150 Mark Twain Quotes That Are Extremely Witty, Intelligent And Shrewd

UNITED STATES - CIRCA 1900: Mark Twain (Photo by Buyenlarge/Getty Images)

Mark Twain quotes that are extremely witty, intelligent and shrewd.There are days when you need to read a few quotes to really understand the meaning of live and work. There are quotes that are spoken by many famous people from various backgrounds and professions and these will surely help you in many ways. There are so many Mark Twain quotes that can help you when you are tired of being in the same old rut, and all you need is a little push, a little inspiration and these quotes will give you just that as they have been spoken by wise people. Luckily, the internet is full of amazing Mark Twain quotes that will make you look at life through new eyes. These Mark Twain quotes will help make your day and you will feel better about yourself, your job and your life.

Mark Twain was born on November 30, in the year, 1835 and he had been a very famous humorist, writer, publisher, lecturer and entrepreneur. Mark Twain’s novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

Mark Twain had been raised in Hannibal, and this was his setting for Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn as well. Mark Twain had served an apprenticeship with a printer, and he had gone on to work as a typesetter. Mark Twain had contributed many articles to the newspaper of Orion Clemens. Mark Twain had then become a riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River, and then Mark Twain had headed west and joined Orion in Nevada. Mark Twain has referred to his lack of success at mining and eventually turning to journalism for the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise. Mark Twain’s humorous story known as “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County” had been published in the year, 1865, and this had been based on a story which  Mark Twain had heard at Angels Hotel in Angels Camp. This short story had brought a lot of international attention and had been translated into French as well.

Mark Twain had also earned a lot of money from all his writings and lectures, but Mark Twain had invested in ventures and lost most of it like Paige Compositor, a mechanical typesetter which had failed because of complexity and imprecision.

So many personalities across the world have spoken words of wisdom and these have become household quotes in schools and homes. Mark Twain quotes have helped many across the world who have been looking for inspiration and motivation.  Mark Twain has been quoted saying a lot of wise things that have surprised many because of his high level of intellect and method of thinking. As you go through these Mark Twain quotes, you will become a new person and will realise what life is really all about. The phrasing of the statements contributes to a lot to the effectiveness of the quotes and a study conducted in the year, 2000 had proven that when people were shown two statements of the same saying, the participants said that preferred the rhyming aphorism quotes.Mark Twain quotes are just like these so you will surely love them.

Mark Twain has really been through a lot of situations in life and so, these quotes crop up form real life experiences. Mark Twain quotes have been said after many years of experience and struggles and so you can always apply them to your life and your situations and try and make a better future for yourself. These Mark Twain quotes will help you in renewing your spirit and mind in ways you have never imagined. As you scroll down the page and read these Mark Twain quotes, be ready to see a new you, because these quotes are more than just words, they are magic and the truth of life that will change the way you think. So, here we have for you some Mark Twain quotes which will paint a new picture of life for you.

1.”Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

UNITED STATES - CIRCA 1900: Mark Twain (Photo by Buyenlarge/Getty Images)

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2.”If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

Mark Twain Popular Quotes

3.“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.”

Mark Twain Saying

4.“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

Mark Twain Best Quotes

5.“A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.”

Mark Twain Famous Quotes

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6.”Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

7.”You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

8.”Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.”

9.”The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

10.”Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”

11.”Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

12.”Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”

13.”The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

14.”A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

15.”Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

16.”Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

17.”Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn’t.”

18.”Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”

19.”Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”

20.”Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

21.”If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”

22.”Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

23.”If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re misinformed.”

24.”Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear.”

25.”Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”

26.”A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”

27.”It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

28.”The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

29.”Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.”

30.”Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

31.”Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

32.”Looking for the best Mark Twain quotes? We’ve compiled a list of the top 80 most inspiring Twain quotes on life, happiness, success and more.”

33.“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

34.“The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.”

35.“With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.”

36.“Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.”

37.“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

38.“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life.”

39.“The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

40.“Do something every day that you don’t want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”

41.“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.”

42.“It is wiser to find out than suppose.”

43.“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

44.“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked.”

45.“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”

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46.“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

47.“Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one’s head.”

48.“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”

49.“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

50.“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others.”

51.“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

52.“The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.”

53.“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”

54“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

55.“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

56.“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”

57.“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

58.“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

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59.“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”

60.“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”

61.“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

62.“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

63.“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”

64.“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.”

65.“Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.”

66.“I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping.”

67.“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”

68.“Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.”

69.“Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.”

70.“Explore. Dream. Discover.”

71.“A good marriage is the union of the two good forgiveness”- Mark Twain funny life quotes.

72.“When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction”

73.“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection”

74.“A Christian is a person who wants to give up great things in a real life, for mediocre things is an an imaginary one, more importantly, they demand you do the same.”

75.“To succeed in life, you need two things ignorance and confidence.”

76.“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”

77.“Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.”

78.“Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.”

79.“It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”

80.”Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.”

81.”All generalizations are false, including this one.”

82.”Be good and you will be lonesome.”

83.”Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.”

84.”Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

85.”Necessity is the mother of taking chances.”

86.”How empty is theory in the presence of fact!”

87.”The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.”

88.”Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other.”

89.”Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.”

90.”Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead.”

91.”One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare.”

92.”Classic: A book which people praise and don’t read.”

93.”Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial ‘we.’”

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94.”Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”

95.”The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

96.”Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.”

97.“Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.”

98.“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” Mark Twain

99.“Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.” Mark Twain

100.“Break the rules.” Mark Twain

101.“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did.” Mark Twain

102.”I’ve seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.”

103.”When we think of friends, and call their faces out of the shadows, and their voices out of the echoes that faint along the corridors of memory, and do it without knowing why save that we love to do it, we content ourselves that that friendship is a Reality, and not a Fancy–that it is builded upon a rock, and not upon the sands that dissolve away with the ebbing tides and carry their monuments with them.”

104.”There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.”

105.”Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”

106.”Honesty: The best of all the lost arts.”

107.”An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere.”

108.”Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.”

109.”Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.”

110.”The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”

111.”Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

112.”Drag your thoughts away from your troubles – by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

113.”Humor must not professedly teach, and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.”

114.”A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.”

115.”Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.”

116.”As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.”

117.”The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

118.”You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

119.”Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.”

120.”The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

121.”Humans beings can be awful cruel to one another.”

122.”Name the greatest of all the inventors. Accident.”

123.”A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”

124.”Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

125.”Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”

126.“Get your facts first, then you can distort them.”

127.“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

128.“I don’t remember my first lie; I was too young. But I do remember my second.”

129.“Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.”

130.“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

131.“When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.”

132.“A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.”

133.“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”

134.”In the first place, God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards.”

135.”Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.”

136.”God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”

137.”I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”

138.”Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.”

139.”Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.”

140.”He could not lie; I can, but I won’t.”

141.”The silent colossal National Lie that is the support and confederate of all the tyrannies and shams and inequalities and unfairnesses that afflict the peoples — that is the one to throw bricks and sermons at.”

142.”A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”

143.”A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.”

144.”The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.”

145.”Troubles are only mental; it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can forget them, banish them, abolish them.”

146.”If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”

147.”The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

148.”Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.”

149.”It is easier to stay out than get out.”

150.”Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”


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