60+ History Jokes You Can Relate To

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history jokes

In a world of confusion and misunderstanding that often stresses out, we have only one recourse that will pull us out from such miseries! Wondering what is it? Very simple! They are nothing else but Jokes! The very word joke can make us forget about the world we are in and at the same time enable us to lead a happy life! But wait, have you heard about history jokes? If not here is your chance!

Keeping in view of the trend and popularity associated with  jokes, we have compiled 60+ History Jokes That You Can Relate To! Not alone that, these jokes will also leave you in a pool of laugh and joy in no time!

Ready to uncover them?

Think you’ve heard them all? – You may discover something new to make you LOL.

Q: Why were the beginning of history called the dim ages?

A: Because there were such huge numbers of knights!

 

Q: Why is England the wettest nation?

A: Because the sovereign has ruled there for quite a long time!

 

Q: How did the Vikings send mystery messages?

A: By norse code!

 

Q: Who developed divisions?

A: Henry the 1/fourth!

 

Q: What sort of lighting did Noah use for the ark?

A: Floodlights!

 

Q: What’s purple and 5000 miles in length?

A: The grape mass of China.

 

Q: What did Mason say to Dixon?

A: We must adhere to a meaningful boundary here!

 

Q: Who made King Arthur’s round table?

A: Sir-Cumference

 

Q: Who constructed the ark?

An: I have Noah thought!

 

Q: Why aren’t you doing admirably ever?

A: Because the instructor continues getting some information about things that occurred before I was conceived!

 

Q: What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?

A: Toga-ether we can govern the world!

 

Q: Abraham Lincoln had an exceptionally hard adolescence. He needed to walk 8 miles to class each day!

A: Well, he ought to have risen before and gotten the schoolbus like every other person!

 

Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence marked?

An: At the base!

 

Q: What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog share for all intents and purpose?

An: a similar center name!

 

Q: What is the fruitiest subject at school?

A: History, since it’s brimming with dates!

 

Q: Why did the pioneers cross the nation in secured wagons?

A: Because they would not like to hang tight 40 years for a train!

 

Q: When a knight was murdered in fight, what sign did they put on his grave?

A: Rust in harmony!

 

Q: How was the Roman Empire sliced down the middle?

A: With a couple of Caesars!

So, the next time if you want a break, just read these 60 + History Jokes You Can Relate To for a fun filled experience!

Q: What is the fruitiest subject at school?
A: History, because it’s full of dates!

best history jokes

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Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!

famous history jokes

Q: What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
A: The same middle name!

funny history jokes

Q: Who made King Arthur’s round table?
A: Sir-Cumference

history jokes

Q: What’s purple and 5000 miles long?
A: The grape wall of China.

popular history jokes

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Q: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
A: Because there were so many knights!

Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: By norse code!

Q: Who invented fractions?
A: Henry the 1/4th!

Q: What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?
A: Floodlights!

Q: What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
A: I don’t know, I wasn’t invited!

Q: What did Mason say to Dixon?
A: We’ve got to draw the line here!

Q: Who built the ark?
A: I have Noah idea!

Q: Why aren’t you doing well in history?
A: Because the teacher keeps on asking about things that happened before I was born!

Q: What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
A: Toga-ether we can rule the world!

Q: Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood. He had to walk 8 miles to school every day!
A: Well, he should have gotten up earlier and caught the schoolbus like everyone else!

Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom!

Q: Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?
A: Because they didn’t want to wait 40 years for a train!

Q: When a knight was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave?
A: Rust in peace!

Q: How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
A: With a pair of Caesars!

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Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter?
Beggar: I didn’t think someone like you would give me a dollar.

What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
They were all born on holidays.

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?
He gave tanks.

You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower. “Really?
Which rat was he?”

Teacher: “What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?”
Student: “Baseballs.”
Teacher: “Baseballs?”
Student: “Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!”

Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving?
They wanted another excuse to watch football.

What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans ?
Speaking Latin !

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ?
He wanted Mark Antony !

Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ?
On their feet !

Why does history keep repeating itself ?
Because we weren’t listening the first time !

Who succeeded the first President of the USA ?
The second one !

If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas ?
His wife !

When did Caesar reign ?
I didn’t know he reigned. Of course he did, didn’t they hail him ?

Why did the Romans build straight roads ?
So their soldiers didn’t go around the bend !

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra ?
Toga-ether we can rule the world !

Why were the early days of history called the dark ages ?
Because there were so many knights !

Why did Arthur have a round table ?
So no one could corner him !

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Who invented King Arthur’s round table ?
Sir Circumference !

What was King Arthur’s favourite game ?
Knights and crosses !

What was Camelot ?
A place where people parked their camels !

What was Camelot famous for ?
It’s knight life !

When were King Arthur’s army too tired to fight ?
When they had lots of sleepless knights !

What English King invented the fireplace ?
Alfred the grate !

What famous chiropodist ruled England ?
William the Corn-cutter!

Whose son was Edward, the Black Prince ?
Old King Coal !

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?
He liked to chop and change !

What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne ?
Sat down !

Where was the Magna Carta signed ?
At the bottom !

I m learning ancient history ?
So am I, lets go for a walk and talk over old times !

My teacher reminds me of history She’s always repeating herself !

What do history teachers make when they want to get together ?
Dates !

The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon. How many galleons did the get to the mile !

What did Paul Revere say when he got on his horse?
Giddy up horsey !

How did Columbus’s men sleep on their ships ?
With their eyes shut !

What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old ?
A year older on his birthday !

Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia ? Must have been a duck family A duck family ?
Didn’t you say there was a quack in it !

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?
Because they didn’t want to wait 40 years for a train !

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You’ve failed history again ! Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones !

How did you do in your tests ? I did what George Washington did ! What was that ? Went down in history !

Do you know the 20th President of the United States ?
No, we were never introduced !

Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !

When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ? He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row!

What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ?
I don’t know, I wasn’t invited !

What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy’s tomb indicate ?
The registration of the car that ran him over !

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ?
They both have the as their middle names !

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?
Egyptian dummies.

Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies?
A: In his sleevies!

What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark?
A knight light

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