Who doesn’t love a joke? There can’t be anyone who hates the very concept of jokes or crackling hilarious twists that will drive the funny spirits in you! Well, how about some Funny Clean Jokes that will leave you splits in seconds!
Funny Clean Jokes are not bad on the whole! So, keeping that in mind we have compiled and edited some amazing and intriguing 130+ Funny Clean Jokes That Are So Mind-Blowing and at the same time great to read amongst your circle and near/dear ones!
Here we go for a whole new comical experience.
Swear words in a joke don’t really make it any cleverer. Maybe after you’ve had a couple of beverages with your mates and you’re in a situation where you won’t get a sharp glare from a companion, relative, or individual parent it works better. But do remember that guardians are frequently close to their children in such situations!
Possibly you would prefer not to annoy anybody’s ears with foul language. In case you’re searching for G-appraised jokes that will make people of any age snicker, we have you secured. A portion of these jokes are cheesy, some are smart, and some are out and out senseless. The jokes are about creatures, history, popular culture, and innovation.
They have a lot of plays on words and a few fathers jokes that will cause even your most youthful kid to moan and state, Ugh Dad. That wasn’t clever!” Because now and again humiliating your family and humiliating your youngsters is interesting for you, at any rate. It’s in every case great to have some great father jokes in your weapons store.
Here are some for you!
- How does NASA sort out a party? They planet.
- Some of the time I fold my knees into my chest and lean forward. That is exactly how I roll.
- What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t have the foggiest idea, however, the banner is a major in addition to.
- What did the enormous blossom say to the little bloom? Hello there, bud!
Well, the above Clean Jokes are great proof to show that you don’t need to be a satire to crack any jokes! For more such experience read our 130+ Funny Clean Jokes That Are So Mind-Blowing.
Q: What do you call a computer that sings?
Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will Let it go.
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
A: Kitty Perry
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.
Q: “How do you shoot a killer bee?”
A: “With a bee bee gun.”
Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you’ll rise and shine!
Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”
A: “You can’t tuna fish.”
Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
A: a meowntain
Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A Chimp off the old block.
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!
Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: It went back four seconds.
Q: What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies?
A: An ambulance.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
A: Idaho… Alaska!
Q: Did you hear about that new broom?
A: It’s sweeping the nation!
Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
A: An irrelephant.
Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
Q: Where do crayons go on vacation?
Q: Why did the belt get arrested?
A: He held up a pair of pants.
Q: What do you call a fat psychic?
A: A four chin teller.
Q: What do you call a computer floating in the ocean?
A: A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!
Q: Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica?
A: It’s dread-full.
Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!
Q: Why is your foot more special than your other body parts?
A: Because they have their own soul.
Q: What is heavy forward but not backward?
Q: What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Q: What did the femur say to the patella?
A: I kneed you.
Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A: a yardvark!
Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.
Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A: At the BP station!
Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.
Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
A: a thesaurus.
Q: How do you drown a Hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
Q: What kind of jokes do you make in the shower?
A: Clean Jokes!
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A: “Where’s Popcorn?”
Q: What do you call sad coffee?”
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it!
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp.
Q: What do you call a man with no body and just a nose?
A: Nobody nose.
Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: Because it had a virus!
Q: Why did the giraffe get bad grades?
A: He had his head in the clouds.
Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them
Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?
A: A penny.
Q: How do you make an Octupus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles
Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A: Cause they arrrrr.
Q: What is the tallest building in the world?
A: The library! It has the most stories!
Q: What’s the first bet that most people make in their lives?
A: the alpha bet
Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and quackers!
Q: How do you organize a space party?
A: You planet!
Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner?
A: Man, that hit the “spot.”
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!
Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
Q: What do you call having your grandma on speed dial?
Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
A: Because it was not peeling well
Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Q: What belongs to you but others use more?
A: Your name
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?
A: Sunday, of course!
Q: Which is the building is the largest?
A: The library because it has the most stories.
Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Q: What bow can’t be tied?
A: A rainbow!
Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A: A Yamahahaha
Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
A: Spring time.
Q: Where did the computer go to dance?
A: To a disc-o.
Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A: A Bed
Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.
Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
A: To get a tweetment.
Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job?
A: Because she couldn’t control her pupils?
Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A: A Clausterphobic
Q: What three candies can you find in every school?
A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?
A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it’s over your head!
Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a bogey in it.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because he had no-body to go with.
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: Did you hear about the angry pancake?
A: He just flipped.
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky.
Q: Did you ever hear about that movie constipation?
A: It never came out.
Q: What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth?
A: A Gummy Bear
Q: What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George?
A: 2 Fast 2 Curious
Q: Did you hear about the hairdresser?
A: She dyed.
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Q: What do you call a musician with problems?
A: a trebled man.
Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
A: He pasta way.
Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In snow banks.
Q: What do you call a very religious person that sleep walks?
A: a Roman Catholic
Q: Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco?
A: He pulled a muscle
Q: Did you hear about the carrot detective?
A: He got to the root of every case.
Q: Why can’t you take a nap during a race?
A: Because if you snooze, you loose!
Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. You go on ahead and I’ll hang around
Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers?
A: the Telephone.
Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?
A: The road!
Q: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
A: He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
A: The scientists were brainstorming!
Q: What did Delaware?
A: a New Jersey
Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date!
Q: What do you cal purple when it is being mean?
Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
A: Hi Cliff! Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That?s just how I roll.
Q: Did you hear the one about the geologist?
A: He took his wife for granite so she left him
Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?
A: Show me the honey!
Q: What did the man say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya!
Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio?
A: Cool Music
Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
A: Because he was sitting on the deck!
Q: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I’m coming down with something!
Q: What do you call a window that raps?
Q: What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race?
A: The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot!
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!
Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
A: Post Office!
Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time
Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!
Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed?
A: To draw the curtains!
Q: What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer?
A: a loose Canon
Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.
Q: What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes out the garbage?
A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.
Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
A: One! After that its not empty!
Q: What kind of button won’t unbutton?
A: A bellybutton!
Q: What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream?
A: Depeche a la Mode.
Q: What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?
A: A barbercue Sponsored ContentRecommended by
Q: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog.
Q: What do you call a condiment with a hit single?
A: a must”heard”
Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?
A: A heavy discussion
Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing!
Q: What do you get when you plant kisses?
A: Tu-lips (two-lips)
Q: What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney?
A: You are to little to smoke!
Q: What do you call a ghosts mom and dad?
Q: Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
A: Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo
Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A: It let out a little wine!
Q: What do you call the new girl at the bank?
A: The Nutella!
Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A: Odor in the court.
Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
A: They don’t have the guts.
Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
Q: What streets do ghosts haunt?
A: Dead ends!
Q: Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum?
A: He got stuck in Orbit.
Q: What did the penny say to the other penny?
A: We make perfect cents.
Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
A: So he could have sweet dreams.
Q: What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized?
A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes.
Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: Your dyslexic
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Q: What do you call a funny mountain?
Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An umbrella.
Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: Because it held up a pair of pants!
Q: Did you hear about the calendar thief?
A: He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered
Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: Your dyslexic
Q: What did one raindrop say to the other?
A: Two’s company, three’s a cloud
Q: Why did the balloon burst?
A: Because is saw a lolly pop
Q: Did you hear about the sick juggler?
A: They say he couldnt stop throwing up!
Q: What kind of driver never get a parking ticket?
A: A screw driver
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Stick with me and we will go places!
Q: Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard?
A: A barber.
Q: What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
Q: What do you call a dentist in the army?
A: A drill sergeant
Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?
A: Your pointless!
Q: Did you hear about the new Johnny Depp movie?
A: It’s the one rated Arrrr!
Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the utter.
Q: What’s easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Q: Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him?
A: The police are calling it an axe-i-dent.
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken joke wasn’t invented yet.
Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
A: Flood lights!
Q: Did you hear about the monster with five legs?
A: His trousers fit him like a glove.
Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?
A: Because they’re all in High School!
Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each “s”!
Q: What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine?
A: it wooden go!
Q: Which month do soldiers hate most?
A: The month of March!
Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you!
Q: What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day?
A: A Frisbee.
Q: What did the M&M go to college?
A: Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
Q: What stays on the ground but never gets dirty?
Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Q: Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case they get a hole in one!
Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book?
A: A crayon-berry
Q: What do you call a magician on a plane?
A: A flying sorcerer!
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
A: He wanted to get to the bottom.
Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?
A: A Mer-Maid
Q: Whens the best time to go to the dentist?
Q: What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig?
A: I wanna get a head!
Q: Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store?
A: It was quite an oar deal.