30+ Colonoscopy Jokes You Will Love To Read

famous colonoscopy jokes

We all know how much we love to crack jokes and laugh with our near and dear ones! Not alone that, we also wish to drown ourselves in a pool of comic sense and ever joke crackling crowd who will make our lives simple, easy and going!

Keeping that in mind, we have compiled 30+ Colonoscopy Jokes That Are So Funny to Read for an awesome reading experience! Not alone that these 60+ Colonoscopy Jokes will also give you a great breather from a complicated lifestyle that we often crib about!

Here we go!

Colonoscopies are serious stuff, however these remarks during the test were very humorous….. A doctor guaranteed that coming up next are real remarks made by his patients (predominately male) while he was playing out their colonoscopies:

  1. ‘Relax, Doc. You’re intensely going where no man has gone previously!’
  2. ‘Discover Amelia Earhart yet?’
  3. ‘Would you be able to hear me NOW?’
  4. ‘Is it true that we are there yet? Is it true that we are there yet? Is it accurate to say that we are there yet?’
  5. ‘You know, in Arkansas, we’re currently legitimately hitched.’
  6. ‘Any indication of the caught excavators, Chief?’
  7. ‘You put your left deliver, you take your left hand out…’
  8. ‘Hello! Presently I know how a Muppet feels!’
  9. ‘In the event that your hand doesn’t fit, you should stop!’
  10. ‘Hello Doc, let me know whether you discover my poise.’
  11. ‘You used to be an official at Enron, didn’t you?’
  12. ‘God, presently I know why I am not gay.’

What’s more, the best one of all?

  1. ‘Might you be able to compose a note for my better half saying that my head isn’t up there?’

Not alone that, these White Jokes also relieves us from shock, distress, strain, and stress and makes us feel light and exacerbation free. So, the next time if something is clouding you, don’t fret! Just read these 30+ Colonoscopy Jokes Collection and see the difference!

“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

best colonoscopy jokes

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“Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!

colonoscopy jokes

“Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?”

famous colonoscopy jokes

“You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out…”

funny colonoscopy jokes

A proctologist intern seems to be the only one who truly understands working one’s way up from the bottom.

popular colonoscopy jokes

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“Find Amelia Earhart yet?”

“Can you hear me NOW?”

“You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.”

“Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”

“Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”

“If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!

“Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”

“You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?”

“Boy, now I know why I am not gay.”
And the best one of all…

While trying to write a report of a test, a proctologist delved his hand to remove his pen only to realized it was his thermometer. Damn! He said “some
asshole still got my pen.

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I went to a hospital one day for a gastroscopy. And there were three other guys in the waiting room. The doctor stepped in closing the door behind him,
explained that I was there for a gastroscopy, which is inserting a camera down the throat and the other three were there for a colonoscopy, which is
inserting a camera down the butt. He then asked if any of us had any questions. I cleared my throat and with a very stern look stacked on my face, I said:
“Yes. Can I go first?”

Two guys were chatting at the hospital lobby. The first guy asked “what you in here for” the second guy responded “I need a camera down my throat to check
for stomach cancer; I think they call it endoscopy” he said. He then asked the first guy “what’re here for” the first guy say “camera down my butt”. “Oh!
You came for colonoscopy; you came to check if you’ve bowel cancer?” the second guy probed further. The first guy said “na! my wife caught me snapping our
neighbor from the distance when he was sunbathing.

Some doctors could be funny sometimes, imagine my doctor telling me he found something alarming in my colonoscopy.

Have you ever heard about the tale of the proctologist and psychiatrist who opened their practice together? They called their clinics “Odds and Ends”

Three guys were discussing and suddenly realized how their cars said a lot about their careers: the first guy is a pimp and drives cheap Escort; the second
guy is a herpetologist and drives a dodge Viper while the third guy is a Proctologist who drives a brown Probe.

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A young lady once had an appointment with a proctologist, after the “probing” the doctor pulled out his pen and said “ma’am do you have any question?” the
lady said yes “does your mummy know what you’re doing.”

Someone once bragged about having inner beauty after seeing the video of his colonoscopy; but no matter how beautiful it is we don’t want to see it.

What would one call an Irish proctologist? Colin O’Scopy.

A proctologist once told me to lie on my left side. I mildly protested that “I always tell the truth on both sides doc!” Just be straight with me”

I went for a colonoscopy the other day. When I got home from work the next day my wife said, “The doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news”,
she said “they found your head”.

A guy has a rather annoying knack of removing his glass eye and taking it to his mouth and then wipe it to clean it. One day he mistakenly swallowed it and
went straight to see a proctologist but failed to narrate what exactly happened. When the Doc put a cam up his butt, he screamed. The guy asked “what’s the
matter doc? “The Doctor replied “I’ve looked at different butts in the course of my career, but is weird yours is looking right back at me”

I wanted to show the video of my colonoscopy to my friends but they all scream that wouldn’t be necessary “we know it’s all crap” Damn! How did they know.

I once chatted with my pal about being referred for a colonoscopy and he told me, “dude! You don’t need that crap you’ve always got your head up your butt,
you should see what’s going up there already.

Seeing my proctologist putting a cam up my butt, I got confused a little “This isn’t an optometrist’s office because this is going to be a long way to take
for an eye exam.

When I went for my first colonoscopy and my doc put a cam up my but, I felt the urge to caution him “take it easy doc, that’s a land no man has been to”
the doc said “oh I visit such land like every day”

I hate when my proctologist keeps asking questions while probing me down there, he reminded me of a cave and a miner “Are you there yet!”

It was somehow weird when my proctologist asked me to lie on my side and he put on his glove and worked his way up my butt, he had this grin on his face and
told me “don’t worry is normal to have an erection” I grinned my face in disbelieve “ I don’t have an erection” he said “oh no! I do”

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I got this jibe from my wife that I always get my head up my butt; so, I went for a colonoscopy and specifically asked my proctologist for a report and the
video too.

So much probing for a colon cancer; there’s got to be more than this my proctologist was looking for! “you see a trapped miner there, doc?”

I see why proctologists insist on calling it a colonoscopy, imagine a lay man describing the test to his pal. This doc just shoved a weird object up my butt and recorded a whole video while at it.

A proctologist and a golfer have something in common: they do a certain number of holes a day; like 10 holes a day, 13 holes a day….


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