100+ Car Jokes That Are So Mind-Blowing

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car jokes

Who doesn’t love a joke? There can’t be anyone who hates the very concept of jokes or crackling hilarious twists that will drive the funny spirits in you! Well, how about some Car Jokes that will leave you splits in seconds!

Car Jokes are not bad on the whole! So, keeping that in mind we have compiled and edited some amazing and intriguing 100+ Car Jokes That Are So Mind-Blowing and at the same time great to read amongst your circle and near/dear ones!

Here we go for a whole new comical experience.

You will get depleted from snickering so hard at these vehicle jokes.

Having a dreadful day? Wish you could light up your disposition? At that point you are in karma! Here are the absolute best vehicle jokes that will drive you into an attack of chuckling.

What do you consider a Ford Fiesta that came up short on gas?

Ford Siesta.

 

What do you call a Mexican who lost his vehicle?

Carlos.

 

When is a vehicle not a vehicle?

At the point when it moves toward a carport.

 

What sort of vehicle does yoda drive?

toyoda

 

What sort of autos do cooks drive?

Culinary expert rolets.

 

Who can drive every one of their clients away and still profit?

Cabbies.

 

What sort of vehicle does a snake drive?

Ana-Honda.

 

How is a golf ball unique in relation to a Chevy?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

 

What has four haggles?

A waste vehicle.

 

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their autos?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

 

What snakes are found on vehicles?

Windshield snakes.

 

A man drove his costly vehicle into a tree…

Furthermore, discovered how the Mercedes twists

 

What sort of vehicle does a pooch loathe?

CorVETS.

 

I couldn’t work out how to affix my safety belt.

At that point it clicked.

Well, the above Car Jokes are great proof to show that you don’t need to be a satire to crack any jokes! For more such experience read our 100+ Car Jokes That Are So Mind-Blowing!

What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas?
A Ford Siesta.

best car jokes

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What kind of car does yoda drive?
A toyoda

car jokes

What kind of petrol does Vin use?
Diesel.

famous car jokes

What kind of cars do cooks drive?
Chef-rolets.

funny car jokes

Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?
The Old Volks home.

popular car jokes

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What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.

When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway.

Who can drive all their customers away and still make money?
Taxi drivers.

What kind of car does a snake drive?
An Ana-Honda.

How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What snakes are found on cars?
Windshield vipers.

A man drove his expensive car into a tree…
And found out how the Mercedes bends

What kind of car does a dog hate?
CorVETS.

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I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seatbelt.
Then it clicked.

My relationship with my chauffeur just isn’t going anywhere.
It feels like he’s always trying to drive me away.

When the musician got in a car accident, his guitar was destroyed.
The accident was a Fender bender.

What do you call a Norwegian prostitute?
A Fjord Escort.

I ran my Subi into a lake.
Now it’s a Scubaru.

Why can’t motorcycles hold themselves up?
Because they are two-tired.

What’s the difference between BMWs and Porcupines?
Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.

What do you say to a frog who needs a ride?
Hop in.

What part of the car is the laziest?
The wheels, because they are always tired.

What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Want to go for a spin.

Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?
He wanted to bust a move.

What do you call a used car salesman?
A car-deal-ologist.

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He’s all right now.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?
Carpet.

Why are pigs bad drivers?
They hog the road!

What do you get when you cross a Mustang and an elephant?
A convertible with a big trunk.

Where do dogs park their cars?
In the barking lot.

What do you get when you cross a race car with a spud?
Crashed potatoes.

What’s a car’s favorite meal?
Brake-fast.

What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S?
Automobile.

Why do chicken coops have only two doors?
If they had four, they would be chicken sedans.

What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad!

My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.

A man who runs behind a car will get exhausted.
But man who runs in front of a car will get tired.

I got gas for $1.39 today. Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.

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With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it’s only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy’s truck leaves him too.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.

How do you know if someone is hitchhiking or just complimenting your driving?

A dad is washing the car with his son. After a moment, the son asks his father, “Do you think we could use a sponge instead?”

My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.

I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.

Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”

My wife had her driver’s test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

My sister bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti. U should of saw her face as I drove pasta.

Isn’t it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

I forgot my coffee this morning so I’m gonna drive on the rumble strips along the side of the road all the way to work just to be safe.

Subway is definitely the healthiest fast food available because they make you get out of the car.

What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing Taxi.

Don’t worry guys, my wife just turned the car radio down so we shouldn’t be lost much longer.

What’s a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Recently, I’ve tried to make a car without wheels.
I’ve been working on it tirelessly.

I just got fired from my job as a taxi driver.
Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.

Get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great trade!

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

I recently got a new Korean mechanic but it’s hard to understand him – he speaks with a Hyundai Accent!

Last Father’s Day my son gave me something I always wanted: the keys to my car.

I called a suicide hotline in Afghanistan. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Edit: Wow, can’t believe this blew up.

How do you know an Asians just robbed your house? Your homework is done and he’s still trying to get out with your car.

A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway…
Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!

I always adjust the seat and mirrors when I drive my husband’s car so he doesn’t forget he’s married.

I used to work at a fire hydrant factory couldn’t park nowhere near the place.

Two dogs are walking along a street. They are passed by a third dog driving a lorry load of logs. One turns to the other and says: “He started fetching a stick and built up the business from there.”

I’ve never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects.

If you run in front of a car you’ll get tired, but if you run behind the car you’ll get exhausted.

I bought a new Japanese car. I turned on the radio… I don’t understand a word they’re saying.

A mate said he saw several elderly men repairing shoes in the back of a van. I reckon it’s a load of old cobblers.

I work to buy a car to go to work.

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What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

What do you get when you cross an Asian with a black? A car thief who can’t drive.

I didn’t realize how bad of a driver I was until my sat nav said, “In 400 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out.”

Has anyone heard the news about a festival in the US where a girl got her head stuck on a truck oversized tailpipe? Apparently she was exhausted…

I like when flies won’t leave my car on long road trips. Have fun moving to Kansas, you tiny idiot.

Cop: “Have you been out drinking?”
Me: “Uh yeah, I’m 28, I’ve been out drinking literally hundreds of times.”

Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? He couldn’t afford plane fare.

Two cheese trucks ran into each other. De brie was everywhere.

What is a lacrosse players favorite type of car? A dodge!

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver!

My annoying little cousin keeps bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Well, a joke’s on you, you little shit. I sleep in a real car.

I’m like a bird… I shit on people’s cars.

Sometimes, when I’m cruising the city in a $200K vehicle, I lean back and think, “If the bus driver doesn’t speed up I’ll be late for work.”

What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christler.

The Best way to get back on your feet is to miss a couple of car payments!

I’m on the highway to hell, but ran over the pothole to hell and need the roadside assistance to hell.

The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.

I took my new car back to the dealers, complaining it only did left turns – “drive in the opposite direction then” he said.

The real reason I keep my car messy is just in case anyone ever tries to steal it maybe they will feel sorry for me instead.

I don’t want to be a millionaire. I just want to have enough money to stare off into the distance while pumping gas.

You’re so old that your first car was a covered wagon.

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