Father’s Day Jokes is only that: an awful joke. Yet, once in a while a joke is so stunning silly that it rises above its own dreadfulness and arrives at a higher plane of entertaining. You would prefer not to snicker—each self-regarding some portion of your cerebrum is dismissing the roaring motivation. However, you can’t support yourself. That is the point at which you realize you have an awful joke so ghastly that it’s really clever.
Also, the thing is, everybody needs clean joke from time to time call them “father jokes” in the event that you should, however, it’s not simply fathers who love a decent groaner. In this, we’ve gathered 60+ Father’s Day Jokes for Kids from the best clever terrible jokes that will make them snicker so hard you cry—regardless of how hard you attempt and stand up to.
Here we go!
Need to give your father something amusing for Father’s Day? Why not make him a wisecrack. Here are some extraordinary jokes about fathers.
Jon: What’s the distinction between a high-hit baseball and a slimy parasite’s dad?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.
— Submitted by Jon W., Stroudsburg, Pa.
Educator (on telephone): You state Michael has a cold and can’t come to class today? To whom am I talking?
Voice: This is my dad.
— Submitted by Mike I., Midland, Mich.
Johnny’s dad: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s dad: Why not?
Johnny: My companion just acquired it. He needs to startle his folks.
— Submitted by Tyler H., Blacklick, Ohio
“Father, are bugs great to eat?” asked the kid.
“We should not discuss such things during supper, child,” his dad answered.
After supper the dad asked, “Presently, child, what did you need to ask me?”
“Goodness, nothing,” the kid said. “There was a bug in your soup, however now it’s no more.”
— Submitted by Mark Y., Glendora, Calif.
A little kid was at the zoo with his dad. They were taking a gander at the tigers, and his dad was revealing to him how brutal they were.
“Daddy, if the tigers got out and gobbled you up… ”
“Indeed, child?” the dad asked, prepared to support him.
” … Which transport would I bring home?”
— Submitted by Gholson D. G., Gaithersburg, Md.
Science instructor: When is the breaking point come to?
Science understudy: When my dad sees my report card!
— Submitted by Michael H., Canton, Ohio
Joe: What does your dad accomplish professionally?
Jon: He’s an entertainer. He performs stunts, such as sawing individuals down the middle.
Joe: Do you have any siblings or sisters?
Jon: Yep, four stepsisters and a relative.
— Submitted by Jonathan W., Stroudsburg, Pa.
Four men are in the medical clinic lounge area in light of the fact that their spouses are having babies. A medical attendant goes up to the primary person and says, “Congrats! You’re the dad of twins.”
“That is odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A medical attendant says to the subsequent person, “Congrats! You’re the dad of triplets!”
“That is strange,” answers the subsequent man. “I work for the 3M organization!”
A medical attendant tells the third man, “Congrats! You’re the dad of quadruplets!”
“That is weird,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons lodging!”
The last man is moaning and striking his head against the divider. “What’s up?” the others inquire.
“I work for 7 Up!”
— Submitted by Daniel C., Urbana, Ill.
So the next time, if you want a break from your regular routine, just read these 60+ Father’s Day Jokes for Kids That Aren’t So Bad Yet Funny for a new experience!
Mom: Why are you home so early?
Dad: My boss told me to go to hell.
Q: What did daddy spider say to baby spider?
A: You spend too much time on the web.
Q: What do you call the father you walk all over?
Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!
Dad: How do you like fourth grade?
Son: It isn’t much fun.
Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!
RELATED: 60+ Long Jokes Are Broadly Humorous
Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.
Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.
Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.
“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.
After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
A small boy was at the zoo with his father. They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.
“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”
“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.
“ …Which bus would I take home?”
Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!
Joe: What does your father do for a living?
Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”
“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”
“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”
A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”
“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.
“I work for 7 Up!”
A book never written: “Fatherly Advice” by Buck L. Upson.
Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
Dad: Oh, yeah? When I was your age, I was good for nothing.
Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Westy: Beats me.
Pee Wee: A POPsicle!
Pee Wee: How is the baby bird like its dad?
Pee Wee: It’s a chirp off the old block.
Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!
Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit.
Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
Jan: Was he mad?
Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!
Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
Theo: I love it!
Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!
Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn?
A: Where’s popcorn?
Q: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
A: a POPsicle!
Q: How do fathers exercise on the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Q: How do you know your dad is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Q: How do you scare a divorced dad?
A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice!
Q: Why don’t some fathers have a mid-life crisis?
A: They’re stuck in adolescence.
Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A: Because his dad was in a jam!
Q: What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato?
A: catch up!
Q: Why are Fathers like parking spaces?
A: The good ones are already taken!
Q: Why did the cookie cry?
A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
Q: What is the definition of Mass Confusion?
A: Fathers Day in the ghetto.
Q: What do toys and boobs have in common?
A: Both are made for children but it’s the fathers who play with them most.
Dad, you’re someone to look up to no matter how tall I’ve grown.
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough.
Father’s Day is just like Mother’s Day, except on Father’s Day you buy a cheaper gift.
Most fathers want their sons to have things they never had, like A’s on their report cards.
Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.
Well, an iPad would be nice for Father’s Day, but I’d settle for 20 minutes of damn silence.
What is fathers day? The day in June when a father remembers he hasn’t yet paid the bills for Mother’s Day.
Father: Let me see your report card. Son: I don’t have it. Father: Why not? S
on: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
Man: How old is your father?
Child: As old as me.
Man: How it is possible?
Child: He became a father only when i was born.
Dad: “Hey babe, you smell that?”
Mom: “No.” Dad: “Me neither, start cooking.”
My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to our father.
Upon opening it, Dad read this message: “You’ve been like a father to me.”
He looked at Ryan, puzzled.
“Well, Dad,” Ryan tried to explain, “it was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!’”
Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father’s instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. I finished the trip safely.
Our Gen-X daughter, Cristie, made my husband a Father’s Day card entitled “Things My Dad Would Never Say.” Such as:
“Can you turn up that music?”
“Go ahead and take my truck. Here’s 50 bucks for gas.”
“I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones.”
“Here, you take the remote.”
I decided to make myself useful and do a load of the family laundry. When I took the clothes out of the machine, I discovered — to my dismay — that I had also washed the watch my wife had given me while we were dating. “Don’t expect me to replace it,” she said later with an obvious lack of sympathy. By the time Father’s Day rolled around, however, she had relented and gave me a beautiful new watch. Attached was a note with this stipulation: “DRY-CLEAN ONLY!”
Father’s Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.
When I looked back, Tyler was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way. “Tyler, what are you doing?” I asked. “Haven’t you found a nice card for Daddy yet?”
“No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”
My husband’s cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears — one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress. “See, Connor?” he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. “That’s Daddy.”
Connor’s eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, “You used to be a bear?”
While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember — run to Dad first, then the dog.”
On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked.
“Kirsten, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” Dad replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”
My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.
Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.