70+ Dad Reddit Jokes That Are Damn Hilarious

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funny dad jokes reddit

Jokes are a kingdom on their own! When you hear the very word Joke, you automatically get excited and the adrenaline rush in you gets higher or better sometimes! But on their other hand, have you heard about Dad Reddit Jokes that can leave you in splits in no time?

Well, such is the Dad Reddit Jokes! They are not only great but at the same time, they have the capacity to invoke great humor sense in you and amongst everyone! Here are the much-awaited 70+ Dad Reddit Jokes That Are Damn Hilarious!

Ready to go?

What do you call a phony noodle? An Impasta.

I would dodge the sushi in the event that I was you. It’s somewhat fishy.

Need to hear a joke about paper? Don’t worry about its tearable.

For what reason did the treat cry? Since his dad was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe reusing shop. It was sole crushing.

How would you sort out a space party? You planet.

I went to a fish disco a week ago… what’s more, pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken juices in mass? The securities exchange.

I cut my finger cleaving cheddar, yet I feel that I may have more noteworthy issues.

My feline was simply wiped out on the floor covering, I don’t believe its catlike well.

For what reason did the octopus beat the shark in a battle? Since it was very much equipped.

What amount does a trendy person gauge? Instagram.

What did daddy insect state to child bug? You invest a lot of energy on the web.

Skepticism is a non-prophet association.

There’s another kind of floor brush out, it’s generally the country.

What cheddar can never be yours? Nacho cheddar.

Now, you know why need such Reddit Dad Jokes?  So sit back! And enjoy these 70+ Dad Reddit Jokes That Are Damn Hilarious!

Dad, did you get shot in the army? No, son. I only got shot in the leggy.

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Dad: “Someone among us is an owl.”
Me: “Who?”
Dad: *narrows eyes suspiciously*

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“Would you like the milk in the bag?”
Dad: “No thanks, you can keep it in the carton.”

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Dad: “Nice shirt, is that felt?”
Not Dad: “No.”
Dad: *reaches over and touches sleeve* “It is now!”

funny dad jokes reddit

Dad at breakfast: “I’ll have bacon and eggs, please.”
Waiter: “How do you like your eggs?”
Dad: “I don’t know, I haven’t gotten them yet!”

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Dad putting car in reverse.
Dad: “Ahh, this takes me back.”

At the park with my girls: “Dad, can we go play?”
Me: “Sure, just stay away from those trees over there.”
Girls: “Umm…OK, why?”
Me: “I don’t know…they look a little shady to me.”

Dad: “Look at that flock of cows over there.”
Kids: “A HERD of cows.”
Dad: “Of course I heard of cows, there is a flock of them right over there.”

When I’m at a restaurant and the waitress says: “Do you wanna box for that?”
I always reply with: “No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.”

Host at a restaurant: “Do you have reservations?”
Dad: “Yeah, but I think we’ll still eat here.”

*Dad buying fake Christmas tree*
Cashier: “Are you going to put it up yourself?”
Dad: “Don’t be disgusting…I’m going to put it up in the living room.”

“I love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back.”

“I haven’t been to the gym in so long I’ve gone back to calling it James.”

“A magician was walking down the street. Then, he turned into a grocery store.”
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“Three guys walked into a bar. You’d think one of them would have seen it.”

Dad at lunch: “Do you have anything cheap cuz I’m not that hungry.”
Waiter: “Well, maybe the chicken strips for $6.”
Dad: “Well, maybe it does, but that doesn’t help my hunger.”

“You know why you never see an elephant hiding in a tree? Because they’re very good at it.”

“What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.”

“If a child doesn’t want to take a nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”

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Wife to husband: “I’m pregnant.”
Husband to wife, trying to be funny: “Hi pregnant, I’m Dad.”
Wife: “No, you’re not.”

“Are you feeling cold? Sit in the corner, it is 90 degrees.”

“You know Orion’s Belt? Big waist of space, huh? Didn’t like that joke? That’s okay…it’s only got 3 stars.”

Dad: “Did you know that the people living nearby actually can’t be buried in that cemetery.”
Kid: “Why?”
Dad: “Because they’re not dead yet.”

“Why do graveyards have gates? Because people are dying to get in.”

“I lost 25% of my roof last night…oof.”

“Someone broke in last night and stole all my antidepressants. I hope they’re happy.”

“What’s Harry Potter’s favorite way to get down a hill?”

“I tell dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs.”

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent.

How long does it take to make butter? An echurnity!

What do you call someone who dresses up like a noodle? An impasta!

Why can’t two elephants go swimming? Because they only have one pair of trunks.

“I drew up plans for Duckingham Palace, but I can’t find them. So I guess we’ll just have to ‘wing’ it.”

What rhymes with orange? No it doesn’t.

Me: “Did you get a haircut?” Dad: “No, I got them all cut.”

Monica: “Okay, I’ve got a leg, three breasts and a wing.” Chandler: “How do you find clothes that fit?”

When is the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!

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What do you call a person who tells dad jokes but has no kids? A faux pa.

Russ: “Dad, this tree won’t fit in our backyard.” Clark: “It’s not going in the yard, Russ. It’s going in the living room.”

The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.

“Sorry, I was all up in your grill about cooking yesterday.”

A genie asked, “What’s your first wish?” Steve answered, “I wish I was rich.” And the genie said, “What’s your second wish, Rich.”

Daughter: “Daddy, why didn’t I get a sunburn?” Dad: “You can’t, honey?” Daughter: “Really?” Dad: “You can only get a daughterburn.”

Pam: “We’re hoping our interview seals the deal.” Jim: “If not, there’s always the army…the infantry.”

To the guy who invented the zero… Thanks for nothing.

I told my husband I hate my haircut. He replied, “Don’t worry, it’ll grow on you.”

What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!

“Call me Delta Airlines ‘cause I can’t handle your extra baggage!”

What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho cheese!

My 3-year-old son said, “Put my shoes on.” I told him, “I think my feet are too big.”

“Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”

I asked my dad if he could put the cat out. He replied, “I didn’t know it was on fire.”

I’ll do algebra, tackle geometry, maybe even a little calculus… But graphing is where I draw the line.

Kathy: “Wow, you have really gorgeous hair.” Chandler: “Thanks, I grow it myself.”

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers

Have you heard the joke about paper? Good that you haven’t, it’s tearable!

How much did the pirate’s new earrings cost him? A buccaneer!

Why did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.

“It takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen.”

Clark: “I’ll have a coke.” Flight attendant: “Do you want that in the can?” Clark: “No, I’ll have it right here.”

“Act like a parent. Talk like a peer. It’s called ‘peer-enting.’”

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

Bert: “Ernie, how do I look?” Ernie: “With your eyes, Bert.”

A guy walked into a bar… And was disqualified from the limbo contest.

I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in.

Most comedians are good, trustworthy people. Yep, they’re a bunch of stand-up guys.

What’s Forrest Gump’s Gmail password? 1forrest1

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Phoebe: “Do you guys know any chicks?” Chandler: “Fowl? No. Women? No.”

A nurse told me, “Sorry for the wait!” I replied, “It’s alright, I’m patient.”

Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it’s the scenter.

“Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you’re William Hurt.”

What happens if a frog parks illegally? They get toad.

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