what’s the typical response?
A: C over lambda.

Q: What did the Higgs Boson say when it was prevented from entering the church?
A: “How can you have mass without me?”

Q: Why is electricity so dangerous?
A: Because it doesn’t know how to conduct itself properly.

Q: Why did Heisenberg hate driving?
A: Because every time he looked at the speedometer, he’d get lost.

Entropy isn’t what it used to be…

I’m not lazy, I’m overflowing with potential energy.

Sir Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree one fine day, trying to figure out how gravity works. And then it hit him.

My physics professor said I had potential. Then he pushed me off a building.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

Home is where your displacement is zero.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives?

A hundred kilopascals go into a bar…

Gravity is such a downer.

Two neutrinos go through a bar…

Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too!

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, no charge.”

Absolute zero is cool.

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.
The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.
The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
“Why a thermos bottle?” the others asked.
“Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.”
“Yes — so what?”
“Think about it.” said the mystic reverently. That little bottle — how does it know?”

A hydrogen atom lost its electron and went to the police station to file a missing electron report. He was questioned by the police: “Haven’t you just misplaced it somewhere? Are you sure that your electron is really lost?”
“I’m positive.” replied the atom.

You enter the laboratory and see an experiment. How will you know which class is it?
If it’s green and wiggles, it’s biology.
If it stinks, it’s chemistry.
If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.

A physics student was hit by a brick falling from a house. He fainted, but came to after a while and started smiling. The onlookers were worried, so they asked him why the smile. “I just realized how lucky I am because the kinetic energy is only half m v squared.”

Physics professor has been doing an experiment, and has worked out an empirical equation that seems to explain his data. He asks the math professor to look at it.
A week later, the math professor says the equation is invalid. By then, the physics professor has used his equation to predict the results of further experiments, and he is getting excellent results, so he asks the math professor to look again.
Another week goes by, and they meet once more. The math professor tells the physics professor the equation does work, “But only in the trivial case where the numbers are real and positive.”

A young physicist, upon learning that he was denied tenure after six productive years at a University in San Francisco, requested a meeting with the Provost for an explanation, and a possible appeal.
At the meeting, the Provost told the young physicist, “I’m sorry to tell you that the needs of the University have shifted somewhat, during the past six-years leading up to your tenure decision. In point of fact, what we now require is a female, condensed-matter experimentalist. Unfortunately, you are a male, high-energy theorist!”

Dejected but not defeated, the young physicist thought for a moment about the implications of the Provost’s words. “Sir,” he said, “I would be willing to convert in two of the three categories you mention, but … I’ll never agree to become an experimentalist!”

A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it.
An experiment is something everybody believes, except the person who made it.

The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. “Hmmm,” says the theorist, “That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason.” A long logical explanation follows. In the middle of it, the experimentalist says “Wait a minute”, studies the chart for a second, and says, “Oops, this is upside down.” He fixes it. “Hmmm,” says the theorist, “you’d expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here’s the reason…”.

A mathematician, an engineer and a physicist sat around a table discussing how to measure the volume of a cow.
The mathematician suggested the use of geometry and symmetry relationships of the cow, but his idea was rejected on the grounds of being too time consuming.
The engineer suggested placing the cow in a pool of water and measuring the change in the height of the water, but his idea was rejected on the grounds of impracticality.
“It’s easy,” said the physicist. “We’ll make an assumption that the cow is a small sphere, calculate the volume and then blow it up to the actual size.”

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A farmer has problems with his chickens: all of the sudden, they are all getting very sick. After trying all conventional means, he calls a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. The physicist tries. He stands there and looks at the chickens for a long time without touching them or anything. Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away in a notebook. Finally, after several gruesome calculations, he exclaims, “I’ve got it! But it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum.”

The renowned cosmogonist Professor Bignumska, lecturing on the future of the universe, had just stated that in about a billion years, according to her calculations, the earth would fall into the sun in a fiery death. In the back of the auditorium a tremulous voice piped up: “Excuse me, Professor, but h-h-how long did you say it would be?”
Professor Bignumska calmly replied, “About a billion years.”
A sigh of relief was heard. “Whew! for a minute there, I thought you said million years.”

Heisenberg was driving down the Autobahn whereupon he was pulled over by a policeman. The policeman asked, “Do you know how fast you were going back there? Heisenberg replied, “No, but I know where I am.”

How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?
He has a red sticker on his bumper, saying: “If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast.”

What’s the difference between an auto mechanic and a quantum mechanic?
The quantum mechanic can get the car inside the garage without opening the door.

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

Chemistry is physics without thought.
Mathematics is physics without purpose.

A rocket explorer named Wright
Once traveled much faster than light.
He sat out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

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