110+ Corny Dad Jokes That Are So Cute!

funny corny dad jokes

Dad Jokes? Sounds quirky? Why not entertain the children by providing them the best Corny Dad jokes that are circling the town? Here are the 110+ Corny Dad Joke That Are So Cute Yet Satisfying! Not alone that these jokes are also sure to tickle the funny bones of your children and make them laugh for hours together!

Here we go!

We’ve all heard them. They’ve been gotten them with moans, eye rolls, and resenting chuckles. Father jokes are both cherished and loathed—like cliché plays on words, they’re amusing in light of the fact that they’re so not interesting.

In any case, what makes a father joke not quite the same as an ordinary play on words? The mark of a father joke is that it’s completely uncool. Grandmother might be the sovereign of outlandish maxims, yet Dad is unquestionably the ruler of gooey jokes.

But remember that, father jokes aren’t only for fathers. There’s no better method to diffuse strain or make an agreeable, fun loving condition than with a cheesy joke, and these amusing and comical jokes are incredible icebreakers for all ages.

Not exclusively are these jokes sure to help up a group, however they’re really interesting and ensured to gain a few laughs. Beat father unexpectedly at the Thanksgiving table when you’re outfitted with these cunning father jokes.

Include these astute jokes and plays on words to your collection and you’ll be en route to coordinating father’s quip ruler status in a matter of seconds.

To whoever took my duplicate of Microsoft Office, I will discover you. You have my Word!

I’ll call you later. Try not to call me later, call me Dad!

How do big names remain cool? They have numerous fans.

What’s Forrest Gump’s Facebook secret word? 1forest1.

What time did the man go to the dental specialist? Tooth hurt-y.

Did you find out about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He’s completely recouped.

For what reason didn’t the melons get hitched? Since they melon.

What sort of egg did the shrewd chicken lay? A deviled egg.

For what reason did the mentor go to the bank? To recover his quarter.

For what reason does Snoop Dogg consistently convey an umbrella? Fo’ Drizzle.

What did the angler state to the entertainer? Pick a cod, any cod.

What do you call a phony noodle? An impasta.

Which is quicker, hot or cold? Hot, in light of the fact that you can come down with a bug.

How would you sort out a space party? You planet.

Did you realize that milk is the quickest fluid on earth? It’s purified before you even observe it.

For what reason are skeletons so quiet? Since nothing gets under their skin.

What does a child PC call his dad? Information.

So, the next time if your child feels stressed or bored just read out these 110+ Corny Dad Jokes That Are So Cute and give them a whole new experience!

Son: Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?
Dad: No, have you seen my dad glasses?

best corny dad jokes

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Grocery store cashier to Dad: ‘Would you like the milk in a bag?’
Dad: “No, just leave it in the carton!”

corny dad jokes

Me: ‘Hey, I was thinking….’
Dad: “I thought I smelled something burning.”

famous corny dad jokes

Kid: ‘I’ll call you later.’
Dad: “Don’t call me Later—call me Dad.”

funny corny dad jokes Son: Dad, can I watch the TV?
Dad: Sure, just don’t turn it on.

popular corny dad jokes

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.

I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
He let out a little wine.

Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

A furniture store keeps calling me.
All I wanted was one nightstand.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsssshhhh.

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
“Ayy matey!”

Kid: ‘Dad, what’s this movie about?’
Dad: “It’s about two hours.”

I used to be addicted to the ‘Hokey Pokey.’
But then I turned myself around.

Guess what time the man went to the dentist.
Tooth hurt-y.

What is Forrest Gump’s password?

I can cut wood by just looking at it.
It’s true! I saw it with my own eyes.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Life Savers?
They say he made a mint!

Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’
Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’

I heard there was a new store called Moderation.
They have everything there.

Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.

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A termite walks into a bar and asks,
“Is the bar tender here?”

What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?
The flag is a big plus.

How much does a hipster weigh?
An Instagram.

How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little hoarse.

I’m reading a book on the history of glue.
I can’t put it down!

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

Kid: ‘Hold on, I have something in my shoe.’
Dad: “I’m pretty sure it’s a foot.”

Did you hear there was an explosion at a cheese factory in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie.

How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

Two guys walk into a bar…
…the third guy ducks.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have nobody to go with.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

I don’t buy anything with Velcro.
It’s a total rip-off.

This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in there.

I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts!

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s fine; he woke up.

I needed a password that was eight characters long.
So I picked Snow White and the seven dwarfs.

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down.

What’s blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.

Why did they give the scarecrow a promotion?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

I once farted on an elevator.
I was rude on so many levels.

You know people say they pick their nose… but I feel like I was just born with mine!

What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish!

My wife says nothing rhymes with “orange.” And I said, “No, it doesn’t!”

I got my best friend a fridge for his birthday. I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it!

When the grocery store checker asks me if I want my milk in a bag, I say no, I’d rather keep it in the carton.

My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They’re his watch dogs!

I failed my driving test today. The instructor asked me, “What do you do at a red light?” I said, “I usually check my emails and see what people are up to on Facebook.”

The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. Only a fraction of people will understand this.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got all of them cut.

When I was growing up, if I told my Dad I got a haircut he would say, “Which one?”

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

My wife said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?” And I thought, “that’s a pretty weird way to start a conversation.”

What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.

What does a house wear? Address! (A dress)

My wife said I ruined her birthday. I’m not sure how I did that, I didn’t even KNOW it was her birthday!

When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway!

What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.

Why are pediatricians always so angry? Because they have little patients.

Last night I had a dream I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.

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Where do you learn to make ice cream? At sundae school!

What kind of magazines do cows read? Cattlelogs!

How do you spell “candy” with just two letters? C and Y.

What sort of room has no windows or doors? A mushroom!

Did you know the first French fries weren’t really cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece!

Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they are shellfish!

Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? He woke up.

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana…

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

What do lazy farmers grow? Couch potatoes!

You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal will see you later, or after a while.

What days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are week (weak) days!

What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.

A slice of apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks, “Can’t you just use a sponge?”

Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work.

I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

A man found a magic lamp with a genie that offered him three wishes. The man said, “For my first wish, I’d like to be rich.” “Okay, Rich,” said the genie. “What would you like for your second wish?”

6:30 is hands down the best time on the clock.

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5,000 miles.

What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

I went to see the doctor about my blocked ear. “Which ear is it?” he asked. “2018,” I replied.

When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down…

Dad: Why can’t you eat Wookie meat?
Son: I don’t know, why? Dad: Because it’s too chewy…

Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Tom: What?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.

Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.

Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.
“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.
After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

A small boy was at the zoo with his father. They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.
“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”
“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“ …Which bus would I take home?”

Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!

Joe: What does your father do for a living?
Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”
“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”
“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”
A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”
“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

A book never written: “Fatherly Advice” by Buck L. Upson.

Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
Dad: Oh, yeah? When I was your age, I was good for nothing.

Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Westy: Beats me.
Pee Wee: A POPsicle!

Pee Wee: How is the baby bird like its dad?
Westy: How?
Pee Wee: It’s a chirp off the old block.

Dad: How do you like fourth grade?
Son: It isn’t much fun.
Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!

Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit.

Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!

Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
Jan: Was he mad?
Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!

Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
Theo: I love it!
Manny: Why?
Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!

Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on
Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad


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