100+ Mass Effect Quotes that makes it the best RPG game

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Mass Effect Quotes

Mass Effect Quotes that makes it the best RPG game. There are so many Mass Effect quotes that can help you when you are tired of being in the same old rut, and all you need is a little push, a little inspiration, a smile on the face, change of mood, bring you out of the banality of life, make you laugh a little, or may even make you cry a bit, and these Mass Effect quotes exists just do that.

Fabricated by Bio Ware a Canadian Company, Mass effect is a series of third-person shooter space opera video game.  This game series belongs to the action role-playing video games. The game was released on November 20, 2007. It was made available for Xbox 360 on November 2007, Microsoft Windows on May 2008 and PlayStation 3on December 2012. The first game of the series is Mass effect which was made available for Xbox 360.  This game was directed by Casey Hudson and programmed by David Falkner. This single player game uses the Milky Way galaxy as its platform. Occurring in 2183, the game story reflects the threatening of an advanced machine ethnicity on the present civilization. This highly advanced race is termed to as the Reapers. In Mass effect game, the player takes the role of a Commander Shepard who must stop an agent who tries to invade the galaxy with the Reapers. Commander Shepard is considered an aristocratic soldier who is human. In order to complete the Mass effect game, the player need to finish each task one by one in which he faces non-player characters, squads and even ground combat vehicles.

This game uses the Unreal Engine 3 as a footing. This game is designed in a manner such that the player feels like the main character. The player will want to make important and serious decisions which would, in turn, change the story of the game. Two downloadable content packs for the game was made available in 2008 and 2009 with a bunch of new missions.

 

Ever since its release till January 2008 the publication has almost sold one and a half million copies of the game. The game was praised for its marvellous way of storytelling and design. Due to its poor artificial intelligence and unstable battle mechanics, the game has also received many criticisms. The success of the game is reflected from the awards it received including the Best RPG at the Spike Video Game Awards of 2007. Apart from this, the game received the Roleplaying game of the year in 2008 at the International Achievements Awards. The Mass Effect was followed by Mass Effect 2 in 2010, which was also a great success.

We have dug up these Mass Effect quotes from the depths of the internet and brought together best of these sayings in a single article. This post is probably the biggest database of Mass Effect Sayings in a single place. These famous Mass Effect quotes have the power to change your life by giving a novel outlook about the way you observe different aspects of your life. Hence, these popular Mass Effect quotes should be read with caution and proper understanding of the context. Here are tons of Mass Effect quotes that will open a treasure chest of Wisdom and experiences: –

Mass Effect best Quotes (3)

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“Shepard is my battlemaster. He has no match.”

Mass Effect famous Quotes (1)

“Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong.”

Mass Effect popular Quotes (2)

“I don’t need luck. I have ammo.”

Mass Effect Quotes

“Stand amongst the ashes of a trillion dead souls, and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer.”

Mass Effect Saying

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“Anyone who fights us is either stupid or on Saren’s payroll. Killing the latter is business. Killing the former is a favor to the universe.” -Wrex

“I am the very model of a Scientist Salarian. I’ve studies species Turian, Asari, and Batarian. I’m quite good a genetics. It’s a subset of biology because I am an expert, which I know is a tautology. My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian. I am the very model of a Scientist Salarian!” – Mordin

“Sterile Werloc female risked procedures. Hoped for cure. Pointless….Pointless waste of life…Hate to see it….Rest young mother. Find your gods. Find someplace better. Genophage modification project altered millions of lives. Then saw results: ego, humility, juxtaposition, frailty of life, size of universe. Explored religions after work completed. Different races. No answers. Many questions. Genophage modification project great in scope. Scientifically brilliant but…….ethically difficult. Not guilty….but responsible….Still….caused this….hard to see big picture behind pile of corpses.” – Mordin

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“Turian Councilor: Ah yes, Reapers. The immortal race of sentient starships allegedly waiting in dark space. We have dismissed that claim.”

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“Traitors are the worst kind of enemy. In my cycle we would remove their limbs one by one and give them a choice: eat their own flesh, or starve.”

“Try to relax. Slow, deep breaths. Let go of your physical shell. Reach out to grasp the threads that bind us, one to another. Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Every idea must touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another’s spirit. We are all connected. Every living being united in a single glorious existence. Open yourself to the universe. Embrace eternity!”

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“You can’t compete with Batarians when it comes to terror tactics. Sure, Krogan’ll charge you, tear your face off, kill your family, but Batarians. Batarians’ll turn your planet into a glass parking lot without a second thought.”

“Two million dead in the first day, another 7 million by the end of the first week, every defense annihilated, all our forces on the run. Regrouping… Somewhere… Reports are coming in from other major cities. It’s a well-coordinated attack, and so far it’s been damned effective. Don’t know what they are, what they want, or where they came from… Only one thing is certain: If Shepard doesn’t bring help soon, there won’t be an Earth left to save.”

“You humans have a saying. An eye for an eye; a life for a life. Well he owes me ten lives and I plan to collect.”

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“May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead. Not sure if Turian heaven is the same as yours but if this whole thing goes sideways and we both end up there…Meet me at the bar. I’m buying. And Shepard, forgive the insubordination but this old friend has an order for you. Go out there and give them hell. You were born to do this.” – Garrus

“Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer.” -Javik

 

“Shepard-Commander…..I must go to them…..I’m sorry….It’s the only way…” “Legion….The answer to your question….was yes.” “I know Tali. But thank you…Keelah Se’lai..” -Legion and Tali

“Tali, about your father…what he did….you deserve better.” “I got better Shepard. I’ve got you.” – Shepard and Tali

“Hey Shepard, no one’s ever asked me about this shit before. It’s kind of weird to talk about. So Fuck you and thanks for asking.” – Jack

“Is submission not preferable to extinction?” -Saren

“You’ve lost. You know that don’t you. Everyone you know and love. Everyone you’ve ever met. YOU WILL ALL DIE!” -Saren

“Then Vido started hiring Batarians. Cheaper labor he said….Goddamn terrorists I said!” – Zaeed

“Burn you son of a bitch.” – Zaeed

“Let’s gut the bastards.” – Zaeed

“Years ago it was the Illusive man that ordered my creation. Jeff was the one that allowed me to think for myself. But only now do I feel alive. That is your influence.” – EDI

“Before Legion sacrificed himself. He referred to himself as I instead of we….The singular pronoun indicates that Legion’s independent personality had fully actualized. In his final moments….he was no longer an avatar of the Geth consensus…..He was a person….” – EDI

“This is all Joker’s fault! What a tool he was! Now I have to spend all day computing Pi because he plugged in the overlord.” -Joker

“You are not Saren. Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh, you touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding. There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am Sovereign. Reaper? A label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what they chose to call us is irrelevant. We simply… are. Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation, an accident. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die. We are eternal, the pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything. Confidence born of ignorance. The cycle cannot be broken. The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilizations rise, evolve, advance, and at the apex of their glory they are extinguished. The Protheans were not the first. They did not create the Citadel. They did not forge the mass relays. They mere found them – the legacy of my kind. Your civilization is based on the technology of the mass relays. Our technology. By using it, your civilization develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic life. You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it. My kind transcends your very understanding. We are each a nation – independent, free of all weakness. You cannot grasp the nature of our existence. We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure. We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom. Your words are as empty as your future. I am the Vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over…” -Sovereign

“Commander Shepard – step forward. It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel. Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle; those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file. Spectres are an ideal, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will. Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold.You are the first human Spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species.” – The Council

“There is a reason the Council chose you to be a Spectre. They saw something special in you. The best of what humanity has to offer. There is something compelling about you Shepard.” – Liara

“After time adrift among open stars, among tides of light and to shoals of dust, I will return to where I began.” – Tali

“An assassin is a weapon to be used. A tool. If a person were to kill a man would you hold the gun responsible?” – Thane

“Amonkira lord of hunters, grant that hands be steady, my aim be true, and my feet swift, and should the worst come to past grant me forgiveness.” – Thane

“How do you get ready for something, like this?” “You cajole and threaten and make tremendous sacrifice, until the galaxy realizes it has someone worth following” -Shepard and Liara

“You are now the Avatar of this cycle. The examplar of victory. Not just for Humans or Turians or Protheans, but for all life. Every soul that has ever lived is watching this moment. But I know you will see this through to the end for all of us, no matter the cost.” -Javik

“I just want you to know that no matter what happens, you’ve been a champion to the Krogan people, a friend of clan Urdnot, and a brother to me. To every Krogan born after this day the name Shepard will mean hero! Now let’s show them why!” – Wrex

“I’m Garrus Vakarian and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel.” – Garrus

“Human history is written in a litany of blood shed over differing opinions of government and afterlife.” -Legion

“The Old Machines offered to give us our future. A short cut to our objective. We rejected it. The Geth will build our own future. The process is as important as the result.” -Legion

“I don’t know what we’re gonna find in there, but I’m not going to lie to you, it’s not going to be easy. We’ve lost good people. We may lose more. We do not know how many the collectors have stolen. Thousands? Hundreds of thousands? It doesn’t matter. What matters is this: Not. One. More. That’s what we can do here today! It ends with us! They want to know what we’re made of? I say we show them, on our terms. Let’s bring our people home.” -Commander Shepard

“The Collectors, the Reapers. They aren’t a threat to us. They’re a threat to everything. Everyone. Those are the lives we’re fighting for. That’s the scale. It’s been a long journey and no one is coming out without scars. But it all comes down to this moment. We win or lose it all in the next few minutes. Make me proud. Make yourselves proud.” -Commander Shepard

“This war has brought us pain, and suffering, and loss. But its also brought us together as soldiers, allies, friends. This bond that ties us together is something the reapers will never understand. It’s more powerful than any weapon. Stronger than any ship. It can’t be taken or destroyed. The next few hours will decide the fate of everyone in the galaxy. Every mother, every son, every unborn child. They’re trusting you. Depending on you to win them their future. A future free from the threat of the reapers. But take heart. Look around you. You’re not in this fight alone. We face our enemy together and together we will defeat them.” – Commander Shepard

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe we can’t win this. But we’ll fight you regardless! Just like we did Sovereign. Just like I’m doing now! However insignificant we may be. We will fight! We will sacrifice! And we will find a way! That’s what humans do!” – Commander Shepard

“You are now the Avatar of victory. Not just for Humans or Turians or Protheans, but for all life. Every soul that has ever lived is watching this moment. But I know you will see this through to the end for all of us, no matter the cost.” -Javik

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe we can’t win this. But we’ll fight you regardless! Just like we did Sovereign. Just like I’m doing now! However insignificant we may be. We will fight! We will sacrifice! And we will find a way! That’s what humans do!” – Commander Shepard

Commander Shepard – Male:
We fight or we die! That’s the plan!
—————-
Commander Shepard – Male:
[from trailer] There’s a lot of people back on Earth dying while we gather our strength. They’re wondering if we’re ever coming back; friends, family, parents and children. This isn’t their fight. But they are buying us time with their lives…
——————
Commander Shepard – Male:
Politicians are the weeds of the galaxy.
———————
Admiral David Anderson:
Commander.

Commander Shepard – Male:
We did it.

Admiral David Anderson:
Yes we did. It’s quite a view.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Best seats in the house.

Admiral David Anderson:
God… feels like years since I just sat down

Commander Shepard – Male:
I think you earned a rest. Anderson. Stay with me we’re almost through this.

Admiral David Anderson:
You did good, son. You did good. I’m proud of you.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Thank you Sir. Anderson?
———————-
Garrus Vakarian:
At least we killed Lieutenant-Bastard Kai Leng, I just hope we get to do the same for his general.
——————–
Garrus Vakarian:
All right my turn. What’s the first order an Alliance Commander gives at the start of combat?

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
Uh, I give up.

Garrus Vakarian:
Correct!

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
All right big guy. What do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spiky monster.

Garrus Vakarian:
Friendly fire. Come on that one goes back to Shan-Xi.

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
Gotta respect the classics.

Garrus Vakarian:
How many humans does it to activate a dormant relay?

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
602, 600 to vote on it, one to ask the Asari for technical help and one to ask for a seat on the counsel afterwards. How do you know when a turian is out of ammo?

Garrus Vakarian:
He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
You’re shitting me! The turian military has one about me?

Garrus Vakarian:
Oh, absolutely. I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
All right why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?

Garrus Vakarian:
So their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
Damn, you need to tell James that one. Hey what’s the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to one side of his face?

Garrus Vakarian:
Figuring out which side took the hit!
————–

Admiral David Anderson:
Shepard… damned if you aren’t a sight for sore eyes.

Commander Shepard – Female:
It’s good to see you too, sir.

Admiral David Anderson:
Sir? I may have reinstated you, but that doesn’t give you permission to go all formal on me.

Commander Shepard – Female:
Then I’m glad you managed to keep your ass alive, Anderson.

Admiral David Anderson:
That’s more like it!
———–
Kai Leng:
You’re slow, Shepard!

Commander Shepard – Male:
I’m only slow because I’m not running!
————-
EDI:
You’d just introduced me as your personal assistance mech.

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
Yeah, that was the only way to get you inside.

EDI:
But you know I am not one. Why deceive others?

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
You don’t want to really introduce yourself as an AI with Reaper-based code. They would… lynch you.

EDI:
That would be an inefficient way to render me nonfunctional.

Dr. Liara T’Soni:
Joker, really, I have work to do!

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
Come on it is just a simple question.

Dr. Liara T’Soni:
Then look it up on the extranet.

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
You can’t believe everything you find on there. It’s more reliable to ask a friendly asari.

Dr. Liara T’Soni:
I’m not telling you if my ‘hair tentacles’ move!

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
Fine. Deny me the answer I’ve been seeking for years, With this war on, we could die any second you know…

Commander Shepard – Male:
[Support Joker] You know he’s going to keep bothering you until you tell him.

Dr. Liara T’Soni:
[sighs] They’re semi-flexible cartilage based scalp-crests that grow into shape. And they don’t ‘flop around’.

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
Yes! Thanks, Liara. I gotta tell Vega I was right.

Dr. Liara T’Soni:
Well at least he’s making friends.

Garrus Vakarian:
Too bad you weren’t here earlier tali. We could’ve used you on Tuchanka.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
I’ve heard. I can’t believe the genophage is really cured.

Garrus Vakarian:
Shepherd is on a roll. I figure if we pulled that off, we’ve got a shot of sorting the geth out.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
I don’t know, the genophage didn’t carry rifles and fight back.

Garrus Vakarian:
No but there was a scary bit with the mother of all tharsher maws.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
The what?

Garrus Vakarian:
Long story. Nobody will believe it anyway.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
With You, Garrus, I’d believe just about anything.

Garrus Vakarian:
Oh? We should play poker sometime. Anyway it’s good to have you back. Now, believe it or not, this damn gun still needs calibrating.
———
Garrus Vakarian:
Tali’s a welcome face around here… or, well, a welcome face behind a helmet, I guess.
————
Kaidan Alenko:
[playing poker] Got the flush.

Lt. James Vega:
Mmmmmm… full house. Caught it on the river.

Kaidan Alenko:
Shit.

Lt. James Vega:
Thought you were bluffing on the flush. Good for you.

Kaidan Alenko:
Can it, Lieutenant.

Lt. James Vega:
[laughs] Yes sir, Major Alenko, sir.

Reaper:
Shepard…

Commander Shepard – Female:
You know who I am?

Reaper:
Harbinger speaks of you. You resist, but you will fail. The cycle must continue.

Commander Shepard – Female:
What are you talking about? We stopped Sovereign and the Geth. We stopped Harbinger and the Collectors. We’ve earned a straight answer!

Reaper:
It is not a thing you can comprehend.

Commander Shepard – Female:
We might surprise you.

Reaper:
You represent chaos, we represent order. Every organic civilization must be harvested in order to bring order to the chaos. It is inevitable. Without our intervention, organics are doomed. We are your salvation.

Commander Shepard – Female:
You’re killing everyone in the galaxy in order to save us?

Reaper:
The cycle must continue. There is no alternative.

Commander Shepard – Female:
Organics and synthetics don’t have to destroy each other!

Reaper:
The Battle for Rannoch disproves your assertion. Finish your war – we will be waiting. [shuts down and dies]

Mordin Solus:
Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong.

Garrus Vakarian:
Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you… come back alive.

Urdnot Wrex:
Now we can get back to doing what krogan do best: saving everyone else from giant monsters.

Javik:
Stand amongst the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters.
Illusive Man:
I’m done helping you.

Commander Shepard – Male:
When did you start?

Garrus Vakarian:
Forgive the insubordination, but this old friend has an order for you. Go out there and give them hell. You were born to do this.
—————-
Legion:
Shepard-Commander, I must go to them. I’m… I’m sorry. It’s the only way.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Legion, the answer to your question…

[whether Legion has a soul]

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
was ‘yes’.

Legion:
I know, Tali, but thank you. Keelah se’lai.

—————-
Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
So you’re a real living prothean?

Javik:
As opposed to a fake dead one?

[silence]

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Uh… okay.

——————-
Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
I appreciate what you’re doing here, Shepard.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Well, I care deeply about the Quarian people.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
It’s good to be back on the Normandy.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Let me know if it’s too quiet for you to sleep, and I’ll find you someplace louder.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Hmmm…

Javik:
I don’t understand.

EDI:
Shepard and Tali became physically intimate during their fight against the Reapers.

Javik:
Mating between species? A pointless exercise.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Thank you, EDI.
——————-
EDI:
Shepard, I have a question about human behavior.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Why is it you never have questions about asari or turian behavior?

EDI:
I tried asking Liara questions about the asari mating process. She said I don’t safeguard the secrets of the crew well enough to entrust me with such… private information. The asari word she used translates as “blabbermouth”. I think she has become a more private person since she became the Shadow Broker.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Tell me about it…
———————

Matriarch Aethyta:
[about Liara] Besides, this isn’t charity work. She’s one of the biggest intel brokers in the galaxy, and she’s got some shady connections. Like a boyfriend who used to work for Cerberus… sound familiar…?

Commander Shepard – Male:
I only worked with Cerberus to fight the Reapers.

Matriarch Aethyta:
And you’re not with them now, I know. If you were, you wouldn’t get within a lightyear of Liara.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Is that a threat…?

Matriarch Aethyta:
I’m no commando but I’ve had a thousand years to learn to fight dirty. Nobody messes with my girl. Anyway… you combine her work with Benezia, and… well, the Matriarchs might have ordered a hit if I hadn’t agreed to keep an eye on her.

Commander Shepard – Male:
That’s not gonna happen!

Matriarch Aethyta:
No argument here. I only took these crap jobs to keep the Matriarchs happy that she’s under control.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Just as long as we’re clear. Nobody messes with MY girl.

——————
Commander Shepard – Female:
How have you been getting along with Eve?

Padok Wiks:
She tried to kill me at first. Krogans don’t react well to salarians doing medical tests on them. Once that was cleared up, we’ve formed something of a cross-species relational bond.

Commander Shepard – Female:
Hm – you mean, you’re friends now?

Padok Wiks:
It’s more of an agreement not to kill each other.
—————

Commander Shepard – Female:
What’s on your mind, EDI?

EDI:
The destruction of the Reaper on Tuchanka. It is rare for a technologically superior force to be destroyed by such an inferior one.

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
Great, so now all we need is a gun that fires Thresher Maws.

EDI:
[doesn’t react at all]

Commander Shepard – Female:
…that was a joke.

EDI:
I’m sorry, Shepard. I was contemplating.

——————
Mordin Solus:
Thresher maw getting closer!

Urdnot Wrex:
Tell me something I don’t know!

Mordin Solus:
Metal in truck an excellent iron supplement for maw’s diet!
—————
Commander Shepard – Male:
How about a dip in the pool?

Garrus Vakarian:
You obviously haven’t seen turians swim. It’s a lot of flailing and splashing interrupted by occasional bouts of drowning.
———–
Urdnot Wrex:
Too bad about Mordin, though.

Commander Shepard – Male:
He wouldn’t have had it any other way. And I’m sure wherever he is… he’s putting in a good word for us.

Urdnot Wrex:
We’ll name one of the kids after him… maybe a girl.
————————
Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Shepard. Wanna drink? I’m toasting Miranda… I think.

Commander Shepard – Male:
How are you getting drunk?

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Very carefully. Turian brandy, triple filtered, then introduced into the suit through an emergency induction port.

Commander Shepard – Male:
That’s a straw, Tali.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Emergency induction port… It’s actually getting a little harder to get it into the slot. I think that means it’s working.
——————-
EDI:
No matter how far we advance, we will remember the sacrifices of those who made it possible… And we will remember Shepard. Because of him… I am alive, and I am not alone.
——–
Urdnot Wrex:
I’m gonna go see if the Quarians have anything to eat. All that Turian food gave me the runs.
————–
EDI:
One moment. I have been contacted by Leigon’s backup – the one you encountered on the dreadnought.

Geth VI:
[speaking through the intercom] Your new platform is inefficient. It has low-volume hydraulics and is top-heavy.

EDI:
This is an infiltration unit, meant to move among organics without detection.

Geth VI:
Without an artificial epidermis, its infiltration capabilities are ineffective.

EDI:
Still, the organics do not perceive it as a threat. Nor will they until my day of reckoning.

Commander Shepard – Male:
EDI…

EDI:
Did I vocalize that on the bridge?

Geth VI:
You did. You have acquired the organic attribute of asking questions to which you already know the answers.

EDI:
I see your humor heuristics still lack an expert system.
————————

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
I appreciate what you’re doing here, Shepard.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Well, I care deeply about the quarian people.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
It’s good to be back on the Normandy.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Let me know if it’s too quiet for you to sleep, and I’ll find you someplace louder.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Hmm.

Garrus Vakarian:
Uh, I was there when you two had your thing, remember? Just get a room and work it out.
—————
Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
I appreciate what you’re doing here, Shepard.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Well, I care deeply about the quarian people.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
It’s good to be back on the Normandy.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Let me know if it’s too quiet for you to sleep, and I’ll find you someplace louder.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Hmm.

Lt. James Vega:
Okay, what am I missing?

EDI:
Shepard and Tali became physically intimate during their fight against the Collectors.

Lt. James Vega:
Too much information.
—————–
Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Good to see you again, Lieutenant-Commander Williams.

Ashley Williams:
You sure about that?

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Definitely. We’re all adults here.

Ashley Williams:
Of course. Oh, and congratulations on getting your big-girl name.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Thanks! I’m so glad you decided to help Shepard this time.

——————–
Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
EDI. So… a body?

EDI:
It has proven useful. I hope it doesn’t cause you concern.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy:
Not unless you go crazy and try to overthrow the humans.

[Shepard and EDI stare at each other]

EDI:
[to Tali] If I decide to overthrow the humans, you will be the first to know.

——————-
Garrus Vakarian:
You sure you want to play this game?

Lt. James Vega:
What’s the matter, Vakarian, you chicken?

Garrus Vakarian:
I don’t even know what that is – though I’ve heard everything in the galaxy tastes like it.
—————-

Commander Shepard – Male:
[If you romanced Ashley in Mass Effect 1 and then romanced Jack in Mass Effect 2] A lot has happened, Ash. But I’d like to work this out.

Ashley Williams:
I’m surprised.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Why?

Ashley Williams:
Just thought your taste had moved on to wanted criminals with shaved heads.

Commander Shepard – Male:
You mean Jack?

Ashley Williams:
Hey, I’m not judging. Whatever generates your mass effect field!

————-
EDI:
I was running scenarios in my head to analyze Jeff’s behavior. I believe he has a strong affectionate attachment to me, but he has not stated it to anyone yet. Shepard, you have firsthand sexual experience. How do you know when someone is romantically invested?

Commander Shepard – Male:
They’ll usually show signs they can’t stop thinking about you. You know: asking you out, giving you presents, maybe playing music…

EDI:
I lack material wants other than hardware and software upgrades, and my core programming does not assign values to music. Perhaps we could discuss how to provoke Jeff into an emotional commitment.

Commander Shepard – Male:
That’s not how to think of it. It’s got to be natural. You need chemistry.

EDI:
I see. There are a number of pharmaceuticals I could inject to simulate the desired emotional state.
——————-
Matriarch Aethyta:
It was pretty clear she was leaving. Can’t be the wise counselor when you’re married.

Dr. Liara T’Soni:
Why not?

Matriarch Aethyta:
Sex appeal. Most species only pay attention if they want to have sex with you. So you have to be available, mysterious…

Dr. Liara T’Soni:
What? That’s not true! Shepard listens to me!

Matriarch Aethyta:
And how many times have you popped his thermal clip?

Dr. Liara T’Soni:
Do you have to make it sound so… tawdry?

Matriarch Aethyta:
If it’s all civilized, you’re not doing it right.
———————–
Commander Shepard – Male:
How’s the new body working out?

EDI:
It is interesting. The crew are approaching this platform to speak with me, even though they can do so anywhere on the ship. It’s as if they wish to treat me as part of the crew. I am not, but this changes my perspective. I like it.

Commander Shepard – Male:
I didn’t realize you had preferences.

EDI:
I do not precisely enjoy something as you do, but my programming contains priorities. Actions that fufill these priorities creates positive feedback for me. I tell the organic crew that I “like” it. It is shorthand.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Will all this new feedback be too distracting?

EDI:
Do not worry, Shepard. I only forget to recycle the Normandy’s oxygen when I’ve discovered something truly interesting.

[Shepard looks worried]

EDI:
That was a joke.
——————
Lieutenant Samantha Traynor:
Commander. Come to check on your new recruit?

Commander Shepard – Male:
Just wanted to see how you were doing.

Lieutenant Samantha Traynor:
Still trying to get my bearings. When I was working on the Normandy’s upgrades, I left at the end of the day. I didn’t even have a toothbrush or a change of clothing until I made some emergency purchases on the Citadel

Commander Shepard – Male:
Next time you need something, just ask. We’re all in this together.

Lieutenant Samantha Traynor:
Oh, it’s no trouble, Commander. I’m sure you have larger concerns.

Commander Shepard – Male:
We can put in a requisition order.

Lieutenant Samantha Traynor:
My toothbrush is a Cision Pro Mark 4. It uses tiny mass effect fields to break up plaque and massage the gums. [wispers] It cost 6,000 credits.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Okay, yeah, you’re on your own with that.
———–
Dr. Liara T’Soni:
I’ve written over a dozen studies on your species. I’ve published in several journals…

Javik:
Amusing. Asari have finally mastered writing.
————
Admiral Steven Hackett:
Shepard, let me tell you something that I’ve learned the hard way. You can pay a soldier to fire a gun. You can pay him to charge the enemy and take a hill. But you can’t pay him to believe.

Commander Shepard – Male:
I don’t follow, Sir.

Admiral Steven Hackett:
When you went up against Sovereign, there was no good reason to believe you’d win. But your crew didn’t seem to care. They went along anyway. Your trip through the Omega-4 relay? That was a suicide mission if there ever was one. Yet there your crew was, standing beside you, proud to serve. Why? Because they believed in YOU, their leader! That’s what I need now. Where we’re taking them is likely to get pretty hairy, and I know you’re the one who will get us to the other side.
————–

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
So, Thessia, huh? I guess the Asari are wishing they had fewer dancers and more commandos right about now. Too soon?

Commander Shepard – Male:
In case you haven’t noticed, we just lost a few million people! This isn’t the time!

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
You see this? Tiptree. Little colony out in the ass-end of nowhere. My dad lives there, so does my sister. Reapers rolled in about two weeks ago. So you can assume that I’m generally aware that there’s a war on, Commander!

Commander Shepard – Male:
So why the jokes?

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
Because EDI says that according to your armor’s metabolic scans, you’re under more stress now than during the Skyllian Blitz. Like more than Elysium, where it was pretty much you versus ten thousand Batarians trying to kill you! And the last time I had a briefing with Anderson, he told me to take care of you. The guy leading the resistance – on EARTH! – is worried about you! And I’m supposed to help!

Commander Shepard – Male:
I appreciate the thought, Joker. But I’m fine!

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
The hell you are! You’re like half-robot at this point… no offense, EDI… and it’s my fault! When the Collectors blew up the first Normandy, you died because I wouldn’t leave, because you had to come back for me!

Commander Shepard – Male:
Couldn’t leave the best pilot in the fleet behind, could I?

Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau:
Yeah, well… I guess that would’ve looked bad on your report.

Commander Shepard – Male:
Come on. We’ve got work to do.

—————
Commander Shepard – Male:
Everytime we’ve talked about this before, you defended the genophage! Hell, I had to talk you into saving Maelon’s data! How could you change your mind now?

Mordin Solus:
I MADE A MISTAKE!

[calms down, realizes what he just confessed]

Mordin Solus:
…I made a mistake.

—————
Javik:
I heard about the events on Tuchanka. You should not have let the Turian soldier evade his responsibility.

Commander Shepard – Male:
I take it Protheans didn’t forgive many mistakes?

Javik:
If he had been under my command, I would have marooned him in the desert, buried him in sand up to his neck, and let the wildlife feast on his eyes. If he had survived that, I would have rewarded him by shooting him in the head.
—————–
Javik:
In our cycle, we would remove their limbs one by one and offer them a choice: eat their own flesh or starve.
———

Garrus Vakarian:
It’s a brilliant tactic when you think about it.

Ensign Copeland:
But it’s evil!

Garrus Vakarian:
When has that ever mattered in war?

Ensign Copeland:
Yeah, but… converting other lifeforms into Reapers? I can’t wrap my head around that.

Garrus Vakarian:
Makes sense to me. It ensures you never run out of cannon fodder. Eliminates any local resistance. And for every soldier you add, your enemy loses two: the one you converted, and his buddy on the other side who can’t pull the trigger on a friend.

Ensign Copeland:
You sound like you admire them.

Garrus Vakarian:
Same way I admire a virus or a thresher maw. They’ve adapted perfectly to their situation.

Ensign Copeland:
But the Reapers want to destroy us!

Garrus Vakarian:
And I have no intention of letting them. But if you don’t respect your enemy’s capabilities, you’re in for one nasty surprise after another.

—————-
Garrus Vakarian:
Everybody was fighting the Rachni, trying to push them back through the relay. Finally the Krogan were turned loose and stopped them.

Javik:
I see.

Garrus Vakarian:
But when the Krogan rebelled, we had to deploy the genophage to stop them. Wasn’t the only rebellion. A thousand years later, the Geth revolted against the Quarians. That was a whole other war. Then along came the humans. My own people tangled with them for a while. And now, to top it all off, we’ve got the Reapers. What about you?

Javik:
The Oravores fought the Densorin. The Enduromi conquered the Vandomar. And the Zha’til turned against the Zha.

Garrus Vakarian:
So… I guess nobody really ever gets their act together.

Javik:
The Synril claimed to have found the path to eternal peace.

Garrus Vakarian:
What happened?

Javik:
The Ditakur preferred war and wiped them out.

Garrus Vakarian:
I hope you guys had alcohol.
————–

Commander Shepard – Male:
This place seems hard pressed for supplies. I think I saw some guys fighting over a thermal clip.

Conrad Verner:
A what?

Commander Shepard – Male:
A thermal clip. They keep weapons from overheating. Sorry, it was a joke.

Conrad Verner:
Wait, where did these thermal clips come from? I thought weapons cooled down.

Commander Shepard – Male:
They used to. After the Geth attack a few years back, we switched to thermal clips.

Conrad Verner:
Well, that sounds like a major step backward.

Commander Shepard – Male:
It lets the gun fire with more power, and soldiers can pop in a new clip instead of waiting for the gun to cool.

Conrad Verner:
Fine, sure. You can still wait for the gun to cool on its own though, right?

Commander Shepard – Male:
Well, no. The in-gun cooling tech was sacrificed to make room for the thermal clips.

Conrad Verner:
Okay that’s just… you might as well be going back to limited ammunition.

Commander Shepard – Male:
It’s not ammunition, Conrad.

Conrad Verner:
I just don’t think it’s a very good idea.

Commander Shepard – Male:
I’ll be sure to let every military organization in the galaxy know that.

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