150+ One Liner Jokes That Are So Amazing

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best one liner jokes

Want to know more about another genre of jokes? Well, here it is! One Liner Jokes also called New Age Humour to have the potential to make us laugh or think in various dimensions! Not alone that, they also offer great comic relief at times of need!

If your quest is centered upon jokes that can make you realize facts and truth with a twist, One Liner Jokes is what you should need! Presenting 60+ One Liner Jokes That Are So Amazing to read for great comical relief and joy!

A large portion of us aren’t stand-up comics, and we don’t stroll around with a full collection of amusing jokes to share at gatherings. That is the reason it’s useful to have a decent joke in your back pocket. A solid joke never neglects to break the ice during social communications, and goodness knows a few of us can utilize all the assistance we can get in those circumstances!

Sometimes, the great individuals of the Ask Reddit people group get together and uncover their preferred short joke. Because of them, it’s simpler than any time in recent memory to remember a couple of jests to fill those unbalanced quiets at your next patio grill. Next time you’re speechless, evaluate one of these jokes and watch your notoriety soar!*

Results not ensured. Your mileage may shift. It would be ideal if you joke mindfully. Here are some proofs for that!

Joke 1: Did Not See That Coming: “Father goes to his child and reveals to him he’s received. The kid shouts. ‘I knew it! I wanna see my genuine guardians!’ Dad answers, ‘We are your genuine guardians, child. Pack your stuff, they’re pausing.'”

Joke 2: Well, Well, Well, Very Funny: “For what reason did the elderly person fall into the well?” Because she couldn’t see that well.”

Now you know, why we need one line jokers? So, sit back and read these 150+ One liner jokes that are going to leave you in splits!

Throwing acid is wrong, in some people’s eyes.

famous one liner jokes

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Say what you want about deaf people…

funny one liner jokes

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

one liner jokes

Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.

popular one liner jokes

Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.

best one liner jokes

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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.

The first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myself, “This changes everything”.

I’ve spent the last four years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer, but no-one will do it.

I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home all the signs were there.

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.

You can never lose a homing pigeon – if your homing pigeon doesn’t come back what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy… so I got drunk.

As I watched the dog chasing his tail I thought “Dogs are easily amused”, then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail.

PMS jokes are not funny or appropriate. Period!

Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.

Hedgehogs, eh? Why can’t they just share the hedge?

Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.

To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet – you can hide, but you can’t run.

Velcro – what a rip-off!

My friend keeps trying to convince me that he’s a compulsive liar but I don’t believe him.

It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.

I’ve just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap.

I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I’ve never looked back since.

I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

I like to hold hands at the movies… which always seems to startle strangers.

My wife told me sex is better on holiday… that wasn’t a very nice postcard to receive.

You have two parts of brain, ‘left’ and ‘right’. In the left side, there’s nothing right. In the right side, there’s nothing left.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Taking my husband’s last name doesn’t mean I’m not a feminist it means I don’t want anyone I went to high school with to be able to find me ever again.

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.

Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”
Student: “A drinking problem.”

Wolverine is a man of many talons, isn’t he?

I changed my password to “incorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say “Your password is incorrect”.

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

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Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist.

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

I like older men because they’ve gotten used to life’s disappointments. Which means they’re ready for me.

Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.

If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

You won’t drink away the alcoholism.

My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly “we need to talk”.

Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose to pay for self destruction

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I’m not saying your perfume is too strong. I’m just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

That one liner ‘i’m not drinking too much tonight’ never goes as planned…

TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.

I grew a beard thinking it would say “Distinguished Gentleman.” Instead, turns out it says, “Senior Discount, Please!”

How did I escape Iraq? Iran.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Anal intercourse is for assholes.

People used to laugh at me when I would say “I want to be a comedian”, well nobody’s laughing now.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life take a look in the mirror.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.

Plan ahead – It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.

How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes.

I like Jesus but he loves me, so it’s awkward.

Last night in my dream I was peeing in bed. Dreams do come true I realized in the morning.

Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way.

My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she’s way out of my league.

Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don’t know who there father’s are.

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In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma – but never let him be the period.

Did Noah include termites on the ark?

Smoking will kill you… Bacon will kill you… But,smoking bacon will cure it.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Circumcision is popular because Jewish girls won’t touch anything that’s not at least 15% off.

Everyone my age is older than me…

What’s the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck.

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road.”

With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it’s only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy’s truck leaves him too.

Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.

The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died. Resturant In Peace.

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

I have as much authority as the Pope, i just don’t have as many people who believe it.

Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum.

To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing!

Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.

A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.

Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.

The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG! it happened.

I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.

Why are there so many old people in Church? They’re cramming for the final.

A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don’t even own bikes…

I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace” So I bought her nothing.

When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Girl you’re like a car accident, cause I just can’t look away.

Before I tell my wife something important, I take both her hands in mine. That way she can’t hit me with them.

My job is secure. No one else wants it.

My first job was being a diesel fitter at a pantyhose factory. As they came off the line, I would hold them up and say, “yeah, Deez-el fit her.”

Why is the day that you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on, called a day off?

Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand.

A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday.

Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.

I’m sorry I wasn’t part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future?

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.

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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong …

My husband is on the roof – only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.

I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

Learn from yesterday, live for today and have hope for tomorrow.

He is so old that he gets nostalgic when he sees the Neolithic cave paintings.

It was only when I bought a motorbike that I found out that adrenaline is brown.

My love for you is like dividing by zero – it cannot be defined.

I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?

I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep – that’s got to be the ultimate rejection.

Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

Now what’s on the menu? Me-n-u

Q: Did you hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?
A: Don’t worry he’s “ALRIGHT” now!

You can make a water-bed more bouncy by using spring water.

Dont be afraid to stand for what you believe in, even if that means standing alone.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Money talks …but all mine ever says is good-bye.

Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.

I ordered 2000 lbs. of chinese soup. It was Won Ton.

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, “Anything you say can and will be held against you.” The man replies, “Boobs!”

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced.

If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

We just got a fax. At work. We didn’t know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.

It’s just a bad day, not a bad life.

Walking my dog we saw a guy in a suit walking his dog and I know my dog is thinking I don’t dress nice for him anymore.

One day you’re the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you’re toast.

Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.

I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it’s been doing is gathering dust.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?

Son: “Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?”
Dad: “No sun.”

A storm blew away only 25 % of my roof last night. Oof

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.

1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it’s Colin.

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

I named my dog 6 miles so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day.

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

Everything always ends well. If not – it’s probably not the end.

I love how in horror movies the person will ask, “Is anyone there?” As if the killer would say “Oh yeah I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”

I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.

I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

You’re so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we’re married and live together so I’d have to see them every day.

I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work.

My wife gave birth 4 times and still fits in her prom dress from high school.
I gave birth 0 times and I don’t fit in my pants from March.

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

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