100+ Mean Jokes That Will Make Every One Laugh

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Cartoon tomato with eyes and smiling. Funny tomato

Jokes are funny and are accepted by everyone! Irrespective of age, gender or class, people love jokes and at the same time, they like to joke! But the question is how do we define jokes or how do we joke in front of people?

Worry not! Here is our 100+ Mean Jokes That Will Make Every One Laugh and giggle or laugh to their heart’s content. Plus it will also make them so happy that, they will want more of them!

Here we go!

 

Bleak Jokes

“I’m grieved” and “I am sorry” mean something very similar. Aside from at a memorial service.

Overviews state that 4 out of 5 individuals experience the ill effects of looseness of the bowels. That implies the fifth one enjoys it.

My mom needed to test my duty and needed me to prepare supper for the family to assist mean with seeing how it feels to always cook for an entire family. So me with my terrible cleverness chose to make a monster joke for when supper opportunity arrived around thus I just got four plates and set them before my family and I at that point stated, “Here you are a fine African feast.” at that point everyone taken a gander at me in dissatisfaction and afterward I kept on saying, “what poor taste?”

 

Gay

What does the word ‘gay’ mean?” asked a child his dad.

“It signifies ‘upbeat’,” answered the dad.

“Goodness,” challenged the child, “so you are gay at that point?”

“No, child, I have a spouse.”

 

Plays on words

A debt of gratitude is in order for clarifying “many” to me, it implies a great deal.

 

Pity

It’s pitiful on the grounds that with all these mean jokes Stephen hawking’s can’t Stand up for himself.

 

Entryway

Johnny was sitting in front of the TV when you hear them state bitch and rats so he ask his father “what is a bitch and jerk.” father say “a bitch is a female and a charlatan is a mail.” at that point Johnny returns to the TV and hears them state ass and poo so he ask his father what poop and ass implies father says “a pool is shaving crème like what I’m putting all over and ass is a coat why not bug your mother.” so Johnny returns to the TV and afterward they state f… so Johnny ask his mother what f… implies mother says “f… means cutting like doing to the turkey then a couple of moments later Johnny hears a thump on the entryway so he answers it he at that point says “welcome bitch and jerk may I tack you can” the individuals at that point ask wear his guardians are Johnny says “my father is putting crap on his face and my mother I f…ing the turkey.

Hope these jokes made you laugh! So, the next time if you want a break just read out these 100+ Horrible Jokes and see the difference.

In my spare time I help blind children. – I mean the verb, not the adjective.

best mean jokes

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Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: your both!
Girlfriend: what do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!

famous mean jokes

if tomatoes are fruit does that mean ketchup is a smoothie

Cartoon tomato with eyes and smiling. Funny tomato

Just because she weighed as much as two women…
Doesn’t mean you had a threesome.

mean jokes

If you eat a clock then does that mean you’ve consumed time?

popular mean jokes

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Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

“I’m sorry” and “I apologise” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, “Here you are a fine African meal.” then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, “what poor taste?”

“What does the word ‘gay’ mean?” asked a son his father.
“It means ‘happy’,” replied the father.
“Oh,” contested the son, “so you are gay then?”
“No, son, I have a wife.”
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

johnny was watching TV when you hear them say b…. and bastards so he ask hes dad “what is a b…. and bastard.” dad say “a b…. is a female and a bastard is a mail.” then johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say ass and shit so he ask hes dad what shit and ass means dad says “a shit is shaving creme like what i’m putting on my face and ass is a coat why don’t you bug your mom.” so johnny goes back to the TV and then they say f… so johnny ask his mom what f… means mom says “f… means carving like doing to the turkey then a few minutes later Johnny hears a knock on the door so he answers it he then says “welcome b…. and bastard may i tack your ass” the people then ask wear hes parents are johnny says “my dad is putting shit on hes face and my mom i f…ing the turkey.

It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself

Rules of Dark humor:
All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
Sincerely, Zane

Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Wife: “What does that mean?” Husband: “Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute ©, delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H).” Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?” Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”

The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

This is really mean… A man put a blind man in a circular room and said ur dinners in the corner

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean… It’s just collecting dust.

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Everyone: What does NASA mean ? NASA’s response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

*tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. i mean, there’s a skele-ton of em! you gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. besides, if ya don’t know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, f…ing numbskull. did those tickle your funny bone? now i’ve been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. now if you hate all these, i won’t be bothered, i got thick skin! but first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. now, i gotta go to grillby’s. they got a discount on spare-ribs. bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic. I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, ore lose it forever.

octo means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs… so where did the pus come from.

just because you have a career in the north doesn’t mean you you are north Career

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

Thanks for explaining the word many to me.It means a lot.

My boy I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now! draws a picture of his “epic” sword “what…WHAT… WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN’T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!”

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

In Portuguese, Trumpa means bullshit

I have sexdaily, I mean dyslexia, fcuk

Sans: why couldn’t the skeleton go to prom Papyrus: Why. AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!! Sans: Sorry didn’t mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS…wait Sans: ( ?° ?? ?°)

A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral. This friend asks his wife “Can I say a word?” “Of course” she says. The man stands up and says “Plethora” The man’s wife says “Thanks, it means a lot”

When I’m bored I like to slap orphans I mean what are they gonna do tell their parents

I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

“Why do people call Americans excessive?”
“It was probably because of WWII.”
“Oh you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?”

( Guy 1: Why my cat’s so angry ? ) ( Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage ) ( Guy 1: Don’t you ? ) ( Guy 2: Yeah it seems delicious ) ( Guy 1: Mmm so … w-wait what are you doing ? I didn’t think you mean the one in my lunch :< where are you leaving ## ) Meow … ( Guy 1: Shut up i will never feed you this sausage it’s not for you :< — </3 )

What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.

[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.

I heard an unusual word the other day: “Opaque”
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.

ligma is a disease so does that mean ligma balls

Why do you want me? Cus u like me … What do you mean ? You love me No Look down

Money means nothing to me ask me for it you will get nothing

Two guys were walking down the street and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any Blond in the world into giving him a B……, any Blond! So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said alright let’s see it! The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, Hi my names Dave and my Doctor just told me that if I didn’t get a B…… from a Blond within three hours that the disease I have will kill me in ‘oh less see now 22 minutes! She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said “You mean I could save you from dying right now?” Then she says pull it out! 10 minutes later the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out! So he walks over to her and says I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friends life?! So she looks up him just crying her eyes out even worse and says” I could have saved my dad!”

I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): How are you doing? Me, an autist: Pretty bad honestly. Guy (continued walking past me) Me: …
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

What do you call purple when it’s being mean? Violent

Incest. When “slow down and apply more lube bro” REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.

When your mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone good times

Immobile means I’m mobile in my books.

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I mean I’d tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it’s just too cheesy.

WHY TF WAS MY SHOOTING JOKE REMOVED? IT WAS FUNNY AND THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A WEBSITE FOR MORBID HUMOR WTF I MEAN WORSTJOKESEVER.COM. COME ON…

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises. I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs so I don’t know why they do it

Reporter: “Excuse me, may I interview you?” Man: “Yes!” Reporter: “Name?” Man: “Abdul Al-Rhazim.” Reporter: “Sex?” Man: “Three to five times a week.” Reporter: “No no! I mean male or female?” Man: “Yes, male, female… sometimes camel.” Reporter: “Holy cow!” Man: “Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general.” Reporter: “But isn’t that hostile?” Man: “Yes, horse style, dog style, any style.” Reporter: “Oh dear!” Man: “No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.”

A woman ran into a police station screeming “help i have bin graped” the policeman said “do you mean raped” the woman said “no the was a bunch of then”.

I hate it when people say to suck it up… I mean sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus,the bartender says “Don’t you mean a Martini?”the Roman then says “Look,if I want a double I’ll ask for one.

Rip k. When they have a party, their racist. When they hang out with ys, their mean.

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Come on guys, It’s not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, The riot dev’s try their best but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else. Like their downsyndrome

Why are there no women in the NFL? Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity. So the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch shed have to be?

I’m sorry and I apologize mean the same thing…
Except at a funeral

i hate it when people think im a boy because of my short hair i mean what did you expect im gay of course i have short hair

I asked a <a href=“https://chritmis.com/romantic-good-morning-messages/”>Chinese girl </a> for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!” Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”

Korn Kob Kyle??? you know what this means! yikes… #PlugWalk

I asked a Chinese girl her number, she said ‘Sex sex sex, free sex tonight,’. I said ‘Wow’. Her friend corrected her by saying ‘She means : 666-3629’.

(A scientist time travels into the year 2024)
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?

what does NASA means? No Apes Submit Astronaut

I was talking to my old friend, they said ” We should hang out more! ”
I said ” you mean we should ketchup?”

Sara’s Mom was helping her prepare for her drivers test. Mom: Okay, any questions? Sara: Yes. I actally don’t know what “yield ” means Mom:Don’t worry Hon. No one does.

grandma: calls you: hello grandma what are you doing why you can’t mean I’m right in the house right now grandma: I didn’t mean To call you bye

You: what you doing I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math hahahahaha

Mom: I apologize Sam for being so mean to you <3
Sam: Thank you mother for your apology.
Mom: jk

i hate it when people think im a boy because i have short hair i mean im gay what do you expect

Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up. I mean honestly, what are they going to do tell there parents? ????

If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants does that mean your pants are tucked into your shirt?

Homie: let’s meet ??
Skrr: it’s ????
Meaning- it’s hot[??] dawg[??]

“TINY HANDS, EVEN TINIER BRAIN”
(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic :
…“Hey how ’bout that Donald Trump chump, what the f… up with that dude, man ? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . “I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that’s synonymous for being f…ed up, for instance”…
STUMP : TEENY DICK
BUMP : TINY TIT
GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP : A F…ED UP CHILDREN’S DISEASE
LUMP : IF IT’S MALIGNANT, YOU’RE KINDA F…ED
UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP : AN ASS
DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP : SEE “HUMP”
. . . and last, but definitely not least –
JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER F…ER, AND GO TO HELL !!
… “Well that’s about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse !! …(splort!, plop!)… OOOOPS !! … sniff,sniff … Ewww !” (audience roars) “Fuhhhhk !.. I better go, ’cause I just went !! … Ha! ha! ha!”
…“Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen ! Good Night !!” …
(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin’, guns poppin’)
“OH LORDY !!.. HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN’ THE F… OUTTA HEEE!!”
(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi……….with the windows down) …Amen.
I love going g to Hooters and looking at the menu… If you know what I mean;)

wanna hear a mean joke? my life

which freedom fighter do we say good morning everyday ans subah chandra bose subah means morning

STOP THATS MEAN YOR MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE WITH D…………!!!

We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people I mean they already have enough on their plates … like cats and dogs

Is it a bad to hit an orphan? What are they gonna do tell their parents? Well… I mean they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus. The bartender asks, “Don’t you mean Martini?” Julius Caesar says, “No, I only want one.”

I went home one day. My mom said look what a few guys got me. It was a MILF trophy. My mom ask what does that mean. So I said Mom’s I’d Like To F…. Then my mom said these guy want to f… me. I said yeah. Then my mom said I still got it.

When I was walking home, a couple of married guys was saying your mom is good at her job, but I realize my mom doesn’t work. So I ask my mom why are these guys saying your good at your job, you don’t work. My mom said yeah I got new job. So I said what do you do. My said job hand, no I mean is called a hand job

It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, ” I was late! I’m happy I was late to work! I mean… I could’ve di-” I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.

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I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked “where are you going”
He said “Camp Bin Laden”
I asked “what do they do there”
He answered “they got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus the got arts and crafts.”
I asked “what do you mean by arts and crafts?”
He said “see this towel on my head” I nodded “I made it out of boxer jokes”
when people mean phat feast they don’t mean fat. when yo mumma says phat she means FAT but thinks shes cool!

knock knock,
a joke
u

So I made a simple cancer joke on roblox with my friend an then both hers dumb ass friends we’re like, OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!! THAT PISSED ME OFF like damn woman it’s not like I said, IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB ASSES. If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can’t talk. They don’t know that I’m abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I’d get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS B….

This is mean af yall need to stop this like wtf what would happen if u all grew up and u was like this like dam

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