Filipino Jokes? Why not! Here are our top 30+ Filipino Jokes That Is So Funny to read!
My companion requested that I learn Filipino with him however I didnt need to tag alog.
Did you find out about the Filipino flexibility expert? He was a Manilla organizer
It is basic in the Philippines for families to live in one-room homes.
One night a couple needed to have intercourse, thus they had their kid look the window. As the couple made love, the youngster kept on watching out the window without pivoting.
When the couple was done, the dad asked the youngster “all in all, what did you see out the window?”
The kid answered “the neighbors were having intercourse as well.”
Befuddled, the dad asked “how might you tell?”
The youngster addressed “their child was taking a gander at me from their window as well.”
On the off chance that somebody from Holland wedded a Filipino what might their child be?
An American, a Mexican, a Chinese,a German, a Korean, an Australian, a Canadian, a South African, a Brazilian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Dane, an Iraqi, a Singaporean, an Indian, an Egyptian, a Vietnamese, a Nicaraguan and a Brit stroll into a bar and the barkeep says “Hello! You can’t come in here without a Thai”
How might you know whether another person is a Filipino?
They would let you know.
Out of the blue, the American tosses his iPhone to the sea. The Japanese, surprised, asked the American, “Why toss iPhone?” The American answered, “Don’t stress man, there are loads of iPhone in the states.” The Filipino muttered, “Amazing, what a waste.” The Japanese went to his quarter, took out his PC, and at that point tosses it to the sea. The American, shockingly, asked the Japanese, “Hello, for what reason did you do that? “The Japanese answered, “No stress! In Japan, we have numerous raputappu.” The Filipino muttered once more, “Damn this rich mother lover. He could have given the workstation to me.”
A few seconds after the fact, a Korean person moved toward them and said howdy. Abruptly, the Filipino drove the Korean out of the ship into the sea. The Japanese and American are both shocked however before anybody could stand up, the Filipino stated, “Don’t stress, der are lats operation Korean in da Pilipins.”
I’m half filipino and half greek so what am I?
I’m a freek
As a Filipino in 2017
At whatever point I break a guarantee, I just say:”Well, you decided in favor of a man who vowed to clean the legislature in three to a half year! Become acclimated to it.”
Hope these 30+ Filipino Jokes That are so funny made you laugh! Read more and spread the vibe!
A cute and funny way to ask someone out….
Boy: I’m invisible!
Girl: Owwwzzz? Talaga?
Boy: Can you see me?
Girl: syempre naman!
Boy: 7 pm tonight?
Your a certain person I always enjoy sending
Text messages coz I want you to feel that
You’ve really a part of my expenses…
Ay mali(sorry) THOUGHTS pala…
What is LOVE ?
Love is romantic, fantastic, realistic, dramatic and full of atik – atik(lies)…. dah lage
Friends are like mirrors
They are our reflection
Busa ayaw katingala nganong hitsuraan ka…
Oh come on… friends baya tah…
Teacher: Class, use the word “among” in a sentence…
Juan: AMONG the trees, coconut is the best!
Teacher: Very Good! You Pedro?
Pedro: AMONG arenola gikawat sa nagbasa!
When I die I want to wear my sexiest outfit….. Coz’ when the time comes that you will see me lying in my coffin, I want you to smile while saying “BANGIS NG GAGA, PARANG COVER GIRL”
Who says English is easy?
You won’t believe?
Then fill the blank with either YES or NO…
“OH ___, I am a monkey!”
A gang decided to rob a bank…they opened every vault and found only cups of yogurt. So they ate it all…
Next day, in CNN news:
“BIGGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED!”
” THE GUN…..
KAY NAAY IRO….” Agpas ” the gun”(run) dayon
Use chocolate in a sentence…
CHOCO NA LATE AKO….
I may not be with you everyday
But one thing I promise you…
I”ll be there on your wedding day, I’m going to sit beside you while saying…
” yes…. kaon na ni…(eating time!)
Kano : why you came late ?
Pedro : Juan, tabangi ko eninglish be. Ingna nagduha-duha ko ug lakaw kay ang adlaw hapon na.
Juan : I two by two walk because the sun is Japanese.
Roses are red, skies are blue,
Monkeys like you, should be kept in zoo
Don’t get angry… you’ll find me their too…
Not in the cage, but laughing at you.
PRAYER BEFORE MEALS :
Bless this FOOD, ako FOOD, siya FOOD, aron ang pagkaon
Ma aFOOD- aFOOD u gang sud-an maiguFOOD
Hangtud ang ngipon maFOOD-FOOD…. katawa FOOD
Apo : LOLO look at those boats…
Erap : Nice diba iho, they are called yachts
Apo: How do you spell it?
Erap : Youre’re right iho, they’re boats.
Teacher : What will change if the ice water turn into ice?
Student: The price, sir….
Four catholic mothers are sitting around, bragging about their sons, each of whom is a priest.
First mother says: My son is a monsignor and when he walks in the room, people greet him: “Good morning Monsignor!”
Second mother says: Well, my son is a bishop and people greet him: “Good morning your Grace!”
Third mother says: Well, my son is a cardinal and people greet him: “Good morning you’re Eminence!”
The fourth mother pause and says: “My son is seven feet tall and is 350 pounds of pure muscles. When he walks outside, people greet him: “Oh My God!”
Last night, I’m lying on my bed, looking up the sky and the stars,
the sky is so clean and the night is so peaceful;
at last I said…………..
“Ginoo ko !!!asa naman among ATOP”
I had a dream about you. Nasa heaven daw tayo with a cute angel, my angel was ugly, tampo ‘ko. I ask St. Peter why cute angel mo. he replied, ” Balance of Nature”.
A husband coming home from a confession, suddenly he lifted his wife and carried her.
Wife: Why did the priest tell you to be romantic like this?
Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross!
If only I’m an angel, I’ll protect you, I’ll lend you my wings. I’ll watch over you but I’m not an angel………… pero may hawig naman……..,’DI BA ?!?
With this message I would like to thank you for being such a nice friend to me…. I really appreciate your goodness and truthfulness, especially when you confirmed my…. CUTENESS !.
Teacher : Use DOES and AMONG in the sentence.
Peter : AMONG the birds, only parrot DOES talk.
Teacher : Very good. Ikaw John.
John : When the cow DOESmag na AMONG ang lubi.
A girl with her friends went to a bar.
When she read the sign saying : BELOW 18 NOT ALLOWED
The girl said : “nge” !!! uli na lang ta oy…. 10 ra man ta kabuok…
American and a Filipino conversation.
American: Is that an apple you are eating?
American: You know, in States, only poor people eat an apple.
Filipino: Oh, is that true?
Is that a banana you are eating?
Filipino: You know, in Philippines, only monkeys eat banana.
Judge: What if you find that your boyfriend has AIDS, what will you do and why?
Contestant: I’ll still love him..
“coz, AIDS doesn’t matter!, thank you”.
A Chinese lady can’t speak English. At the grocery, she wanted to buy pork leg, she showed her legs. Next day, she needed chicken breast, she showed her breast. On the third day, she brought along her husband because she wanted sausage. What did she do?
Her husband can speak English!!!.
Teacher: Arnold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking even when people are no longer interested??
Arnold: A teacher!!!
Wonder girls may say,
“I want nobody, nobody but you..”
Then, the boys will reply,
“I want your body, your body not YOU!!!”
True bravery is to arrive home..
fully drunk from late night out and mom waiting with a broom in hand, then you asked:
“Hey mom, still cleaning?”
Woman with a baby on a bus..
Driver: what an ugly baby!
The mother was hurt, she went to another seat.
The man next to her asked, “What’s wrong?”
Woman: The driver just insulted me.
Man: He should give you respect! Go get his name and I.D. number. I’ll hold your MONKEY for you! (LOL)
Boy: I love you!
Girl: shut up
Boy: I want you!
Girl: shut up
Boy: I miss you!
Girl: shut up
Boy: Will you marry me?
Boy: shut up! Mahal Bugas (rice is expensive)!!!