130+ Golf Jokes That Will Make You Fall In Love With Games

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funny golf jokes

We all know how much we respect, love and like to crack Jokes! Besides that we also see jokes as an element that makes our lives simple and easy! In short, people who crack jokes or who love to listen jokes are the most lovable people whom we can always trust!

Keeping that in mind, we and our editor have compiled 130+ Golf Jokes That Will Make You Fall in Love with games with your heart and mind! Not alone that, you will also get to experience a one of a kind comic experience with this hero of our life in no time!

Ready to read? Here we go on this amazing 130+ Golf Jokes That Will Make You Fall in Love with Games!

Every golf player needs a decent chuckle every so often. Our game is an intense one to ace, which maybe clarifies why golf jokes are such a piece of the game.

Prepared to giggle, at that point? We’ve aggregated a portion of golf players’ preferred golf jokes. The ones included here are longer jokes, a greater amount of the “story” sort of golf joke. In the event that you need quicker snickers, at that point look at the gathering of golf jokes and shorter funnies.

Thus numerous jokes have been told at Tiger Woods’ cost as of late (pause: we’re snickering with him, not at him) that you can likewise look at a different gathering of Tiger Woods jokes. Prepared to snicker? How about we get to the entertaining golf jokes now …

The Voice from the Clubhouse

It was a radiant Saturday morning, a little before 8 a.m., I was on the primary opening at The Oaks of St. George Golf Club and starting my pre-shot everyday practice, when a puncturing voice came over the clubhouse amplifier:

“Would the man of honor on the lady’s tee back up to the men’s tee please!”I could feel each eye on the course taking a gander at me. I was still somewhere down in my daily schedule, apparently impenetrable to the interference. Again the declaration: “Would the man on the lady’s tee compassionately back up to the men’s tee.”

I just disregarded the person and continued thinking, when again, the voice shouted, “Would the man on the lady’s tee back up to the men’s tee. Please?!?!” I at last halted, convoluted, measured my hands and yelled back: “Would the twitch with the mouthpiece please stay silent and let me play my subsequent shot!”

The Funeral Procession

Four golf players who like to bet end up in a similar foursome. The pot works for the duration of the day until they arrive at the eighteenth green, where Charlie gets an opportunity to putt for batter. In the event that he makes his 10-foot putt, he wins $200.

Charlie lines up his putt, yet similarly as he’s going to take his position, a memorial service parade starts passing by out and about that keeps running close by the eighteenth opening.

Charlie steps from his ball, sets down his putter, removes his cap and places it over his heart, and sits tight for the burial service parade to totally pass. One every one of the vehicles in the memorial service parade have passed, Charlie gets his putter and starts arranging the putt once more.

“Stunning,” one of his rivals says. “That was the most contacting thing I have ever observed. You have a makeable putt for $200, yet you halted and offered your regards. You truly are something.”

“Well,” Charlie says, “we were hitched for a long time.”

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A bad day at golf is better than a good day at work

best golf jokes

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One golfer says to the other, ‘We’ve only played 3 holes and have already hit our ages…’

Wood Driver by Golf Ball June 2000

Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, sold by the dozen, and you have to buy more by the end of the week.

funny golf jokes

Golf teaches me patience, and I need a lesson.

golf jokes

A golfer’s diet involves living on the greens as much as possible

popular golf jokes

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What’s the best part of the fairway to be on? The top

I’m going to change jobs and become a caddy, because I always know that if I have a heart attack on the greens, there’s always going to be a doctor nearby…

What do you call a golf ball that goes dead straight down the green after you hit it? A miracle!

It’s easier to get up at the crack of dawn to play golf than it is to wake up at 10am to mow the lawn.

I didn’t miss the putt, the ball just missed the hole

What do most golfers have to shoot to win their tournament? The rest of the field…

What’s the difference between a golf ball and directions? A man will always look for a golf ball.

If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, if I don’t play at all, do I win?

It’s not whether you win or lose that counts, it’s whether I win or lose..

What does a golfer think waking down the green is? A romantic walk…

I took up golf just so I could be useless on weekends too.

A man goes to a clairvoyant, who says ‘I see lots of sand, trees and water. You must be a bad golfer’

Luke Skywalker takes out his light saber on the green, and says to the golfers ‘May The Course Be With You…’ (Boom Boom!)

A pretty pathetic golfer was getting frustrated with his lousy game and began blaming his mistakes on his experienced caddie. As the round came to an end,
the golfer said, “You have to be the worst caddie in the whole wide world.” To which the caddie replied, “I don’t think so, sir. That would be too much of a
coincidence.”

What do you call a golfer who has recorded a fantastic score? A liar

What do cricket and golf have in common? A century is a pretty good score for a bad player in either sport.

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What do the worst drivers in the world and the worst golfers in the world have in common? They should both wear a sign that says ‘How’s My Driving?’ Call
this number!

What’s the difference between a pro golfer and everyone else that plays golf? Everyone else retires to play golf.

How does a woman prevent her husband from leaving the house all of the time? She hides his golf clubs.

What do you call the perfect golf shot? A fluke!

Golf is 90% mental which is why the people I play with think I’m crazy…

Why do golfers have to keep buying golf balls? Because they don’t know how to swim.

What’s the difference between golf and other sports? It takes at least 60 years to be this good..

How do you find the worst golfer on a golf course? You just follow the wounded…

What’s the difference between golfers and the general population? Fewer people have reached 100.

What’s the difference between the words ‘put’ and ‘putt’? Put is placing something where you want it. Putt is a totally vain way to try and do the same
thing.

Golf is just another four letter word that where golfers say four letter words.

I like the 19th hole because that means I can drink after I drive.

What do a golfer and a very young child have in common? They can’t count past five.

I have to make sure my back stays loose.

Excuse? I don’t need no stinking excuse!

There’s free beer at the turn.golf jokes

Frustration is a rush. I can only get that on a golf course.

Golf brings out my best competitive nature.

Golf fills the long void of the weekend until work starts again.

A free round of golf was included with lessons.

History dictates the more I play, the better I get.

I always meet interesting people on the course.

Golf is the only place I can take my girlfriend where she can’t talk constantly.

I have to try out this new hat.golf jokes

I haven’t played the course in ten years since I moved away.

I heard a new sand trap was added to #4.

I heard golf is much easier when you’re sober, so I have to try it.

All the executives from my company play this course.

I heard the course is flat – I always play well on flat courses.

I heard they cut the greens again. I have to try them out.

I heard they got rid of the port-o-potty at the turn.

A free round of golf was thrown in for test driving the car.

I have to crown the new bathroom.

I just bought a box of titanium golf balls.

I just bought a new golf glove off the web.

I always play great in the rain.golf jokes

I just bought a pair of waterproof shoes with slip-proof soft-spikes.

I just bought a putter guaranteed to cut 10 strokes off my round.

I just bought some slice-proof tees.

I just bought winter golf gloves. I want to see how they work.

I just enjoy having a cup of coffee while waiting on the tee box.

I just finished a lesson on the Internet; I want to see if I improved.

I just finished the book titled ‘Learn to Golf in Twenty Minutes’.

I just got a new distance finder.golf jokes

I am almost 50; I need to practice for the senior circuit.

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After reading the USGA rules, I have to change my theory on golf.

I am just very optimistic I will play well if I golf today.

I am required to golf for work; I love my job.

I am sick of playing golf on my computer and I want to play for real.

I am useless at work unless I golf twice a week.

I need to try out my new double titanium krypton driver.

I bought a golf cart at a rummage sale.

I bought those new golf contact lenses, guaranteed to cut 5 strokes.

I can expense it for business purposes.

I can finally keep my driver in the fairway.

I got my new handicap card and want to show the guys at the club.

I can get some lawn care tips from the ground maintenance crew.

Church was cancelled because of all the snow, so I’m going golfing.

Drinking beer and golfing is just fun.

I can pass gas, and no one is the wiser.

I can shoot par on the computer version now I want to try it for real.

I finally got a set of brand clubs. I want to see if I can break 120!

All the pin placements are forward today.

I have not played since last summer.

I hate NASCAR, and that’s all that’s on TV.

I got a new beer coolie. I have to try it out on the course.

I have only played that course on my computer.

I have some money from my company’s profit sharing.

I have spent a lot of time practicing; I want to see how I do.

I have to get used to my new putter.

I have to golf as much as possible. We only golf 4 months in Alaska.

I almost broke 90 last time out. I need to keep trying.

I have to golf, it’s a guy thing.golf jokes

I have to keep trying to get a hole in one!

I bought a whole new golf wardrobe.

I have to pay the club dues, I might as well get my money out of it.

I have to pick up a club I left at the course yesterday.

I have to see how my new lesson worked out.

I have to see if I eliminated my slice.

I have to see if my new sunglasses help me read the greens better.

I can finally play under pressure, so I can start betting again.

I have to see if these new golf balls will float.

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I have to teach my son-in-law how to golf.

I have to test this new allergy medicine on the course.

I have to take my wife golfing at least once a year, it is in the pre-nuptial.

I golf at the outings, hoping to win the car.

I golf every day that ends in a ‘y’.

I got a gift certificate for a free round of golf for my birthday.

I got a new pair of knickers.golf jokes

I got a super deal on a golf package.

I got kicked out of G.A. (Golfers Anonymous).

I got lost going to work and ended up at the golf course.

I got new license plates for my golf cart. I’ve got to check them out.

I got the “hots” for the beer girl.golf jokes

I got those new golf balls that fly ‘too far’; I have to try them out.

I had a dream last night telling me to go golfing.

I had a new soft-spikes put on my golf shoes.

I had a sunroof put in on my golf cart. I need to try it out.

I had back surgery yesterday. I need to see if it helped!

I had to join the course so my wife could make some friends.

I had to make a sales call at the course anyway.

I have a few hours to kill before the M.A.S.H reruns start.

I have a meeting at the course, so I might as well go golfing.

I have a rain check from yesterday.

I have a scramble next week. I need the practice.

I have an opportunity to play with the three best players at the club.

I have been on a plane all day; I just really need some fresh air.

I practiced putting on my carpet; now I want to see if it pays off.

I have been taking anger counseling for my golf game.

I have been taking golf vitamins to hit the ball an extra 10 yards.

I watched the golf channel for 48 hours straight. I am psyched up.

I have never birdied a #1 handicap hole.

I have never eagled a hole before and I feel lucky.

I have never played a canyon course before.

I have never played bent grass before.