Deez Nuts Jokes is only that: an awful joke. Yet, once in a while a joke is so stunning silly that it rises above its own dreadfulness and arrives at a higher plane of entertaining. You would prefer not to snicker—each self-regarding some portion of your cerebrum is dismissing the roaring motivation. However, you can’t support yourself. That is the point at which you realize you have an awful joke so ghastly that it’s really clever.
Also, the thing is, everybody needs an awful joke from time to time call them “father jokes” in the event that you should, however, it’s not simply fathers who love a decent groaner. In this, we’ve gathered 30+ Deez Nuts Jokes from the best clever terrible jokes that will make them snicker so hard you cry—regardless of how hard you attempt and stand up to.
Here we go!
A male’s two most valuable possessions, and the brag of his masculinity. Generally when the expression “deez nuts” is utilized it is to display one’s genital prevalence over either increase an incredible dismiss or simply piss them.
Me: Do you like farces?
Unfortunate casualty: uh… definitely in some cases
Me: well how you would like a couple o’ Deez NUTS ENYA Mouth?!
Me: You at any point been to Chewons?
You: Whats Chewons?
Me: Chew on Deez Nuts
“Need two CD’s?”
“Need to see deez nuts?!?”
“Hello let me get your vehicle.”
“Why not obtain deez nuts.”
Do you incline toward tapes or discs?
Well observe deez nuts.
Now you realize how different these Deez Nutes Jokes are! So the next time, if you want a break from your regular routine, just read these 30+ Deez Nuts Jokes That Aren’t So Bad Yet Funny for a new experience!
“Honeys be like “Meth”; I be like “What?”.
“We want some free CDs”; I be like “See Deez Nuts!”
You ask Do you dance to Oldies? If so, you reply You dance to hold deez nuts!
Me: Do you like parodies?
Victim: uh…yeah sometimes
Me: well how’d you like a pair o’ Deez NUTS ENYA Mouth?!
Make sure your dick is clean
Rub it up with vasoline
“Hey, do you want some tape and CD’s?”
“What am I gonna do with that?”
“You can tape my dick to your forehead so you can See Deez Nuts!
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Me: You ever been to Chewons?
You: Whats Chewons?
Me: Chew on Deez Nuts
“Want two CD’s?”
“Want to see deez nuts?!?”
“Hey let me borrow your car.”
“Why don’t you borrow deez nuts.”
Do you prefer tapes or cds?
Well see deez nuts.
Ask someone Do you want to see bofa? They respond Sure, why not? You then call out Bofa Deeeeeez Nuts! It is then up to you whether you honor their request to actually see bofa.
Ask a baseball fan, Circa 1999, did you want the Yankees or the Expos to win the World Series. This is a win-win. If they say Expos you yell Expose deeeeeeeeeeez nuts!! It is then up to you whether or not you expose doze nuts. If they say Yankees, you yell Yank on Deez nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts! but dont allow them to yank on your nuts.
Call out someone, Hey Phil, even if they are not Phil. When they respond, Phil who? it is your chance to exclaim Phil Deeeeeez Nuts!
Ask someone Have you tasted Captain Ds? When they respond as to whether or not theyve eaten food from the popular seafood restaurant, you get to verify, Captain Deeeeeeeez Nuts?!
Ask your friend, Do you know anyone who has Feltys? If they are unfortunate to have a friend who has Feltys syndrome (which according to [ Register or Signin to view external links. ] is a complication of long-standing rheumatoid arthritis), it is your opportunity to exclaim Felt Deez Nuts!!!!
Ask your scholarly friend, Do you prescribe to the theories of Dr. Rubdy? If they have read the paper Sensitizing Learners Towards a More Productive Classroom Participation: an ‘Exploratory’ Approach by Rani Rubdy of the National University of Singapore, they are likely to respond with a resounding yes. Then it is your turn to shout Rub Deeeeez Nuts!!! If they ask who Dr. Rubdy is, you say Rub Deeeez Nuts! then grab your crotch, and then explain that Dr. Rubdy wrote a very important paper on class participation.
Do you know George Lichty? They may know that he is the author of a book titled Grin and Bear It, or they may not. But either way, you get to say George Lich Deez Nuts!
You can ask When you watched Alias, were you a fan of Rimbaldi? There will be one of two responses. Ive never seen Alias. Who is Rimbaldi? Or they will say Yes, I love Rimbaldi. Either way, you have the chance to shout Rimbald Deeeez Nuts!!!!
You can ask, Do you want a bag of goodies? Everyone should say yes. Then you get to say A bag of good Deeeeeeeez Nuts!
When your friend looks to be suffering from allergies, offer them some Claritin D. Then they accept your offer, clarify. You are willing to give them Claritin Deeeeeez Nuts!
Is your favorite New Orleans Saint Reggie Bush or Drew Brees? If they say Bush, you get to chuckle at the obvious juvenile reference. But if they chose the star quarterback, you yell Drew Breeees Nuuuuuuuuts!
Have you seen the classic film starring David Duchovny called House of D? Your best scenario is that they have no idea what you are talking about. Regardless you yell House of Deez Nuts!
Who is your favorite DJ? Theyll name someone, and unless they are rude, theyll ask yours. Your reply? The only man who I can trust to count down the Weekly Top 40 is Rick Dees. Rick Deez Nuuuuuts!
You ask: “Who makes the better french fries, McDonalds or Wendys? Depending on their response, you get to yell either “Micky Deez Nuts!” or “Wen-Deez Nuts!”
Originality Factor 4: People have been calling McDonalds Micky D’s for a while. On the other hand Wendeez is new.
The Grand Daddy of Them All: Do you like CDs? Wait for itSee Deez Nuuuuuuuts!
Originality Factor 0: This is the first Deez Nuts joke. It rulez, but it is certainly not original.
Come on guys I know we got some old schoolers in here with some classics so let me hear them. Feel free to throw any other good jokes in here as well.
Have you seen Boffa? Boffa who? Boffa deeeez nuts……..I got a few more for later if you get bored tonight bust your wife or your girl it works everytime. And yeah so what I still act like a kid sometimes…stay young
“you wanna beat something, beat these nuts nugga”- The Wash
Who ya got the phils or the yanks?
phil deeez nutz or yank deeez nuts. It worked great when they both went to the world series.
Whats wrong you got the bubleeees.
Yo you seen Heidi? Heidi? yep Heideeeeez nutz in yo mouf.
10 cents for half an hour
In the bed or in the shower
I want my money back
She’s got a filthy crack
So I got by baseball bat
And I gave that crack a whack