70+ Fucked Up Jokes That Are So Mind-Blowing

popular fucked up jokes

Who doesn’t love a joke? There can’t be anyone who hates the very concept of jokes or crackling hilarious twists that will drive the funny spirits in you! Well, how about Fucked Up Jokes that will leave you splits in seconds!

Fucked Up Jokes are not bad on the whole! So, keeping that in mind we have compiled and edited some amazing and intriguing 70+ Fucked Up Jokes  That Are So Mind-Blowing and at the same time great to read amongst your circle and near/dear ones!

Here we go for a whole new comical experience.

There are jokes about assault, pedophilia, necrophilia. creature assault, strict assault, ethnic assault and much more. On the off chance that it  can be  incorporated, everything inside the structure of quippy, well-metered punchlines sourced from a mix of incel-ridden Reddit joke strings likeLosing my virginity was a great deal like figuring out how to ride a bike. My father was behind me the whole distance.”

“They state sex counteracts gloom. So why throughout the entire the countenances at the assault emergency focus?”

“Feel free to call the police. We’ll see who starts things out.”

The best part about these liners is every one of them is considered as wrong jokes and offer no spot no trigger admonition or expression of remorse for these jokes the main setting perusers get is a little cautioning before being acquainted with these kinds of jokes.

Regardless of the way that there’s nothing interesting about the assault, We couldn’t prevent the grin from spreading over my face when we read jokes like “Obviously ‘Ramadan’ isn’t to be taken actually. Apologies, Dan!” Though we were embarrassed at anything horrible like this could make anyone laugh, snickering at this sort of joke was great. It resembled that we were in one way or another greater than it.

Give us a chance to offer increasingly two additional bits of knowledge on this

  1. As per Freud, jokes are interesting on the grounds that the punchline offers an abrupt release of constraint. What’s being quelled is typically sexual, unfriendly, or disgusting. Chuckling gives these things a chance to out in a pretty much socially worthy arrangement. It’s a method to process troublesome subjects, yet the foulness, the brutality, of what’s discharged is sublimated in the cleverness of the joke.
  2. On the off chance that the punchline is somewhat of a shock, and something occurs in the joke you didn’t expect, increasingly strain is discharged. In that manner, the joke carries out its responsibility — it makes an arrival of an antagonistic vibe. It’s helpful in that sense.

Well, the above Dirty Jokes are great proof to show that you don’t need to be a satire to crack any jokes! For more such experience read our 70+ Fucked Up Jokes  That Are So Mind-Blowing!

What’s the difference between a joke and two dicks?
You can’t take a joke.

best fucked up jokes

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Real men don’t wear pink…
They eat it.

famous fucked up jokes

What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by few inches and you’re in deep shit.

fucked up jokes

How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

handsome young man putting handcuffs on seductive woman in red dress

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

popular fucked up jokes

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What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.

What do you call a deaf gynecologist?
A lip reader.

I hope Death is a woman.
That way it will never come for me.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that tiny thing?

What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you got to hand it to her.

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.

Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

What does tofu and a dildo have in common?
They’re both meat substitutes.

What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.

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How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Why are women like KFC?
After you’ve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF File.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

How is virginity like a soap bubble?
One prick and it is gone.

I added Paul walker on Xbox…
But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

How did the leper hockey game end?
There was a face off in the corner.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.

How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.

Why do men always give their jackets to their women when they are cold?
Who wants a blowjob from a woman who is shaking with her teeth?

What do a pizza boy and a gyneocologist have in common?
They both smell it but they can’t eat it.

What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.

How is pubic hair like parsley?
You push it to the side before you start eating.

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What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.

Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex…
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.

What’s the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

What’s does Donald Trump’s hair and a thong have in common?
They both barely cover the asshole.

I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn.
It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs.

What is the best part of a blowjob?
Ten minutes of peace and quiet.

I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay.
She said she didn’t have time.

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.

Say what you want about pedophiles…
But at least they drive slow through the school zones.

What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries.

What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?

What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?
A tearjerker.

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

RELATED: 100+ Adult Jokes That Aren’t So Bad Yet Funny!

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!

What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn’t budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.

Why did the semen cross the road?
Because you wore the wrong socks today.

Why did the snowman suddenly smile?
He could see the snowblower coming.

What’s the difference between a clitoris and a cell phone?
Nothing! Every cunt’s got one.

When is it okay to beat up a dwarf?
When he’s standing next you girlfriend saying that her hair smells nice.

What does a dumb slut say when you ask if she’s ever tried 69?
“Thirty dudes is the most I can screw in one night.”

How are women like linoleum floors?
If you lay ’em right the first time, you can walk all over them for the next 20 years or so.

What’s the square root of 69?
Ate something.

What do you do when your cat’s dead?
Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.

What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?
A glad-he-ate-her.

What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.

What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato?
A dictator.

Why did Jesus die a virgin?
Every single “wound” he touched closed up.

How is life like toilet paper?
You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

What’s the best way to respond when a girls asks “what’s up”?
“If I tell you, will you sit on it?”

What does it mean if a man remembers the color of a woman’s eyes after a first date?
She’s got small tits.

Wanna hear a joke about my dick?
Nevermind. It’s too long.


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