100+ Funniest Jokes Ever That Are So Cute!

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funniest jokes ever

Funny Jokes? Sounds quirky? Why not entertain the crowd by providing the best funny jokes that are circling the town? Here are the 100+ Funniest Jokes That Are So Cute Yet Satisfying! Not alone that these jokes are also sure to tickle your bones and make you laugh for hours together!

Here we go!

We all start our lives as meager children, at some point later we grow up, at that point develop old and go to be whimsical once more. Along these lines, as well, with your comical inclination: while you may be to cool for a thump or two-line joke in your youngsters or mid-twenties, something happens when you’re nearing that 30 line (or sooner in the event that you have children!).

This sort of silliness goes to be the most entertaining jokes once more, thus much so you believe you should impart them to the world (or your children in any event).

Furthermore, on the off chance that you feel sort of embarrassed by preferring these dolt yet clever jokes, there’s no compelling reason to feel along these lines. Things being what they are, an examination was led looking for the best joke ever, and, by a huge number of votes, THIS is it:

Two trackers are out in the forested areas when one of them breakdown. He’s not breathing so his companion calls 911. ‘My companion is dead! What should I do?” The administrator answers, “Quiet down sir, first ensure that he’s extremely dead.” There’s a quietness, at that point a noisy blast. Back on the telephone, the person says, “alright, no what?”

That’s right, that is the logically demonstrated best joke on the planet — no should be embarrassed by your comical inclination.

We have scoured the Internet for the most magnificent entertaining jokes and thought of this rundown. Which one is the most wince commendable? Or on the other hand possibly you have a couple of keen jokes of your own? Simply share it with us and we will have the effect!

Now you know how special yet unique these Funny Jokes are! Not alone that you are also sure to go into a laugh spell in no time and get to enjoy the way you want! So, the next time if your or anyone feels stressed or bored just read out these 100+ Funniest Jokes That Are So Cute and give them a whole new experience!

What has ears but cannot hear? A field of corn.

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What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!

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Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies!

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What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

”I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.”

”Dyslexic man walks into a bra”

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ”Shut up…you’re next!”

A classic Tommy Cooper gag ”I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, ”How flexible are you?” I said, ”I can’t make Tuesdays”, was fifth.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.
Two aerials meet on a roof – fall in love – get married. The ceremony was rubbish – but the reception was brilliant.

Another one was: Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: ‘That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome’. ‘Is it common?’I asked. ‘It’s not unusual’ he replied.

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ”Pint please, and one for the road.”

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, ‘Have you got anything for wind?’ So he gave me a kite.

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ”He’s trying to pull a fast one”.

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan’. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ”But they are twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

There’s two fish in a tank, and one says ”How do you drive this thing?”

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

When Susan’s boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ”I love the simple things in life, but I don’t want one of them for my husband”.

”My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.”

I rang up British Telecom, I said, ”I want to report a nuisance caller”, he said ”Not you again”.

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.

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A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says ”I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything”

Slept like a log last night…….. Woke up in the fireplace.

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ”Is this some kind of joke?”

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ”Sorry we don’t serve food in here”

The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ”Did you get my drift?”.

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.

Went to the paper shop – it had blown away.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ”But why?” they asked, as they moved off. ”because,” he said ”I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

I was in Tesco’s and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, ”Are you two an item?”

I’m in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite……… one jar.

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ”Your eyes sparkle like diamonds”. I said, ”Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck”.

Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ”Oi – get out! We don’t want your type in here”

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

I went down the local supermarket, I said, ”I want to make a complaint, this vinegar’s got lumps in it”, he said, “Those are pickled onions”.
I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.

I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said ”may contain nuts.” Well, YES! That’s what I bought the buggers for! You’d be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!”

A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster

My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife’ll look at me and go, ”Who’s that calling at this time?’ ”I don’t know! If I knew that we wouldn’t need the bloody phone!”

I said to this train driver ”I want to go to Paris”. He said ”Eurostar?” I said, ”I’ve been on telly but I’m no Dean Martin”.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

I’ve got a friend who’s fallen in love with two school bags, he’s bisatchel.

You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he’s a catholic converter.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ”I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.

I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people’s pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

Went to the corner shop – bought 4 corners.

A seal walks into a club…

I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, ‘Go to Bournemouth, it’s great for flu’. So I went – and I got it.

I’m in a great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a year’s supply of Marmite – one jar.

I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said: “Are you two an item?”

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.

I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up and said: “Did you get my drift?”

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: “Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.”

A jumplead walks into a bar. The barman says: “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up for a date but she’d popped her clogs.

I went to buy camouflage trousers but I couldn’t find any.

Went to the doctors and said: “Have you got anything for wind?” He gave me a kite.

A man walks into a bar with a roll of Tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road.”

I’m on a whisky diet. I’ve lost three days already.

“Doc, I can’t stop singing The Green, Green Grass Of Home.” He said: “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” I asked. “It’s not unusual,” he replied.

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The reception was brilliant.

Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The skeleton says, “Gimme a beer and a mop.”

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says, “Really? In that case, give me a Kyle!”

I went to the doctors the other day and he said: “Go to Bournemouth, it’s great for flu.” So I went – and I got it.

Went to the corner shop – bought four corners.

I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people’s pants. It was Wedgie Kray.

I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything – trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

My next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he’s a Catholic converter.

I’ve got a friend who’s fallen in love with two school bags. He’s bisatchel.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went downhill fast.

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen… I can feel it.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.

I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. He was too clothes minded.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay. He woke up.

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”

Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? Because they might peel!

What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milk shake!

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? Your head hits the ceiling!

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!

Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs!

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

Why did the teddy bear say “no” to dessert? Because she was stuffed.

What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!

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