70+ Dirty Jokes Reddit That You Can Think and Laugh!

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funny dirty jokes reddit

What is so special about jokes? Is it the freshness that it brings or the perils of laughter that it sets in or the very fact that it eases out our stress in no time? Well, the answer is everything? Jokes are a great escape strategy from a complex world we live. Especially these new age jokes are even more hilarious enough to make you laugh for days together!

Keeping in view of the buzz caused by Dirty Jokes Reddit we have compiled 70+ Dirty Jokes Reddit That You Can You think and Laugh at any time! What’s more they even tickle your funny bones for miles together!

Here is your gateway for 70+ Dirty Jokes Reddit

Saw this on reddit a long time prior and preferred it:

A biker strolls into a bar and plunks down on a bar stool close to the finish of the bar.

He investigates the menu and it peruses as pursues:

Burger – 2.99

Cheeseburger – 3.99

Chicken Sandwich – 4.99

Hand Jobs – 19.99

The dried up old biker waves the barkeep down, and up strolls this tall, full bosomed, wonderful redhead in her mid-twenties. She grins at the biker bashfully, and he asks in a tranquil voice “Are you the person who gives the hand employments?” The barkeep becomes flushed somewhat and says “Truly, I am” with a provocative little grin.

What did the pariah state to the prostitute?

Keep the tip.

A family strolls into a lodging and the dad goes to the front work area and he says “I trust the pornography is crippled.” The person at the work area answers. “It’s simply standard pornography you wiped out fuck.”

  1. How would you detect a visually impaired man in a nudist camp?
  2. It’s not hard.

So, the next time if you come across such situation, just read these 70+ Dirty Jokes Reddit and feel the difference!

What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle?
“Wipe it off and say you’re sorry.”

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What do you do if your wife starts smoking?
“Slow down and possibly use some lubricant.”

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How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?
“…it’s not hard.”

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Why did the sperm cross the road?
“Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.”

funny dirty jokes reddit Why do mice have such small balls?
“So few of them know how to dance.”

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A guy is sitting at the doctor’s office.
“The doctor walks in: ‘Sir, I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating.’
Patient: ‘I don’t understand, doc. Why?’
Doctor: ‘Because I’m trying to examine you.’”

What’s the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period?
“You get your palm red for free.”

What’s worse than ants in your pants?
“Uncles.”

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
“She gagged.”

How do you know that you have a high sperm count?
“She has to chew before she swallows.”

Three tampons are sitting at a bus stop. What do they say to each other?
“Nothing. They’re stuck up cunts.”

If a midget tells you your hair smells nice…
“…is that sexual harassment?”

How do you get a Nun pregnant?
“Dress her up as an altar boy.”

Know what old pussy tastes like?
“Eh. Depends.”

If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke.
“If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck.”

Why don’t pedophiles compete in races?
“They always come in a little behind.”

Why does a mermaid wear seashells?
“Because she outgrew her B-shells!”

What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
“I’ve never had a lentil on my chest.”

Two deer walk out of a gay bar…
One says to the other, ‘Man, I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there!’”

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A man is sitting at the bar, his head in his hands.
“Bartender: What’s the matter buddy?
Man: It’s the worst thing ever. I caught my wife in bed with my best friend.
Bartender: Oh man that really sucks! What did you do?
Man: I told her to pack her shit and get the hell out!
Bartender: What about your best friend?
Man: I looked him straight in the eyes and said BAD DOG!”

What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
“The taste.”

What does Trisha put behind her ears to attract men?
“Her ankles.”

What did one lesbian vampire say to another lesbian vampire?
“Same time next month?”

What’s the worst part about going down on your grandmother?
“Banging your head on the lid of the coffin.”

A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre.
“So he gives it to her.”

What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
“Where you stick the cucumber.”

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can?
“Because his wife died.”

Three women are sitting at a bar arguing over who has the biggest vagina.
“The first girl says, ‘My boyfriend can fit a whole fist up there.’ The second girl says, ‘Ha, my boyfriend can fit two fists and a foot.’ The third girl just smiles as she slides down the bar stool.”

What does a leper say after having sex with a prostitute?
“Keep the tip.”

What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block?
“A beaver dam.”

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.

Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.

What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-a-lotta-puss.

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

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What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick?
The man.

What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years, your job will still suck.

Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.

What do you call a guy with a small dick?
Just-in!

Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.

How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.

What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin’ off.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

What did the O say to the Q?
Dude, your dick’s hanging out.

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.

How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an alter boy.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck on his cock!

What’s slimy cold long and smells like pork?
Kermit the frog’s finger.

What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A tearjerker.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are YOU shaking? She’s going to eat me!

Why did the semen cross the road?
I wore the wrong socks today.

What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.

Why are Penises the lightest things in the world?
Even thoughts can raise them.

What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.

How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
By the taste.

What’s the difference between being hungry and being horny?
Where you put the cucumber.

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What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.

What’s the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?
The hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

Who’s the biggest hoe in history?
Ms. Pac-man, because for 25 cents she swallows balls until she dies.

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