100+ Funniest Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

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Most amusing Stupid Jokes that are so imbecilic, will make you pee your pants. Well, it was a stunt question, and you truly don’t have to answer since we are not mistaken, we as a whole like inept jokes, entertaining statements, and moronic jokes.

Also, as much as we can imagine hearing these diverting jokes, we want to impart them to our loved ones all the time through informal communities, Keeping that in mind we have collected 100+ Funniest Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

When we were twenty or something we generally had a joke to break. We however it was cool to be the entertaining folks! So we generally had something clever to state, particularly during discussions we were not a piece of (sort of an approach to participate in you see). It required some investment to understand that we were unsavory and that when individuals didn’t get our jokes, attempting to clarify to them what simply exacerbating the situation.

There’s where we need to get that in the event that you have to clarify your jokes it probably won’t be on the grounds that you are excessively unpretentious. For our situation, the issue is that we have a geeky and bent comical inclination that requires references and an uncommon attitude. Also, it’s a great deal to inquire.

In any case, we are interesting, the issue truly is that our potential crowd is little and this is more terrible since I live in an outside nation with a lot of social contrasts and a language hindrance (two really, I make my best jokes in French). Thus, on the off chance that we split a joke that nobody comprehends there’s no point clarifying it and here’s the reason:

  • The minute has passed. At some point, 1 second later is 1 second past the point of no return and what I just said doesn’t bode well any longer.
  • It was not the opportune time and individuals were not prepared, or in the disposition, to hear a joke. Also, they are not prepared to hear our clarifications either. This issue is emphasized by my trouble to peruse expressive gestures.
  • Individuals don’t generally have similar references to us. On the off chance that we make a reference to.

These 100+ Funniest Jokes goes on to prove that regardless of how idiotic and moronic these jokes sound, we can never get enough of them. Some of them are essentially superior to other people, while some are more regrettable than anything you may have heard in your life. Just enjoy these 100+ Stupid Jokes and spread the vibe.

A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster!

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I backed a horse last week at 10 to one. It came in at quarter past four.

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I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said: “Are you two an item?”

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Went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.

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I’m on a whisky diet. I’ve lost three days already.

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I went down to my local supermarket and I said: “I want to make a complaint. This vinegar’s got lumps in it”. He said: “Those are pickled onions.”

A man entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.

I was having dinner with a world chess champion and there was a check tablecloth. It took them two hours to pass the salt.

Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says: “Oi – get out. We don’t want your type in here.”

I’m in a great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a year’s supply of Marmite – one jar.

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.

I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up and said: “Did you get my drift?”

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: “Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.”

A jumplead walks into a bar. The barman says: “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up for a date but she’d popped her clogs.

I went to buy camouflage trousers but I couldn’t find any.

Went to the doctors and said: “Have you got anything for wind?” He gave me a kite.

A man walks into a bar with a roll of Tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road.”

“Doc, I can’t stop singing The Green, Green Grass Of Home.” He said: “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” I asked. “It’s not unusual,” he replied.

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The reception was brilliant.

Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The skeleton says, “Gimme a beer and a mop.”

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says, “Really? In that case, give me a Kyle!”

I went to the doctors the other day and he said: “Go to Bournemouth, it’s great for flu.” So I went – and I got it.

Went to the corner shop – bought four corners.

I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people’s pants. It was Wedgie Kray.

I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything – trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

My next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he’s a Catholic converter.

I’ve got a friend who’s fallen in love with two school bags. He’s bisatchel.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went downhill fast.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

“Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”

“Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that’s just in the hot dogs.”

“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”

“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realised that the other day inside my fort.”

“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? ‘Hey, if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’”

“Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it’s probably s***.”

“I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. There would never be an ‘Escalator Temporarily Out of Order’ sign, only ‘Escalator Temporarily Stairs’.”

“If I was an Olympic athlete, I’d rather come in last than win the silver medal. You win the gold, you feel good. You win the bronze, you think, ‘at least I got something.’ But you win that silver, that’s like, ‘Congratulations, you almost won! Of all the losers, you came in first! You’re the number one loser! No one lost ahead of you!’”

“We weren’t very religious. On Hanukkah, my mother had our menorah on a dimmer.”

“My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a Greek statue – completely pale, no arms.”

“If God had written the Bible, the first line should have been ‘It’s round.'”

“I bought myself some glasses. My observational comedy improved.”

“Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book.”

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“You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.”

“Most of my life is spent avoiding conflict. I hardly ever visit Syria.”

“A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.”

“Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you’re fat.”

“My Dad said, always leave them wanting more. Ironically, that’s how he lost his job in disaster relief.”

“Apparently smoking cannabis can affect your short term memory. Well if that’s true, what do you think smoking cannabis does?”

“How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?…. none. They’re not really into that sort of thing. If it’s that dark, light a candle.”

“The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.”

“As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.”

“Two fish in a tank. One says: ‘How do you drive this thing?'”

“I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”

“People who like trance music are very persistent. They don’t techno for an answer.”

“I used to go out with a giraffe. Used to take it to the pictures and that. You’d always get some bloke complaining that he couldn’t see the screen. It’s a giraffe, mate. What do you expect? ‘Well he can take his hat off for a start!’”

“Normally you have news, weather and travel. But not on snow day. On a snow day, news is weather is travel.”

“Here’s a picture of me with REM. That’s me in the corner.”

“Someone showed me a photograph of my local MP the other day.’Would you buy a second-hand car from this man?’ they asked.’Would you buy a second-hand car?’ I replied.”

“With stand-up in Britain, what you have to do is bloody swearing. In Germany, we don’t have to swear. Reason being, things work.”

“I’m learning the hokey cokey. Not all of it. But – I’ve got the ins and outs.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a schizophrenic, and so am I.”

“My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.”

“My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.'”

“I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”

“‘What’s a couple?’ I asked my mum. She said, ‘Two or three’. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed.”

“The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.”

“I was in my car driving back from work. A police officer pulled me over and knocked on my window. I said, ‘One minute I’m on the phone.'”

“My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. If I knew that we wouldn’t need the bloody phone.”

“I doubt there’s a heaven; I think the people from hell have probably bought it for a timeshare.”

I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?”He said: “How flexible are you?”I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”

“A man walks into a chemist’s and says, ‘Can I have a bar of soap, please?’The chemist says, ‘Do you want it scented?’And the man says, ‘No, I’ll take it with me now.'”

“It’s really hard to define ‘virtue signalling’, as I was saying the other day to some of my Muslim friends over a fair-trade coffee in our local feminist bookshop.”

“If we were truly created by God, then why do we still occasionally bite the insides of our own mouths?”

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“Do Transformers get car, or life insurance?”

“Alright lads, a giant fly is attacking the police station. I’ve called the SWAT team!”

“A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.”

“My father drank so heavily, when he blew on the birthday cake he lit the candles.”

“I’ve been feeling suicidal so my therapist suggested I do CBT. Now I can ride a motorbike, how’s that going to help?”

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