70+ Mother’s Day Jokes That Are So Cute!

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funny mothers day jokes

Mother’s Day Jokes? Sounds quirky? Why not entertain the children by providing them the best mother’s day jokes that are circling the town? Here are 70+ Mother’s Day Jokes that are so cute yet satisfying! Not alone that these jokes are also sure to tickle the funny bones of your children and make them laugh for hours together!

Here we go!

Make your mother roar with laughter with these interesting Mother’s Day jokes. Indication: They’d be incredible inside that hand crafted card that you’re not going to neglect to make for your mother.

Mother No. 1: How would you get your lethargic head child up toward the beginning of the day?

Mother No. 2: I simply put the feline on the bed.

Mother No. 1: How does that help?

Mother No. 2: The canine’s as of now there.

 

Infant snake: Mommy, would we say we are harmful?

Mother snake: Yes, son. Why?

Infant snake: I just piece my tongue!

 

Chris: Why is a PC so keen?

Mother: It tunes in to its motherboard.

 

Child: Dad, do you know the contrast between a pack of treats and a pack of elephants?

Father: No.

Child: Then it is ideal Mom does the shopping for food

 

Sunday teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say petitions before eating?

Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t need to. My mother’s a decent cook.

 

Doug: I think my mother’s quitting any and all funny business about fixing up my room unequivocally.

Dan: How would you know?

 

Doug: She’s figuring out how to drive a bulldozer

Ryan: Why did you cleave the joke book fifty-fifty?

 

John: Mom said to cut the satire.

Erin: What did the mother shot state to the daddy projectile?

Fran: What?

Erin: “We’re going to have a BB!”

So, the next time if your child feels stressed or bored just read out these 70+ Mother’s Day Jokes That Are so cute and give them a whole new experience!

Q: What do you call a mom who can’t draw?
A: Tracy.

best mothers day jokes

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Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A: “Where’s Popcorn?”

famous mothers day jokes

Son: “Mom can I get twenty bucks”
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money
Son: “Well isn’t that what M.O.M stands for?”

funny mothers day jokes

Q: What book do moms like the most?
A: “Their husbands checkbook!”

mothers day jokes

Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A: Because his mom was in a jam!

popular mothers day jokes

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Q: Why is a computer so smart?
A: Cause it listens to its motherboard.

Q: Why did the cookie cry?
A: Because his mother was a wafer so long!

Q: What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip)?
A: The internet, Telephone, Tell your mom.

Q: What do you call a small mom?
A: minimum.

Q: What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato?
A: catch up!

Q: Why don’t mothers wear watches?
A: There’s a clock on the stove.

Q: What did the baby Egyptian say when he got lost?
A: I want my mummy.

Q: What did the momma say to the foal?
A: Its pasture your bedtime

Q: What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
A: You spend too much time on the web.

Q: Did you hear the song about the hot mom?
A: It goes “My milfshake brings all the boys to the yard.”

Q: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
A: It’s time to go to sweep!

My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.
” I said, “Oh yea”..Just you wait.”

Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mommy snake: Yes, son. Why?
Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!

Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Student: When my mother sees my report card!

I love strong, powerful mothers. They can open jars without my help.

My mother gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, she believed in me.

All mothers have intuition. Great mothers have radar.

She works hard for no money… So you better treat her right.

The only time your mom smiled when you were crying….. is when you were born.

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My mom likes to play this game called “Yell from four rooms away” and get upset when I can’t hear her.

My mom says its her house but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too

A boy goes to a strip club. His MOM gets angry
Mom :Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
BOY: Yes, I saw dad!

At 3 years “Mommy I love you.
At 10 years “Mom whatever”
At 16 years “Mom your so annoying.”
At 18 years “I’m leaving this house”.
At 25 years “Mom you were right”.
At 50 years ” I don’t want to lose my Mom.
At 70 years ” I would give up everything to have my mom here with me”.

I don’t think I’ll be able to get my Mom what she really wants on Mother’s Day – a doctor for a son-in-law.

I asked my wife what she’d like for Mother’s Day & she said for me to drive 7 hours east with the kids & then turn around & come back.

This week I’m taping a show full of pregnant moms & surprising them w/ big gifts for Mother’s Day. I hope it doesn’t turn into Labor Day.

I told my kids on Mother’s Day I wanted to be pampered – so they bought me some diapers.

For Mothers Day I got my mom a case of Bud Lite. After all, I’m the reason she drinks.

Pro Tip: When ordering flowers to be delivered on Mother’s Day, use a current address.
Although Mark appreciates his new orchids.

Happy Mother’s Day! Yes, it’s today. How fast can you glue macaroni into a bracelet?

There’s love, and then there’s eating the slop your kids made you for Mother’s Day love.

My kids are old enough now to go out on their own and get their mom a Mother’s Day gift she won’t like.

Me: I’m looking for something that doesn’t look like a last minute gift and says, “you’re a great mom.”
Gas station cashier: …cigarettes?

Me: Happy Mother’s Day!
Mom: I have a boyfriend.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

This year I’m going to give my mom the ultimate Mother’s Day gift. I’m going to take her shopping and pretend I’m enjoying it.

Moms will clean up everything. Scientists have proven that a Mom’s spit is the exact chemical composition of Formula 409. Mom’s spit on a Kleenex – you get rust off a bumper with that.

“Mother’s Day” is currently trending on Twitter, a social network where everyone is hiding from their families.

Kids are cute, but they’re so rude. I was taking a shower when my daughter came in and said, “Gosh, Mom, I hope when I grow up my breasts are nice and long like yours.”

There’s a debate about when a fetus is considered a real person. For Jewish mothers, it’s not until the child enters medical school.

ME: Want to go on a hot date for Mother’s Day?
WIFE: Sure! Will you watch the kids?

Every Mothers Day I stop by and visit my mother’s grave, just to make sure she hasn’t moved.

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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

As my mother said to me more than once, “Do you think you are smarter than Einstein?”

My kids brought me breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day: an Egg McMuffin. I was just relieved that I wouldn’t have to clean the kitchen.

I finally gave my mom what she really wanted on Mother’s Day. I got married.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, “Get the hell off my property.”

I called my mother up when they announced the Nobel Prize. She said, “That’s nice — and when are you coming to see me next?”

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.’

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

The week after Mother’s Day must be like Christmas for therapists.

99.9% of all questions from moms the day after Mother’s Day begin with “Where did you put the…”

Happy Mother’s Day! Without moms, where would we be? Probably with our hair still stuck in that water fountain drain. Just me?

Lots of Moms today opened packages and ooh-ed and ahh-ed over new cutting boards they thought were going to be iPads.

There should only be one “World’s Greatest Mom” coffee cup. Then we’d know.

If you feel tense and get a headache, follow the instructions on the bottle of aspirin: Take two tablets and keep away from children.

The Day After Mothers Day: now back to 364 days of letting it go to voicemail when your mother calls you.

This year I did something really wild for my mom on Mother’s Day: I listened to her advice. Next year I might even take it.

The only way my wife and I could afford to have kids is if she breastfed them for 18 years.

I know how to do anything. I’m a mom.

I don’t think I’ll be able to get my Mom what she really wants on Mother’s Day – a doctor for a son-in-law.

Fathers Day is just like Mothers Day, only you don’t spend as much.

Happy Mother’s Day! Yes, it’s today. How fast can you glue macaroni into a bracelet?

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

I always wanted to be just like my mother. Today I’m working on dramatically clutching my throat when I’m told the price of anything.

Her love makes my world go round.

Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.

For Mother’s Day, I got my mom a case of Bud Lite. After all, I’m the reason she drinks.

A mother said to her son, “Look at that kid over there; he’s not misbehaving.” The son replied, “Maybe he has good parents then!”

Daughter: Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?
Mum: I don’t know dear, you’d have to ask Grandma.

To Mum: I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m cold, I’m hot, Can I have…, Where are you?
To Dad: Where’s Mum?

Bought my Mum a mug which says, “Happy Mother’s day from the World’s Worst Son”.
I forgot to mail it but I think she knows.

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

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