80+ Mom Jokes You Can Relate To

0
286
famous mom jokes

Moms indeed are the greatest creation in the world. Probably they are God sent gifts who are here to protect and take care of us. Not alone that, they also go to great miles to ensure that we get everything we deserve or need right on time. Such is the power of motherhood and we got to respect them no matter what the situation or who we are!

But on the other hand, we know that mothers are probably the only people to whom we joke, talk or chit chat a lot of things! So keeping that in mind, we have collected 60+ Mom Jokes You Can Relate To! Not alone that, these Mom Jokes will also give you the chance to bond with your mothers like anything!

Here we go on this collection!

Before we start, we need to make it impeccably evident that we don’t have anything against your mom. We’ve never met the lady, yet she seems like an upstanding individual and a sustaining, great parent. The majority of the jokes you’re going to peruse are without a doubt not about your darling mother, who is blameless and the best person who at any point existed. To be completely forthright, we’re not in any case sure for what reason we’re distributing these yo mother jokes. On the off chance that you solicit us, these sorts of yo mother jokes are old, modest, and abused.

Much the same as yo mother!

Apologies, sorry, that was excessively simple. However, that is the thing that happens when the point of yo mother jokes come up. You feel oddly constrained to make statements that no full grown-up could ever say unmistakably about someone else’s mom. What sort of beast would accomplish a wonder such as this? Indeed, as indicated by a recent report from the Medical University of Vienna, it may imply that you’re shrewd. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true, getting a charge out of diversion that is dim, hostile, and outrageously impolite — for example each “Yo Mama” joke at any point composed — could demonstrate a higher-than-regular IQ. For whatever length of time that it’s obviously implied as a joke, and you never attempt to put forth a persuading defense to a buddy why his mother is so terrible. There’s a major contrast between being amusing and being a snap.

Here are some of our most loved Yo Mama jokes, arranged by each class you could need. Offer them at your very own hazard. Furthermore, if yo mom asks, no, we weren’t discussing her.

Yo mother’s so fat, when she fell I didn’t giggle, yet the walkway laughed hysterically.

Yo mother’s so fat, when she avoids a dinner, the financial exchange drops.

Yo mother’s so fat, it took me two transports and a train to get to her great side.

Yo mother’s so fat, when she goes outdoors, the bears shroud their nourishment.

Yo mother’s so fat, in the event that she purchases a fur garment, an entire species will end up wiped out.

Yo mom’s so fat, she stepped on a scale and it stated: “To be proceeded.”

Yo mom’s so fat, I swerved to miss her in my vehicle and came up short on gas.

Yo mom’s so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

So, now you know why we said Your Mother Jokes are so powerful and interesting? Sit back and read them at your own disposal.

Matthew: What did the mother rope say to her child?
Jim: What?
Matthew: “Don’t be knotty.”

best mom jokes

RELATED: 300+ Jokes and Riddles That You Can Think and Laugh!

Jack: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Bill: What?
Jack: It’s time to go to sweep!

famous mom jokes

Ryan: Why did you chop the joke book in half?
John: Mom said to cut the comedy.

funny mom jokes

Son: “Mum, stop making jokes you’re not funny.”
Mum: “I made you.”

mom jokes

Chris: Why is a computer so smart?
Mom: It listens to its motherboard.

popular mom jokes

RELATED: 60+ Jewish Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning?
Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed.
Mom No. 1: How does that help?
Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there.

Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes, son.Why?
Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!

Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.

Doug: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all.
Dan: How do you know?
Doug: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.

Erin: What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?
Fran: What?
Erin: “We’re gonna have a BB!”

Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!

A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.
“How do you know?” the boy asks.
The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”

Elephant: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Hippo: I give up.
Elephant: Because their kids have to play inside!

Daffynition: Minimum—A small mother.

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”

Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!

Robbie: Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name?
Bobbie: East?
Robbie: No. Larry.

Daffynition: Sweater—something you wear when your mother gets cold.

Pee Wee: What did the digital clock say to its mother?
Westy: What?
Pee Wee: “Look, Ma! No hands!”

Ben: How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?
Jerry: I dunno.
Ben: It was way past its threadtime!

RELATED: 100+ Funny Knock Knock Jokes That Will Make You Think A Lot

A mother said to her son, “Look at that kid over there; he’s not misbehaving.” The son replied, “Maybe he has good parents then!”

Daughter: Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?
Mum: I don’t know dear, you’d have to ask Grandma.

To Mum: I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m cold, I’m hot, Can I have…, Where are you?
To Dad: Where’s Mum?

Bought my Mum a mug which says, “Happy Mother’s day from the World’s Worst Son”.
I forgot to mail it but I think she knows.

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

A kid asks his dad, “What’s a man?” The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.” The kid says, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother’s Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. “As a surprise for Mother’s Day,” one explained, “We decided to cook our own breakfast.”

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?”
Fred replied, “Actually, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.”
His friend thinks for a moment and says, “I’ve got the perfect solution, just find a girl who’s just like your mother.”
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, “Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?”
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, “Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.”
The friend said, “Then what’s the problem?”
Fred replied, “My father doesn’t like her.”

A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day but the mother was unusually quiet. Finally, her husband asked what was wrong.
“Nothing,” said the woman.
Not believing her, he asked again. “No seriously, what’s wrong?”
Finally she said, “Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother’s Day, you don’t even tell me so much as ‘Thank you.’”
“Why should I?” he said. “Not once in 15 years have I had a Father’s Day gift.”
“Yes,” she said, “but I’m their real mother.”

Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!

Two men are talking and one says to the other, “My wife’s doctor says she has menopause, and, man, has she been moody lately. How long do the symptoms of menopause usually last?” The other man replies, “Let me put it this way: menopause will be listed as the cause on your death certificate.”

A little girl asked her mum, “How did the human race appear?”
Mum answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made …”
Two days later the girl asked her Dad the same question.
Dad answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”
The confused girl returned to her mum and said, “Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?”
The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!”

Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day?
So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on Mum.

RELATED: 130+ Funny Clean Jokes That Are So Mind-Blowing

Son: When is Mother’s Day Dad?
Dad wearily unplugging the vacuum, “Every day son, every day.”

A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.
“How do you know?” the son asks.
The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”

Definiton: Jumper – something you wear when your mother gets cold.

Mum: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through 3 closed doors in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away… while Daddy snores next to you.

“If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?”

A kid walks up to his mom and asks, “Mom, can I go bungee jumping?” The mom says “No, you were born from broken rubber and I don’t want you to go out the same way!”

Chris: Why is a computer so smart?
Mom: It listens to its motherboard.

“It is never easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”

“If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children’”|

“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”

Why is Daenarys Stormborn the patron saint of Mother’s Day?
Because she’s the mother of all dragons

My Mum’s best dish is store bought chocolate cookies.

“You will always be your child’s favourite toy.”

“People who say they sleep like a baby don’t have one.”

“Happy Mother’s Day. Sorry I wrecked your vagina.”

Daughter: Mum, I need my personal space!
Mum: You came out of my personal space.

“Son: Mum, Dad keeps making Dad jokes!
Mum: “So?”
Son: So, what’s a Mum joke?
Mum: “Look in the Mirror, dear.”

I saw Mummy asking Santa why he didn’t put his dishes in the dishwasher.

Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My Mum’s a good cook.

A boy goes to a strip club.
Mum: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
BOY: Yes, I saw dad!

Why don’t they have Mother’s Day sales?
Because Mothers are priceless.

What’s the difference between Superman and Mothers?
Superman’s just a superhero now and then. Mums are superheroes all the time.

What three words solves Dad’s every problem?
Ask your mother.

What’s the hardest thing your mother makes you swallow?
The fact they’re always right.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Annie
Annie who?
Annie thing you can do, Mum can do better.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you doing for Mother’s Day?

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Justin!
Justin who?
Justin time for Mother’s Day

I shouted to my Mum on Mother’s Day, “How does breakfast in bed sound?”
She said, “Ooh that sounds lovely!
I said, “Great, I’ll have bacon, fries and two eggs.”

I asked Mum what she wanted for Mother’s Day.
She said, “ A bit of care and comfort”
So I put her in a nursing home.

RELATED: 130+ Dog Jokes That Are So Touching!

I really wanted a games console so I presented my Mum with a Playstation 4 for Mother’s Day.
She said, “Why am I not surprised?”
I said, “‘Because there’s no wrapping paper?”

“One days vacation a year, that’s all I get!” queries the woman.
Boss, “ Well we call it Mother’s Day and technically you still have to work.”

“I bet Mother’s Day gets really awkward and confusing on Game of Thrones.”

Why do Mothers have to have two visits to the optometrist?
Because they also have eyes in the back of their head.

For weeks a six-year-old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mummy ate it!”

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks: “Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?”
Her mother replied: “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked: “Mumma, how come all of grandma’s hairs are white?”

A mother’s sacrifice isn’t giving birth. It’s nine months without wine.

Happy Mother’s Day to someone who spoils me and then complains about how spoiled I am.

Why are you drinking wine out of a coffee mug?
I have to it was getting embarrassing. Everytime Lucy saw a wine glass she would point and cry out Mummy, Mummy!

The family were disappointed with their Mother’s Day celebrations on the moon. The food was terrific but the restaurant lacked atmosphere.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?

Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the crib?
Daughter: You told me to change the baby.

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

How do your kids know that you’re cross with them?
You use their full name.

9 Things Mum Would Never Say
“How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”
“Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.”
“Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery.”
“Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week.”
“Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.”
“Well, if Rahul’s mamma says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.”
“The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”
“I don’t have a tissue with me… just use your sleeve.”
“Don’t bother wearing a jacket – the wind-chill is bound to improve.”

Elephant: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Hippo: I give up.
Elephant: Because their kids have to play inside!

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”

Little Girl to her friend: “I’m never having kids. I hear they take nine months to download.”
There’s a debate about when a fetus is considered a real person. For Jewish mothers, it’s not until the child enters medical school.

What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.”

What did the digital clock say to its mother?… “Look, Ma! No hands!”

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!

Boy: Hey mum can I have 100 dollars?
Mum: Son money doesn’t grow on trees
Boy: Where does money come from?
Mum: Paper
Boy: Does Paper come from?
Mum: …

Q: What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
A: You spend too much time on the web.

“Mom, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy. “Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his mother replied. After dinner the mother inquired, “Now, baby, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Q: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
A: It’s time to go to sweep!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.