100+ Juno MacGuff Quotes From Juno That You Just Cannot Miss

0
17
Juno MacGuff saying

Juno MacGuff quotes that you just cannot miss. There are so many Juno MacGuff quotes that can help you when you are tired of being in the same old rut, and all you need is a little push, a little inspiration, a smile on the face, change of mood, bring you out of the banality of life, make you laugh a little, or may even make you cry a bit, and these Juno MacGuff quotes exists just do that.

Juno MacGuff is a character in the movie, Juno, and she is a 16 year old girl and is from St. Paul, Minnesota. When the film starts, Juno MacGuff is pregnant with her very first child, through a one-night stand with her friend, Paulie Bleeker. Juno MacGuff has been played by Ellen Page. Juno MacGuff is outgoing, and she has a strong and memorable personality. A few of Juno MacGuff’s interests include Sunny D, and also talking to her best friend named, Leah on her phone. Juno MacGuff has cherry panties as well. Juno MacGuff had learned that she was pregnant with a child fathered by Paulie Bleeker. While Juno MacGuff had wanted to have an abortion, Juno MacGuff decides to make a plan for giving the child up for adoption. With a lot of help from Juno MacGuff’s friend Leah, she searches the ads in the Pennysaver and also finds a couple that Juno MacGuff feels would provide good home for her. Juno MacGuff then decides to come clean with her father, Mac and stepmother.

We have dug up these Juno MacGuff quotes from the depths of the internet and brought together best of these sayings in a single article. This post is probably the biggest database of Juno MacGuff Sayings in a single place. These famous Juno MacGuff quotes have the power to change your life by giving a novel outlook about the way you observe different aspects of your life. Hence, these popular Juno MacGuff quotes should be read with caution and proper understanding of the context. Here are tons of Juno MacGuff quotes that will open a treasure chest of Wisdom and experiences:

“Yeah, I’m a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.”

Juno MacGuff best quotes

RELATED: 100+ Walter Sobchak Quotes From The Big Lebowski Movie

“I’m going to go to Women Now, because they help women now.”

Juno MacGuff famous quotes

“What is with you rich people and your herb-infused juices?”

Juno MacGuff popular quotes

“Silencio, old man. Look, I drank my weight in Sunny D and I gotta go pronto.”

Juno MacGuff quotes

“This is the most magnificent discarded living room set I’ve ever seen.”

Juno MacGuff saying

RELATED: 100+ Selene Quotes From Underworld Universe Movie

“Hold on — I’m on my hamburger phone.”

“It started with a chair.”

“It ended with a chair.”

“When I see them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don’t want to. All I see are pork swords.”

“I think I’m just going to nip it in the bud, you know, before it gets worse. ‘Cause you know, they say pregnancy can often lead to, you know — an infant.”

“Hi, I’m calling to procure a hasty abortion…”

“I don’t know, I just wanted something a little more edgier. I was thinking more like graphic designer, mid-thirties, you know? With a cool Asian girlfriend, who, like dresses awesome and rocks out on the bass guitar. But I don’t want to be too particular.”

“Bleeker is actually great in…in chair.”

“My dad used to be in the Army, but now he’s just your average H-VAC specialist. He and my mom got divorced when I was five and now she lives on a Havasu reservation in Arizona with her new husband and three replacement kids. Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine’s Day. And I’m like, “Thanks a heap, Coyote Ugly, this cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.”

“That’s my stepmom, Bren. She’s completely obsessed with dogs, owns a nail salon, and always smells like methyl methacrylate.”

RELATED: 40+ George McFly Quotes From Back To The Future Part

“You should’ve gone to China, you know, ’cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.”

“You should try talking to it. ‘Cause, like, supposedly they can hear you even though it’s all, like, ten thousand leagues under the sea.”

“As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni.”

“My axe is named Roosevelt. After Franklin, not Ted. Franklin was the hot one with the polio.”

“Yeah, you just take Soupy Sales to prom. I can think of so many cooler things to do that night. Like, you know what Bleek? I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren’s dumb Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? ‘Cause all those things would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you!”

“I never realize how much I like being home unless I’ve been somewhere really different for a while.”

“The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo secretly wants me. Jocks like him always want freaky girls. Girls with horn-rimmed glasses and vegan footwear and Goth makeup. Girls who play the cello and wear Converse All-Stars and want to be children’s librarians when they grow up. Oh yeah, jocks totally eat that shit up. They just won’t admit it because they’re supposed to be into perfect cheerleaders like Leah, who, incidentally, is into teachers.”

“Yes, hello? I need to procure a hasty abortion?… What was that? I’m sorry, I’m on my hamburger phone. It’s kind of awkward to talk on. It’s really more of a novelty than a functional appliance.”

“My stepmom, Bren, makes me eat super healthy, you know? I can’t stand in front of the microwave, and no red M&Ms. I hope you’re ready.”

“[to a barking dog] Jeez, Bananas, shut your freakin’ gob, OK?”

“WOAH, dream big!”

“Bren, use a dick! I love it!”

“Get a whiff of those sparkling topnotes!”

“Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you’ve got in your stomach is Taco Bell.”

“Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I’m guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.”

“Yeesh, they sound like a cult, is what the sound like! And besides they already have three kids. They’re just like greedy little bitches!”

“My dad had this weird obsession with Roman or Greek mythology or something and he decided to name me after Zeus’ wife.”

“Yeah and I mean Zeus had tons of lays but I’m pretty sure Juno was his only wife. And apparently she was supposed to be super beautiful but really mean, like Diana Ross.”

“This is the most magnificent discarded living room set I’ve ever seen.”

“[When Mark shows Juno one of his old comic books] “Most Fruitful Yuki”? What is… Oh my god, she’s a pregnant superhero!””

“Wow, I actually feel like less of a fat dork now.”

“Oh, *wicked* pic in the PennySaver, by the way. Super classy – not like those people with the fake woods in the background. Honestly who do they think they’re fooling?”

“I’m a junior.”

“Who’s ready for some chromo magnificence?”

“It’s my pleasure.”

“…I’ve actually heard the the snow peak peach flavor is the best flavor of Boone’s.”

“Isn’t that… right, bleak?”

“[V.O] Orange Tic-Tacs are Bleeker’s one and only vice. When we made out, the day I got pregnant, his mouth tasted really tangy and delicious.”

“Hi, I’m calling to procure a hasty abortion…”

“I’m not crying, I’m just allergic to fine home furnishing.”

“Your little girlfriend gave me the stinkeye in art class yesterday.”

“I’ll handle this. I’m really good at defusing mom-type rage.”

“Yeah, I’m a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.”

“Um it’s coming up on the eighth. You should see me naked.”

“Trust me, you don’t. I actually have to wear a bra now and I have to rub this nasty cocoa butter stuff all over myself or my skin could get stretched too far and explode.”

“[showing ultrasound photo] It’s a baby. It’s your baby. It kinda looks like it’s waving, you know, like it’s saying, “Hey Vanessa, will you be my mom?”

“Well, I should just… I was thinking I’d just nip it in the bud before it gets worse. Because they were talking about in health class how pregnancy… It can often lead to an infant.”

“I’m not ready to be a mom.”

“God, that was *one* time! And she did not die, if you recall.”

“Yeah, I-I know. Ummm… no, I’m going to go to Women Now, just cause they help out “women now.”

“They were Mark and Vanessa Loring. And they were beautiful even in black and white.”

“It started with a chair.”

RELATED: 100+ Roger Murtaugh Quotes From The Lethal Weapon Movie

“So, I’ve been spending a lot of time listening to that weird CD you made me.”

“I sort of like it. I mean, it’s cute.”

“Well, when you’re used to the raw power of Iggy and the Stooges, everything else sounds kind of precious by comparison.”

“[dog barking] Geez, Banana! Shut your freakin’ gob!”

“You should try talking to it. ‘Cause, like, supposedly they can hear you even though it’s all, like, ten-thousand leagues under the sea.”

“I need to know that it’s possible that two people can stay happy together forever.”

“It ended with a chair.”

“I am giving you the gift of life, screaming, pooping life, and you don’t even have to be there when it comes out all covered in blood and guts”

“Nuh-uh, 1977! Punk Volume 1. You weren’t there, so you can’t understand the magic.”

“Silencio, Old Man!”

“The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo secretly wants me. Jocks like him always want freaky girls. Girls with horn-rimmed glasses and vegan footwear and Goth makeup. Girls who play the cello and wear Converse All-Stars and want to be children’s librarians when they grow up. Oh yeah, jocks eat that shit up.”

“They just won’t admit it, because they’re supposed to be into perfect cheerleaders like Leah. Who, incidentally, is into teachers.”

“Oh, what’s another ten pounds?”

“So guess what.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“I could like, have this baby and give it to someone who like totally needs it.”

“They have ads for parents?”

“…Um, yeah, that was me.”

“…Well you know, because they’re your fav – and I figured you could never have enough of your favorite one calorie breath mints.”

“That’s what you think. I drink tons of booze so you might get one of those scary neuter-babies that’s born without junk.”

“You know… its parts…”

“Well don’t worry about it. My step-mom is forcing me to eat really healthy. She won’t even let me stand in front of the microwave or eat red M&M’s.”

“I don’t know what kind of girl I am.”

“Are you honestly and truly going to prom with Katrina Devore?”

“He said her house smells like soup.”

“[on the phone with “Women Now”] Hey, yeah, uh, I’m just calling to procure a hasty abortion. What? – Can you just hold on for a second, I’m on my hamburger phone.”

“I want a parakeet.”

“Can I use the facilities? Because being pregnant makes me pee like Seabiscuit!”

“No shit. Like Johannes Brahms?”

“Like what?”

“So have you and Vanessa thought of a name for the baby yet?”

“Madison? Isn’t that a little… gay?”

“[defensive] I’m not jealous, and I don’t care. I just know he doesn’t like Katrina and I don’t think he should toy with her emotions like that. She seems so nice and all.”

“No, thanks. I’m off sex right now.”

“I could so go for like a huge cookie right now, with like, a lamb kabob simultaneously.”

“Oh and you know what? I bought another Sonic Youth album and it sucked… it’s just noise.”

“…like it would be friggin’ sweet if no one hit me.”

RELATED: 50+ Haymitch Abernathy Quotes From The Hunger Games Movie

“Bleeker’s mom was possibly attractive once, but now she looks like a Hobbit. You know, the fat one that was in the Goonies.”

“You’re quite the sellout, Mark. I mean… what would the Melvins say?”

“[voice over] When I see them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don’t want to. All i see is pork swords.”

“What about Katrina De Voort? You could totally go out with Katrina De Voort.”

“[leaning up against the wall as she’s in labor] OWW! OWW! Fuckity OW!”

“And Paulie is actually great… in chair.”

“They have ads for parents?”

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.