120+ Lloyd Christmas Quotes From Dumb & Dumber Movie


These Lloyd Christmas quotes from Men in Black movie. There are so many Lloyd Christmas quotes that can help you when you are tired of being in the same old rut, and all you need is a little push, a little inspiration, a smile on the face, change of mood, bring you out of the banality of life, make you laugh a little, or may even make you cry a bit, and these Lloyd Christmas quotes exists just do that.

Lloyd Virgil Christmas is a previous limousine driver from Providence. He is flat mates and closest companions with Harry Dunne and his tooth is broken fifty-fifty. He is the principle hero of the 1994 film Dumb and Dumber alongside Harry Dunne. Counting the mid-1990s animation Dumb and Dumber: The Animated Series, the 2003 prequel Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd and the 2014 spin-off Dumb and Dumber To.

The wacky, feisty Lloyd Christmas is about a year more youthful than Harry, so he would’ve been conceived in 1970. He was received by a secondary school janitor named Ray. He met Harry in secondary school in the year 1986. In 1994, Lloyd was joined by his flat mate and closest companion Harry Dunne to convey a folder case to Mary Swanson. After twenty years, he and Harry would venture to every part of the nation again looking for Harry’s potential missing girl.

Lloyd Virgil Christmas is a good natured, decided, however an appallingly juvenile, thick, boisterous, grating, vituperative, contumelious, and unsavory man with an amazingly low insight. This attractive brunette man of his word once in a while demonstrates a serious savage, snakey, shabby, and wrathful streak, similar to when he offered a dead parakeet to Billy and when he spiked Harry’s beverage with purgative.

There were likewise times when he demonstrated some insight, for example when he deceived Sea Bass utilizing a procedure he found in a motion picture, but not recollecting that the characters in that film got their throats cut. Lloyd, however not actually purposeful given his ineptitude and numbness of social standards, can be inexcusably impolite and obtuse on occasion hit or miss.

Lloyd overestimates himself gigantically. In his fantasy successions, he trusts himself amazingly beguiling and sentimental. He likewise trusted himself incredibly talented in hand to hand fighting. His idiocy and absence of presence of mind can at times lead to horrendous mishaps, most prominently the demise of his companion Peter Stainer. Lloyd additionally happens to have an entirely nonsensical and shallow thought of ladies. As when Harry said he was going to set him up with a lady his own age, Lloyd said “My Age? Net!”

Like his closest companion, Harry, Lloyd is additionally disgracefully uninformed of most unavoidable truths that apply to everyone as he accepted essentially man taking care of a lady would get her pregnant with no piece of information how infants are made until his mid-40s. He is totally unequipped for settling on savvy choices since he exchanged the van for a scaled down bicycle. He is likewise unfit to peruse. For instance, in the wake of discovering Mary Swanson in the paper, he couldn’t peruse out the easiest words.

We have dug up these Lloyd Christmas quotes from the depths of the internet and brought together best of these sayings in a single article. This post is probably the biggest database of Lloyd Christmas Sayings in a single place. These famous Lloyd Christmas quotes have the power to change your life by giving a novel outlook about the way you observe different aspects of your life. Hence, these popular Lloyd Christmas quotes should be read with caution and proper understanding of the context. Here are tons of Lloyd Christmas quotes that will open a treasure chest of Wisdom and experiences: –

“Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?”

Lloyd Christmas best quotes

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“This didn’t come out of our travel fund.”

Lloyd Christmas famous quotes

“Yeah, I was able to raise 25 extra bucks before we left.”

Lloyd Christmas popular quotes “Maybe you should wear these extra gloves.”

“Mary, I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.”

Lloyd Christmas saying

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“[after hearing of Petey’s death] That’s it. I’ve had it with this dump! We’ve got no food, we got no jobs,… our pets’ HEADS ARE FALLIN’ OFF!!!”

“Life’s a fragile thing, Harr. One minute you’re chewin’ on a burger, and the next minute you’re dead meat.”

“Hey. Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? [makes a loud, weird noise]”

“(pretends to promote Turbo Lax) One half teaspoon, for fast, effective relief.”

“You know what I’m sick and tired of, Harry? I’m sick and tired of having to eke my way through life. I’m sick and tired of bein’ a nobody. (pause) But most
of all,… I’m sick and tired of havin’ nobody.”

“(about a passing woman at the preservation society) I’d like to eat her liver with some “farver” beans and a nice bottle of chianti! (he and Harry imitate
Hannibal Lecter)”

“Tic-Tac, sir?”

“Hey, guys. Whoa, Big Gulps, huh? All right! Well, see you later.”

“[sees framed newspaper article about moon landing] No, way! That’s great.”


“Husband? Wait a minute. What was all that “one in a million” talk?”

“[takes off gloves over another pair of gloves] My hands are starting to get sweaty.”

“[obliviously] Yeah, we’re in the Rockies!”

“Excuse me, little old lady. Do you have change for a dollar?”

“Well, can you do me a favor and watch my stuff here while I go break a dollar?”

“Thanks. Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I’ll be right back. Don’t you go dying on me.”

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“I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn’t even see it coming.”

“Come on, Harry.”

“Oh, man, I’m sorry. What happened?”

“His head fell off?”

“Saw it in a movie once.”

“No, in the movie, they catch up to him half mile down the road and slit his throat!”

“Ha ha ha! It was a good one.”

“What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town!”

“I’ll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.”

“I want to ask you a question, straight out, flat out, and I want you to give me the honest answer. What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?”

“Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you Mary, just… The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?”

“[he gulps, his mouth twitching] You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?”

“[long pause while he processes what he’s heard] So you’re telling me there’s a chance. YEAH!”

“It’s OK, I’m a limo driver!”

“I bought them when we filled up.”

“I sold some stuff, to Billy in 4C.”

“I don’t know, stuff. A few baseball cards, a sack of marbles,”

“Harry, I took care of it…”

“This isn’t my real job, you know.”

“Nope. My friend Harry and I are saving up to open our own pet store.”

“I got worms!”

“That’s what we’re gonna call it. “I Got Worms!” We’re gonna specialize in selling worm farms. You know, like ant farms.”

“They got the Monkees. They were a major influence on the Beatles.”

“If I know Mary as well as I think I do, she’ll invite us right in for tea and strumpets.”

“What’s the matter, Har? Some little filly break your heart?”

“We used to be best friends.”

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“Me, a back-stabber? You got a lot of nerve. You knew I was crazy about her!”

“[gasps] What do you mean?”

“You said it, pal. Maybe we’re not as good of friends as we thought. I mean, if one beautiful girl can rip us apart like this, then maybe our friendship isn’t worth a damn. Maybe we should call it quits right now.”

“Right on my ass after you kiss it!”

“I’m only human, Harry! Come on! Stop being a baby. So we backtracked a tad.”

“Well, it’s not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it. We’re in a hole. We’re just going to have to dig ourselves out.”

“[Harry is choking him barehanded on a picnic table in Aspen] Harry, your hands are freezing!”

“Yeah, he must work out.”

“It’s a love memento. The most beautiful woman alive. I drove her to the airport. Sparks flew. Emotions ran high. She actually talked to me, man.”

“Oh, yeah. Tractor beam.”

“[imitates beam noise]”

“Sucked me right in. Anyway, she left this in the terminal and flew to Aspen and outta my life.”

“Man. I would have to be a lowlife to go routin’ around in somebody else’s private property.”

“Yeah, really well.”

“So where are you headin’?”

“Hmmm, California! Beautiful!”

“There’s really nothing to worry about Mary. Statistically, they say you’re more likely to get killed on the way to the airport. You know, like on a head on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck! That’s the worst! I have this cousin, well y’know, I had this cousin…”

“Oh, yeah! Good thinking. You can’t be too careful. There are a lot of bad drivers out there.”

“Okay, kill him!”

“I get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog.”

“Listen, Mr. Samsonite, about the briefcase, my friend Harry and I have every intention of fully reimbursing you.”

“[Motioning to Mary] Go ahead, open it up. Do what he says. Hurry.”

“That’s as good as money, sir. Those are I.O.U.’s. Go ahead and add it up, every cent’s accounted for. Look, see this? That’s a car. 275 thou. Might wanna hang onto that one.”

“Man, I would have to be a real lowlife to go rooting around in someone else’s private property.”

“Yeah. Really well.”

“I said, “Do you love me?” and she said, “No, but that’s a really nice ski mask.”

“[after Harry saves his life] Harry, you’re alive. And a horrible shot!”

“[while telling Harry what to tell Mary about himself] Tell her I’m rich, and I’m good looking, and I have, uh, a rapist’s wit.”

“Radio? Who needs a radio? Ready, Harry?”

“Boy, this party really died.”

“The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I’d do anything to bone her.”

“Suck me sideways.”

“[Lloyd and Harry stop to pick up Joe Mentalino, who is there to kill them] We don’t usually pick up hitchhikers. But I’m-a gonna go with my instincts on this one. Saddle up, partner! She actually talked to me.”

“[after a confrontation with Sea Bass] You really wimped out, man.”

“Excuse me. Could you tell me how to get to the medical school? I’m supposed to be giving a lecture in 20 minutes, and my driver’s a bit lost.”

“[Opening the door on Nicholas Andre, who he thinks is a hotel employee] We have plenty of towels – thanks!”

“Okay. You go first.”

“You go first!”

“That sounds like a dare, Har.”

“All we need to do is show a little class, a little sophistication, and we’re in like a dirty shirt.”

“I’d like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice bottle of Chianti.”

“Life is a fragile thing, Har. One minute you’re chewin’ on a burger, the next minute you’re dead meat.”

“Not if you count the gurgling sound.”

“[to Harry] How about you go over and introduce yourself, build me up, that way I don’t have to brag about myself later.”

“I-I didn’t really have a-a lot to do… and I know how frustrating it can be to lose a bag.”

“[after getting off the moped with Harry frozen to his back] Got a little nippy going through the pass, huh, Har?”

“This is the life… cold beer, a hot tub and paper-thin walls. There’s only one thing that could make this moment any better.”

“If you had a nice set of knockers.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a good thing you’re not stacked, Harry, or I’d be banging you right now. I’d show you what a real man can do. Split you like an old piece of firewood. You’d probably like it too, you big homo.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up, woman.”

“Mary Christmas. Mrs. Mary Christmas. Kinda catchy, huh, Harr?”

“[stern voice] Hey! Don’t you ever say that again! She is the love of my life! The blood in my veins! We belong together till the mountains fall into the sea, till the heavens collide! Or until I get sick of her and need to move on. You hear me?”

“[Lloyd and Harry just sabotaged his burger with atomic peppers and are snickering] Why don’t you eat up, and we’ll tell ya.”

“[suspiciously] Did you pay the gas bill?”

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“Do you realize what you’ve done?”

“Let me ask you something. Do you want to end up like Petey? Dead? In some flea-ridden apartment? Face down in your own droppings? A soggy sunflower seed pressed against your beak? Come on, Harry! Don’t you see what Petey was trying to say to you? You got to take life by the balls! Chew it up and spit it out! Dance to the tune of a different drummer! Spread your wings and fly and run and jump! God, help me!”


“[as he leaves a convenience store, Lloyd encounters two black guys] Hey, guys. Oh, Big Gulps, huh? All right… Well, see you later!”

“He’s resisting me!”

“Pills! Pills are good! Pills are good!”

“Check, please.”

“Sucker of big, brown dirty eggs.”

“Fried teeth-licker of salmon fried fish!”

“Raider of the Lost Fart!”

“Licker of dirty chicken butts.”

“Masterbatorio… er, soiler of towels.”

“Excuse me, Flo?”

“Flo, like the TV show. Uh, what is the Soup Du Jour?”

“Mmmm. That sounds good. I’ll have that.”

“No and I don’t – CARE!”

“You spilled the salt, that’s what’s the matter! Spilling the salt is very bad luck! We’re driving across the country, the last thing we need is bad luck. Quick, toss some salt over your right shoulder.”

“I can’t stop once I stop going Harry! It stings…”

“Some people just aren’t cut out for life on the road.”

“Excuse me, gunman. Who are you?”


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