100+ Funny One Liner Jokes For Added Fun

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Is there any better way to make family moments better or what is the best way to spruce up festivities! Wait let us put it this way for you to answer it better and vividly! Well, what is coming up? Thanksgiving is coming up and we gathered up some Funny One Liner Jokes for you and your family to enjoy the merry times! Here we go on this amazing 60+ Funny One Liner Jokes For Added Fun.

Here are some Funny One Liner Jokes that will make you laugh and at the same time spend some time with your family!

Beneath we’ve assembled an accumulation of the most humorous jokes we could discover – these aren’t simply great jokes, they’re extraordinary jokes!

We trust you appreciate them as much as us… what’s more, in the event that you do, look at our filthy jokes as well.

I approached God for a bicycle, yet I realize God doesn’t work that way so I took a bicycle and requested pardoning.

I detest Russian dolls, they’re so loaded with themselves.

Tossing corrosive isn’t right, in certain individuals’ eyes.

The first occasion when I got an all inclusive remote control I contemplated internally, “This makes a huge difference”.

State what you need about hard of hearing individuals…

I’ve gone through the most recent four years searching for my ex’s executioner, however nobody will do it.

I would not accept my street laborer father was taking from his activity, however when I returned home every one of the signs were there.

I as of late chose to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was social affair dust.

You can never lose a homing pigeon – if your homing pigeon doesn’t return what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

My sweetheart instructed me to go out and get something that makes her look provocative… so I got alcoholic.

Don’t you detest it when somebody addresses their own inquiries? I do.

As I watched the pooch wasting time I thought “Mutts are effectively delighted”, at that point I understood I was watching the canine wasting time.

PMS jokes are not amusing or suitable. Enough said!

Betting fixation hotlines would improve if each fifth guest was a champ.

Where there’s a will, there’s a family member.

Hedgehogs, eh? For what reason wouldn’t they be able to simply share the fence?

Because no one grumbles doesn’t mean all parachutes are immaculate.

To the man on braces, wearing cover, who took my wallet – you can stow away, however you can’t run.

Velcro – what a sham!

My companion continues attempting to persuade me that he’s an impulsive liar however I don’t trust him.

It’s in every case hard to disclose plays on words to natural thieves since they’re continually taking things truly.

Hope these Funny One Liner Jokes made your day better and brighter! Click this section to know more about these jokes! And yes don’t forget to crack these jokes on Thanksgiving Day!

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don’t have eyes.

best funny one liner jokes

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Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

famous funny one liner jokes

Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.

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As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

funny one liner jokes

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

popular funny one liner jokes

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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

Born free, taxed to death.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

What is faster Hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What’s the difference between a paycheck and a pen*s? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

My birth certificate was a letter of apology that my dad got from the condom company…

Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.

Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.

IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got.

I can handle pain until it hurts.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

You cannot taste me, until you undress me. -Banana

You cannot eat me unless you lick me. -Ice-cream

You cannot play with me unless you blow me. -Balloon

You cannot eat me unless you spread me. -Butter

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

A day without smiling is a day wasted.

Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much more for them.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

What’s Blonde and dead in a closet? The Hide and Seek Champion from 1995.

Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive… It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.

A mexican magician was doing a magic trick. He said, Uno, Dose, and he disappeared without a trace

My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back.

Most people are shocked when they find out how incompetent I am as an electrician.

Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”

“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible”
“Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time …” A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit …”

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About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

It’s better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.

You have two parts of brain, ‘left’ and ‘right’. In the left side, there’s nothing right. In the right side, there’s nothing left.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”
Student: “A drinking problem.”

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.

I changed my password to “incorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say “Your password is incorrect”.

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn’t talking to me.

What’s the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.

If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly “we need to talk”.

You won’t drink away the alcoholism.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I’m not saying your perfume is too strong. I’m just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose to pay for self destruction

TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.

At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.

According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

Anal intercourse is for assholes.

I got gas for $1.39 today. Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

When you get to your wit’s end, You’ll find God lives there.

Plan ahead – It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?

Isn’t it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it.

Never laugh at your girlfriends choices… your one of them.

I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma – but never let him be the period.

Did Noah include termites on the ark?

My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she’s way out of my league.

Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes.

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Smoking will kill you… Bacon will kill you… But,smoking bacon will cure it.

I have as much authority as the Pope, i just don’t have as many people who believe it.

She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.

The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died. Resturant In Peace.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing!

My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.


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