120+ Christmas Jokes That Are So Cute!

famous christmas jokes

Christmas Jokes? Sounds quirky? Why not entertain the children by providing them the best Christmas Jokes that are circling the town? Here are the 120+ Christmas Jokes That Are So Cute Yet Satisfying! Not alone that these jokes are also sure to tickle the funny bones of your children and make them laugh for hours together!

Here we go!

The jokes found inside Christmas saltines are celebrated for making the family laugh just as a snicker. Great Christmas saltine jokes are good jokes, but at the same time are guiltless. It is said this unites the family and is a decent leveler.

Political jokes, for example, “For what reason was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager? … She couldn’t run a steady government” are entertaining – yet they don’t work around the Christmas table. In the event that you need to state to the seven-year-old that “I’ll clarify when you’re more seasoned”, you ought to have purchased various wafers.

Most saltine jokes are question-answer sets: “Q: Why did the horse need to swish? A: Because it was a little steed.” Adjacency sets like this are the bedrock of discussion, so the structure of the joke encourages family communication.

As such, it is quite difficult to peruse a saltine joke quietly or to hear the initial segment of the joke without attempting to supply the subsequent part. Most saltine jokes are quips. They rely upon words having various implications (“Why are Christmas trees exceptionally awful at sewing?

Since they generally drop their needles”) or on two words or mixes of words sounding rather similar (“What is great King Wenceslas’ preferred pizza? One that is profound skillet, fresh and even”) or on concocted words that sound like genuine ones (“What do Santa’s little assistants learn at school? The mythical person abet”).

So, the next time if your child feels stressed or bored just read out these 120+ Christmas Jokes That Are So Cute! And give them a whole new experience!

Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas? Noël Coward!

best christmas jokes

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What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsilitis!

christmas jokes

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!

famous christmas jokes

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments!

Holiday Tree Wool Pet CaveCredit: Bed Bath & Beyond

What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”

popular christmas jokes

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What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!

What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker!

Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker!

What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards!

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!

Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!

How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle!

What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes!

What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack!

What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!

What’s the most popular Christmas wine? ‘But I don’t like Brussels sprouts!’

What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? A mistle-toad!

What carol is heard in the desert? ‘O camel ye faithful!’

How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? Only 25, there’s no L!

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!

How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels!

How does Christmas Day end? With the letter Y!

What happened to the turkey at Christmas? It got gobbled!

What is white and minty? A polo bear!

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Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb? Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug!”

Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen!

What cars do elves drive? Toyotas!

What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.

What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? This one will sleigh you!

How do you lift a frozen car? With a Jack Frost!

Which holiday mascot has the least spare change? St. Nickel-less!

What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery? Welfy!

How did the bauble get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life!

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph!

Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them!

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus!

Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!

And here’s some modern Christmas cracker jokes:
Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager? She couldn’t run a stable government!

Why don’t Southern Rail train guards share advent calendars? They want to open the doors themselves!

What’s the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year!

Kim Jong Un will play Santa this year in the South’s annual pantomime. He said he fancied a Korea change!

Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree? Because people kept saying “moron” to him!

Why was the planned Ryanair TV documentary scrapped? They were unable to air a pilot!

Which TV Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year? Deal Or No Deal!

Theresa May has asked Santa for a home makeover this year. First thing on the list was a new Cabinet!

What did Bruce Forsyth say when the Christmas pheasant repeated on him? “Good game, good game!”

Why did Jeremy Corbyn ask people not to eat sprouts on Christmas Day? He wants to give peas a chance!

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky? Looks like rain, dear!

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Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone!

What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost clause!

What part of the body do you only see during Christmas? Mistletoe!

What do the elves cook with in the kitchen? Utinsels!

What’s the difference between Santa Clause and a knight? One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh!

What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping!

Where do Santa and his reindeer go to get hot chocolate while flying in the sky? Star-bucks.

What do sheep say at Christmas? A Merry Christmas to Ewe!

Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole? There’s o well, no well!

Which football team did the baby Jesus support? Manger-ster United!

What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineapple!

Why is winter a snowman’s favourite time of year? Because they can camouflage!

What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve? Auld Fang Syne!

What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper!

What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle Smells!

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!

When is a boat just like snow? When it’s adrift!

Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws!

Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!

What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh? Santa going through a revolving door!

What is Santa’s favourite place to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho!

What do you call buying a piano for the holidays? Christmas Chopin!

What’s a child’s favourite king at Christmas? A stoc-king!

Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elf-is Presley!

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party? Because he had no body to go with!

How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey? On the dark side!

Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh!

What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells!

Who do Santa’s helpers call when they’re ill? The National Elf Service!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!

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What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!

What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show!

Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care!

How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger!

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered!

How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!

What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas? Cross-mouse cards!

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!

What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky!

What does Santa do with out of shape elves? Sends them to an elf Farm.

Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had a low “elf” esteem!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!

What happens to elves when they behave naughty? Santa gives them the sack.

What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap.

What is a snowmans favorite breakfast? Ice Crispies.

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no-body to go with.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A Mince Spy!

What says ‘Oh Oh Oh’? Santa walking backwards!

What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.

What do zombies eat with their Christmas dinner? Grave-y.

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!

What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Can you smell carrot?

Whats the best Christmas Present? A broken drum – you can’t beat it.

Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners? Rude-alph!

Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly!

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!

Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho, ho, ho.

What do you get if you combine Santa and a duck? A Christmas Quacker!

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceburgers!

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!

What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!

What is a skunks favorite Christmas song? Jingle smells!

What is Santa’s dogs name? Santa Paws!


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