70+ Lesbian Jokes You Can Relate To

popular lesbian jokes

In a world of confusion and misunderstanding that often stresses out, we have only one recourse that will pull us out from such miseries! Wondering what is it? Very simple! They are nothing else but Jokes! The very word joke can make us forget about the world we are in and at the same time enable us to lead a happy life! But wait, have you heard about Lesbian jokes? If not here is your chance!

Keeping in view of the trend and popularity associated with women jokes, we have compiled 70+ Lesbian Jokes That You Can Relate To! Not alone that, these jokes will also leave you in a pool of laugh and joy in no time!

Ready to uncover them?

The word lesbian is gotten from the name of the Greek island of Lesbos, home to the sixth century BCE artist Sappho. From different antiquated compositions, history specialists assembled that a gathering of young ladies were left in Sappho’s charge for their guidance or social illumination.

Little of Sappho’s verse endures, yet her outstanding verse mirrors the themes she expounded on: ladies’ everyday lives, their connections, and ceremonies. She concentrated on the magnificence of ladies and declared her adoration for young ladies.

Before the mid-nineteenth century, the word lesbian alluded to any subsidiary or part of Lesbos, including a sort of wine. In Algernon Charles Swinburne’s 1866 sonnet Sapphics, the term lesbian shows up twice yet promoted the multiple times after twice referencing the island of Lesbos, thus could be understood to signify ‘from the island of Lesbos’.

In 1875, George Saintsbury, recorded as a hard copy about Baudelaire’s verse, alludes to his “Lesbian investigations” in which he incorporates his sonnet about “the energy of Delphine” which is a ballad basically about adoration between two ladies which doesn’t make reference to the island of Lesbos, however the other lyric insinuated, entitled “Lesbos”, does.

Lesbianism, to depict sexual connections between ladies, had been recorded in 1870. In 1890, the term lesbian was utilized in a therapeutic word reference as a descriptor to depict tribalism (as “lesbian love”).

The terms lesbian, upset and gay were exchangeable with sapphist and sapphism around the turn of the twentieth century. The utilization of lesbian in therapeutic writing wound up noticeable; by 1925, the word was recorded as a thing to mean what could be compared to a homosexual.

The advancement of restorative information was a critical factor in further undertones of the term lesbian. In the nineteenth century, medicinal essayists endeavored to set up approaches to recognize male homosexuality, which was viewed as a huge social issue in most Western social orders.

In ordering conduct that showed what was alluded to as “reversal” by German sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld, scientists arranged what was ordinary sexual conduct for people, and thusly to what degree people differed from the “flawless male sexual sort” and the “impeccable female sexual sort”.

So, the next time if you want a break, just read these 70+ Lesbian Jokes You Can Relate To for a fun filled experience!

Q: How do lesbian couples settle their differences?
A: Rock Paper Scissoring.

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Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
A: “I’ll see you next month.”

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Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.

Red theater curtain isolated on white background

Q: what do you call two lesbians floating down a river
A: Fur Traders

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Q: What does Santa get a lesbian for Christmas?
A: A new carpet to munch on.

popular lesbian jokes

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Q: What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A: Well hung.

Q: Whats the difference between a lesbian driving in the fog and eating pussy?
A: When u are eating pussy you can still see the asshole in front of you!

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men. The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently HD was the wrong answer.

Q: What do you call lesbian twins?
A: Lick-a-likes.

Q: Why is did the lesbian build a shelf?
A: To hold her shoulders.

Q: What is a lesbians favorite drink?
A: LGB-Tea.

Q: Do you know why lesbians don’t diet?
A: Because you can’t eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face.

Q: Why was the lesbian sick?
A: She was lacking vitamin D

Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience

Q: Why don’t fem lesbians go on dates?
A: Because it’s hard to eat Jenny Craig when you’ve got Mary Kay on your face.

Q: What is the most common allergen amongst lesbians?
A: Nuts!

Q: Have you heard about the new lesbian style of running shoe: the dykee?
A: It has an extra long tongue and only takes one finger to get it off.

Q: What’s the difference between a lesbian and a ritz cracker?
A: One’s a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.

Q: What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A: Gaylick

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Q: Have you heard about the new lesbian cereal?
A: All’s you do is add milk and they eat themselves!

Q: What’s the most important question on the minds of Alaskan lesbians?
A: What would ya do oh oh for a Klondyke bar?

Q: What do you call a lesbian’s closet?
A: A lick-her cabinet.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with 100 semiautomatic rifles?
A: Militia Etheridge.

Q: Did anybody hear about that new cough medicine for lesbians?
A: Dyquil!!

Q: What do you call three lesbians in a closet?
A: A Licker cabinet

Q: What do lesbians call viagra?
A: Batteries

Q: Did you hear Ellen DeGeneres died?
A: They found her face down in Ricki Lake.

Q: What card game do lesbians play?
A: Poke-her

Q: What do you call a horny lesbian dinosaur?
A: A clitosaurus

Q: why did the lesbian refuse to give her girlfriend a high five?
A: she wanted to preserve her palm.

Q: To be legally married, a male and female need a marriage license. What do two lesbians need?
A: A Licker-license!

Q: What does a lesbian want for christmas more than anything else?
A: a brand new carpet to munch on.

Q: What is the leading cause in death with lesbians?
A: Hairballs.

Q: Why are lesbians lousy construction workers?
A: They don’t know how to handle wood.

Q: Where can you find a penis on a lesbian?
A: Maybe you should ask Dick van Dyke.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
A: Single!

Q: What do you call two lesbians on their period?
A: Finger Painting

Q: What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?
A: Depends

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Q: Why can’t lesbians go on a diet and wear lipstick at the same time?
A: You can’t eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face!

Q: What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
A: Toys for Twats

Q: Did you here about the two lesbians that built a house?
A: It was all tongue and groove and not a stud in sight.

Q: What do you call a 300 pound lesbian?
A: A bush hog

Q: What Is A Lesbians Favorite Game?
A: Lick-tac-toe.

Q: What do you call a 100 pound lesbian?
A: A weedeater

Q: What did one lesbian say to another?
A: “Your face or mine?”

Q: Do you know why oysters increase lesbian sexual libido?
A: Because after eating a dozen oysters, pussy doesn’t taste so bad!

Q: Why do lesbians shave there vaginas?
A: So they don’t start a fire grinding.

Q: What kind of humor do lesbians like?
A: Tongue in cheek.

Q: Did you know that 33% of people think that they’re bisexual?
A: It’s like you are or your aren’t, you cant have it both ways.

Q: What’s the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker?
A: Ones a snack cracker, and the others a crack snacker!

Q: What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
A: two can chew!

Q: What is the definition of confusion?
A: 3 blind lesbians in a fish market.

Q: How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar?
A: Even the pool table has no balls.

Q: Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends?
A: Someone has to mow the yard.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with 1,000 semiautomatic rifles?
A: Militia etheridge

Q: What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a lesbian?
A: You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: a Lickalotapus

Q: why do lesbians suck at cooking?
A: they always eat out

Q: What drives a lesbian up the wall?
A: A crack in the ceiling.

Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.

Q: What is the difference between a Wheat Thin and a lesbian?
A: One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.

What do you call a lesbian with long nails? Single!

Straighteners are not worth any money at all! I’ve been using one for three weeks and guess what? I’m still very much a lesbian!

One time, my girlfriend said to me that her period was late. For one second, I definitely thought that I had gotten her pregnant but then I remembered: we are lesbians!

There are horrible double standards between men and women nowadays! For example, when a man gets to sleep with many women he is called a “player”. When I do it, I’m a lesbian! Can you believe that?

This is a tragedy! My girlfriend has not texted me in three hours! In Lesbian Time, this is about six months!

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Freak scissoring accident results in local lesbian being cut in half.

You cannot spell disappointment without men!

Whenever I go to dinner with a girl, the waiter asks “are the checks separate or together?”. I always assume that he means “Are you lesbians or just friends?”.

What is it like being in a lesbian relationship? We are good now. We talked and cried a lot and then had a really good sex.

Is it bad that whenever a lesbian couple gets engaged I just want to know how long they’ve been together for? I feel like it’s either three months or seven years and there’s no in-between.

Why do all lesbians have cats as house pets? Because they love pussy!

Have you ever heard the children’s story of a small Dutch lesbian who saved her community from flooding… by placing her finger in a hole in a dike?

An old cowboy, dressed in a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs, and chaps went to a bar, sat down, and ordered a drink. As he was sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, “Are you a real cowboy?” To which he replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, and mending fences, so I reckon I am.” After a short while, he asked her what she was. She replied, “I’ve never been on a ranch so I’m not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think of women. When I eat, shower, watch TV. Everything seems to make me think of women.” A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?” To which he replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out that I’m a lesbian.

Two women were playing golf together. They arrive at a par 3. The first one up hits her shot straight and leaves the ball on the green. The second woman takes a solid swing and leaves her ball one centimeter from the first ball. The other woman says “Wow! I’ve never seen two balls so close before.”
15. Two lesbians turn in for the night. One lesbian turns to the other and says. “I want to be frank with you.” The other lesbian says “I thought it was my turn, to be frank.”


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