60+ Coffee Jokes That You Can Think and Laugh!

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best coffee jokes

What is so special about jokes? Is it the freshness that it brings or the perils of laughter that it sets in or the very fact that it eases out our stress in no time? Well, the answer is everything? Jokes are a great escape strategy from a complex world we live. Especially these new age Coffee Jokes are even more hilarious enough to make you laugh for days together!

Keeping in view of the buzz caused by New Age Jokes, we have compiled 60+ New Age Coffee Jokes That You Can You think and Laugh at any time! What’s more they even tickle your funny bones for miles together!

Here is your gateway for 60+ New Age Coffee Jokes

Espresso jokes loaded up with a caffeine kick!

  1. How are folks simply like espresso?

The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up throughout the night!

  1. What did the espresso fanatic state to his primary care physician?

I don’t have an issue with espresso. I have an issue without it!

  1. What’s the contrast among espresso and your feeling?

I requested espresso.

  1. For what reason did the espresso record a police report?

Since it was robbed.

  1. How does an espresso darling hit on a lady?

I’ve been pondering you a latte.

  1. What do you call a tragic mug of espresso?

Depresso.

  1. How did the trendy person consume his tongue?

He drank his espresso before it was cool.

  1. What’s dark and never works?

Decaffeinated espresso, you supremacist charlatan.

  1. How does Moses make his espresso?

Jews it.

  1. What did the espresso darling name his child?

Joe, clearly.

  1. What did the caffeine someone who is addicted name his felines?

Cream and Sugar.

  1. How would you know whether you’ve had enough espresso?

You channel surf quicker without the remote

So, the next time if you come across such situation, just read these 60+ New Age Coffee Jokes and feel the difference!

Q: Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage?
A: Because it’s GROUNDS for divorce!

best coffee jokes

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Q: What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
A: De-calf-inated!

coffee jokes

Q: How do you make Pig Jerky?
A: Give them some coffee.

famous coffee jokes

Q: Why are men are like coffee?
A: The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!

funny coffee jokes

Q: What do Chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
A: They are all better rich!

popular coffee jokes

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Q: Why are all Jewish men required to make a good cup of coffee?
A: Because according to the Torah He Brews!

Q: Why is Starbucks removing the trans-fat from their menu?
A: Because they want that Frappacino to pad your ass without clogging your arteries!

Q: What is best Beatles song?
A: Latte Be!

Q: What do you call sad coffee?”
A: Despresso. If you say “Pumpkin Spice Latte” into a mirror three times, a white girl in yoga pants will appear and tell you all her favorite things about fall.

Q: Why can Starbucks get away with charging outrageous prices for coffee?
A: Because they have Italian titles for everything!

Q: What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
A: Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!

Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic
A: Sanka What did the doctor say when a baby was born holding a Starbucks latte? “Its a white girl.”

Q: Why do I not like hot drinks?
A: It’s just not my cup of tea.

Q: Did you know it’s a sin for a woman to make coffee?
A: Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says . . “He-brews”

Q: What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
A: Java the Hut!

Q: What’s the opposite of coffee?
A: Sneezy.

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Q: What do you call a baby calf that’s lost his head?
A: De-calf

Q: What do you call Java that won’t stop brewing?
A: Stand your ground coffee.

Q: Why Coffee is better than a Woman?
A: Coffee goes down easier!

Q: Where does birds go for coffee?
A: on a NESTcafe

Q: Why do white women prefer black coffee?
A: Because they can take black coffee home to their parents!

How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!

What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!

What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.

Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.

How does a coffee lover hit on a woman?
I’ve been thinking about you a latte.

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso.

How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.

What’s black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard.

How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.

What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.

RELATED: 110+ Funny Animal Jokes That Are So Mind-Blowing

What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.

How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.

How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.

What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!

Why are all Jewish men required to make a good cup of coffee?
Because according to the Torah, He Brews!

How does one bad cup of coffee end a marriage?
One person think its grounds for divorce.

What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!

How is it a sin for a woman to make coffee?
The Bible clearly says “He-brews”

What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!

How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.

What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.

What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!

How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.

A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”

What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.

Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!

“Hey barista, how much for a cup of coffee?” says a customer.
“Two dollars,” replies the barista, “and refills are free.”
“Great. Then I’ll have a refill,” answers the customer.

People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning
No, I say. I just bring him some coffee.

Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.

Don’t think I could cope with a job as a coffee taster. How do they sleep at night?

Al Pacino’s brother, Cap, is famous for his coffee.

I had a cup of coffee with a penguin yesterday. He said he would have preferred a fish.

Jean-Paul Sartre is in a cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Sir, but we’ve got no cream. How about with no milk?”

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What’s Dracula’s favourite type of coffee? Decoffinated.

What type of coffee is like a cow who has just given birth? De-calf-inated.

Not a fan of roller coasters. My coffee cup keeps moving across the table.

Popped into the local garage, and the mechanic was having a coffee. Think he was on a brake.

I had a coffee today that was so recently ground it still tasted like mud.

I’ve got an old bag of coffee grounds that I keep for sedimental reasons

Before I have a dangerous coffee, I like to have safe tea first.

Someone just ran off with my coffee. Think I’ve been mugged…

One cup asks another if he wants to see which once can hold most coffee. The other says, “no, that’s a mug’s game”.

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