100+ Dracula: Dead And Loving It Quotes About The 1995 Satirical Comedy Horror Film

Dracula Dead and Loving It quotes

These Dracula: Dead And Loving It Quotes About The 1995 Satirical Comedy Horror Film. There are so many Dracula: Dead And Loving It quotes that can help you when you are tired of being in the same old rut, and all you need is a little push, a little inspiration, a smile on the face, change of mood, bring you out of the banality of life, make you laugh a little, or may even make you cry a bit, and these Dracula: Dead And Loving It Quotes exists just do that.

Dracula: Dead and Loving It is directed by Mel Brooks and is a parody of Bram Stoker’s original novel Dracula and the series of productions it inspired. The starring cast is led by Steven Weber, Amy Yasbeck, Peter MacNicol, Harvey Korman, Anne Bancroft and Mel Brooks himself as Dr. Van Helsing. However, the film flopped at the box office. The plot opens with the solicitor Thomas Renfield traveling from London to “Castle Dracula” in Transylvania to finalize Count Dracula’s inheriting of Carfax Abbey in England but ends up becoming a slave to Dracula who hypnotizes him. What follows is a quest to England where Dracula dines on the ship’s crew and keeps harping on different people as his next prey until he dies. There are bouts of humour but mostly no extraordinary effects out of them. The critical reception of the movie was extremely negative and was called a failed parody that missed more than it hit.

We have dug up these Dracula: Dead And Loving It quotes from the depths of the internet and brought together best of these sayings in a single article. This post is probably the biggest database of Dracula: Dead And Loving It Sayings in a single place. Dracula: Dead And Loving It Quotes  About Mary have the power to change your life by giving a novel outlook about the way you observe different aspects of your life. Hence, these popular Dracula: Dead And Loving It quotes should be read with caution and proper understanding of the context. Here are tons of Dracula: Dead And Loving It quotes that will open a treasure chest of Wisdom and experiences: –

“Oh, it’s night-time. I was having… a daymare.”

Dracula Dead and Loving It saying

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“I’m drinking wine, and I’m eating chicken!”

Dracula Dead and Loving It quotes

“She’s doing quite well without him, isn’t she?”

Dracula Dead and Loving It famous quotes “I must move the coffin. Or the chandelier.”

Dracula Dead and Loving It popular quotes “I didn’t see anything! I didn’t see anything I saw everything!”

Dracula Dead and Loving It best quotes

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“Children of the night… what a mess they make!”

“My God! What are you doing to the furniture?”

“Yesss… MASSSTER!”

“Wrong me! Wrong me! Wrong my brains out!”

“Would an enema help?”

“Well done, doctor! Ten out of ten!”

“Dracula: Renfield, you were having a nightmare.”

Renfield: A nightmare? But it was so real, so vivid. Two voluptuous women, heaving and grinding. How to describe it? [pause] Have you ever been to Paris?
[Renfield is having breakfast with Dr. Seward. He sees a bug on the table and eats it]”

“Dr. Seward: I was just telling Ma—what was that?”

“Renfield: Huh?”

“Dr. Seward: You just grabbed something from the table.”

“Renfield: I did not.”

“Dr. Seward: Yes you did, I saw you, you put it in your mouth. I think it was an insect.”

“Renfield: [thinks of an alibi] Oh, that was a raspberry.”

“Dr. Seward: Raspberry? We’re not serving raspberries.”

“Renfield: Then it must have been a raisin. I guess it fell off the muffin. See? There’s one missing.”

[The two men laugh. Renfield sees a spider coming towards him, and he quickly eats it up]

“Dr. Seward: How silly of me! It must have been my imagin—there, you did it again!”

“Renfield: Huh?”

“Dr. Seward: You just put a bug in your mouth. I think it was a spider!”

“Renfield: I did not.

“Dr. Seward: Yes, you did.”

“Renfield: I did not.”

“Dr. Seward: Yes, you did.”

“Renfield: I did not.”

“Dr. Seward: [shouts] I tell you I saw you snatch a spider right out of the air and eat it!

“Renfield: A spider?”

[Swallows the spider in his mouth]

“Renfield: How absurd!”

[A grasshopper jumps onto the patio. He intentionally throws his fork]

“Renfield: Oh! Dropped my fork! [gets on all fours and scrambles under the table for the insect]”

“Dr. Seward: Mr. Renfield, what are you doing down there? This is most unseemly!”

“Renfield: Fork found! [Comes back up] Sorry for the delay.”

[The grasshopper’s leg is sticking out of Renfield’s mouth, and wriggling about]”

“Dr. Seward: My God, man! You’re eating insects right from the ground!”

“Renfield: …What makes you say that?”

“Dr. Seward: I can see one trying to get out of your mouth!”

“Renfield: Out of my mouth?”

“Dr. Seward: Yes, out of your mouth! Your very own mouth and it’s wriggling about!”

“Renfield: Don’t be ridiculous! Wriggling!”

“Dr. Seward: I’m not ridiculous at all! It’s wriggling all over the place! The poor thing, it’s fighting for its life!”

[Renfield eyes the grasshopper’s leg, which has fallen from his mouth and quickly scoops it up]

“Renfield: I don’t know what you’re talking about. If you insist on ranting like this, I’m going to leave!”

“Dr. Seward: Me, ranting? You’re the ranter!

[Renfield spots a fly]

“Renfield: [to the fly] Hello, little darling!”

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[Grabs the air in attempt to catch the fly]

“Renfield: Don’t be afraid!”

[Laughs in a strange tone]

“Renfield: I won’t hurt you! All I want is your life!”

[Renfield does a body slam across Dr. Seward’s lap, and knocks everything off the table. Renfield is soon grabbed by two asylum attendants.]

“Dr. Seward: That’s it! Put him in a straight jacket and give him an enema! Wait! Wait, wait… Give him the enema FIRST. THEN put him in a straitjacket.”

“Lucy Westenra: I know you’ve always wanted me, and I’ve always wanted you. Finally we can be together.”

“Jonathan Harker: But Lucy, I’m engaged to Mina… and you’re dead.”

“Lucy Westenra: I’m not dead. I’m undead.”

“Jonathan Harker: Yes, well, I’m not unengaged.”

“Lucy Westenra: Jonathan, let me kiss you…let me show you the deep, raw, passion of unbridled sexual frenzy…”

“Jonathan Harker: But, Lucy! I’m British!”

[Lucy opens her cleavage a little]

“Lucy Westenra: So are these!”

“Jonathan Harker: Lucy!”

“Jonathan Harker: [having just been told to drive a stake into Lucy] Oh, this is horrid. Is there no other way?”

“Van Helsing: Well, we could cut off her head, stuff her mouth with garlic, and tear off her ears.”

“Jonathan Harker: …Give me the stake. No. No, I can’t… you do it.”

“Van Helsing: It must be done by one who loved her in life.”

“Jonathan Harker: I only liked her!”

“Van Helsing: Close enough!”

[Jonathan is about to stake Lucy’s heart]

“Van Helsing: One, two—WAIT! [Van Helsing slinks back behind a pillar] NOW!”

[Jonathan drives a stake into Lucy’s heart and is subsequently hit by many gallons of blood]

“Jonathan Harker: Oh… my… GOD! There’s so much blood!”

“Van Helsing: She just ate!”

“Jonathan Harker: Ah! She-she’s still moving!”

“Van Helsing: Hit her again!”

“Jonathan Harker: Oh no… I can’t…”

“Van Helsing: How much blood can she have left?”

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[Jonathan hits the stake again and is hit with even more blood than last time]

“Van Helsing: She’s almost dead!”

“Jonathan Harker: She’s dead enough. Oh! This is – this is ghastly!”

“Van Helsing: Yes, you’re right. We should have put newspapers down!”

[after staking Lucy, Jonathan is drenched in blood, while Van Helsing is spotless]

“Dr. Van Helsing: I have been to many, many stakings. You have to know where to stand.”

[Dracula is hypnotizing a valet at the theatre where Doctor Seward is enjoying an opera]

“Dracula: You will tell Doctor Seward there is a message for him in the lobby… and you will remember nothing of what I tell you.”

[The valet nods her head, opens the curtain to Seward’s chambers, and stands there with her mouth open for a few moments, then closes the curtain]

“Valet: [noticing Dracula standing there] Hello, can I help you sir?”

“Dracula: [mimicking her] Can I help you sir? [normally] What is the matter with you, why did you not tell him?”

“Valet: About what?”

“Dracula: About the message!”

“Valet: For whom?”

“Dracula: Never mind! I will tell him myself. And for your miserable performance, you will receive no tip!”

“Valet: No tip?”

“Dracula: Ah! That, you remember!”

[Dracula picks up Jonathan by the throat]

“Dracula: Arrogant mortal! You are in my world now, and you will never leave this attic alive! I will destroy you, and then I will possess she whom you love
the most. And there is not a single thing in the world you can do to stop me!”

[Dracula laughs. Jonathan pokes him in the eyes and Dracula drops Jonathan]

“Dracula: Ow!”

“Dr. Seward: Give him an enema.”

[Attendant looks taken aback.]

“Attendant: An enema, sir?.”

“Dr. Seward: Yes, it’ll give him a feeling of accomplishment.”

[Dracula is outside Mina’s room]

“Dracula: [to the maid] Essie… Essie… Your eyelids are growing heavy. You will sleep… sleep.”

[Essie nods off to sleep]

“Dracula: Mina… Mina, open your eyes!”

[She does]

“Dracula: Arise, Mina.”

[She does]

“Dracula: Walk to the door.”

[Mina opens a door, and goes inside]

“Dracula: Mina… you are in the closet. Open the door, and come out.”

[She does]

“Dracula: Now walk to the terrace door. Watch out for the foot…”

[Mina trips over the footstool]

“Dracula: …Stool. Stand up.”

[Essie and Mina both rise]

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“Dracula: Not you. Sit!”

[Mina sits]

“Dracula: No, not you, you sit.”

[Essie sits]

“Dracula: You stand.”

[Both stand]

“Dracula: No! Sit!”

[Both sit]

“Dracula: No, you stand!”

[Both stand]

“Dracula: You walk to the terrace door, and you go back to sleep! Watch out!”

[Essie and Mina bump into one another and fall to the floor. Dracula throws his arms up in frustration]

“Dracula: Wait there I am coming, Turn off the lights so no one will see me coming”

[Dracula enters the house and exits the house, carrying a body]

“Dracula: [carrying Essie out instead of Mina] You will be my bride throughout eternity. We’ll share the endless passion of immortal love.”

“Essie: Oh I can’t wait!”

“Dracula: [stares at her in surprise] NOT YOU!”

“Dracula: [takes her back inside and throws her on the floor, and carries Mina out, speaking and walking very fast] You will be my bride throughout eternity,
we’ll share the endless passion of immortal love!”


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