100+ Chuck Norris Jokes That Are So Funny

Popular Chuck Norris Jokes

Hey! Have we heard about Chuck Norris before? Well, wait isn’t he the casanova of the Hollywood and also the man who makes the impossible possible? But wait, do we have more than that on this adorable Guy whom we love to talk about?

Well, keeping that in mind, we have compiled 100+ Chuck Norris Jokes That Are So Funny to read yet at the same time ridiculous. So, get set and enjoy a new age experience that will showcase Chuck Norris in a more trendsetting manner!

All ready?

Chuck Norris Jokes are ironical tidbits about American military craftsman and on-screen character Chuck Norris that have turned into an Internet marvel and therefore have turned out to be across the board in pop culture. The ‘realities’ are regularly silly hyperbolic cases about Norris’ strength, disposition, virility, modernity, and manliness.

Chuck Norris Jokes have spread the world over, driving not exclusively to deciphered renditions, yet additionally producing confined adaptations referencing nation explicit ads and other Internet marvels. Implications are additionally some of the time utilized roundhouse kicks to perform apparently any undertaking, his huge measure of body hair with explicit respect to his facial hair, and his job in the activity TV arrangement Walker, Texas Ranger.

Chuck Norris Jokes initially began showing up on the Internet in mid-2005. At first conveyed in the Something Awful discussions, the “realities” focused on Vin Diesel, in light of his film The Pacifier. Following a couple of months, discussion individuals picked Chuck Norris to be the new subject. Conan O’Brien’s Chuck Norris jokes on Late Night with Conan O’Brien which for the most part focus on Walker, Texas Ranger has been viewed as a motivation for the trend. The misrepresented style of these cases is like a repetitive Saturday Night Live sketch called “Bill Brasky”.

Because of the fame of this wonder, comparative jokes have been made for different big names, just as anecdotal characters. So the next time, if you come across any Chuck Noris Movies or anyone mentioning about Chuck Noris, just read these 100+ Chuck Norris Jokes That Are So Funny for a thrilling experience!

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Best Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris Jokes Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s secret.

Famous Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

Funny Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver… and wins.

Popular Chuck Norris Jokes

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Chuck Norris once walked away from a fight with two broken ribs and a dislocated arm. He hasn’t given them back yet…

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not “attempt” murder.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell him.

When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: “What is courage?” He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.

Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.

When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn’t try to survive. The zombies do.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack… even a heart isnt foolish enough to attack Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a broken Guitar Hero controller.

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

Chuck Norris’s computer has no “backspace” button, Chuck Norris doesn’t make mistakes.

Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris’s daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.

The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.

Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.

When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Chuck Norris’s Blood Type is AK-47.

Chuck Norris doesn’t play “hide-and-seek.” He plays “hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you.”

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris’ PC will crash.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

Chuck Norris’ dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it’s beef.

Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.

Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.

Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.

Chuck Norris CAN find the end of a circle.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris has a diary. It’s called the Guinness Book of World Records.

Chuck Norris can speak French… In Russian.

Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn’t real, it’s when he learns Chuck Norris is.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn’t dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick.

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Chuck Norris?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Chuck can divide by zero.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11…. a suicide.

Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.

When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.

Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.

If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.

A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris found the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris can rub two pieces of fire together and make wood.

Chuck Norris eats habanero peppers to cool down on a hot day.

Chuck Norris can hear faster than the speed of sound.

Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.

Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a round room.

Chuck Norris doesn’t teabag , he potato sacks.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon

Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.


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