80+ Blonde Jokes That Are So Cute!

0
0

Blonde Jokes? Sounds quirky? Why not entertain the parody by reading the best Blonde Jokes that are circling the town? Here are the 80+ Blonde Jokes That Are So Cute yet satisfying! Not alone that these jokes are also sure to tickle your funny bones of your and make you laugh for hours together!

Here we go!

Blonde jokes are a class of jokes dependent on a generalization of a stupid blonde lady. These jokes are about individuals, by and large ladies, who have blonde hair fill in as a type of blonde versus brunette contention.

They are regularly viewed as unfavorable the same number of are negligible variations on conventional ethnic jokes or jokes about other recognizable gatherings that would be viewed as increasingly hostile

At times, even kids about or with stereo normally morons have coursed since the seventeenth-century parody with just the wording and focused on gatherings changed. Not alone that some blonde jokes also depend on sexual diversion to depict or generalization their subjects as indiscriminate.

A considerable lot of these are reworded on sorority young lady or Essex young lady jokes, much as different jokes about imbecilic blondies depend on long-running ethnic jokes. Blonde jokes almost consistently take the entire sect of the blondie putting herself in a circumstance or making a remark that serves to feature her alleged wantonness and additionally absence of insight, lack of regard and awkwardness. The blonde of the joke is frequently put in an irregular circumstance with a brunette or redhead.

This goes on to prove that the development of a class of meta-kids about blondies is noted and has also found a place in the comedy genre.  In a common plot of this sort a blondie whines about the injustice of the generalization engendered by blonde jokes, with a turn of phrase really strengthening the stereotype.

So, the next time if you feel stressed or bored just read out these 80+ Blonde Jokes That Are So Cute! And give yourself a whole new experience!

How do you drown a blonde in a submarine? Knock on the door.

best blonde jokes

RELATED: 100+ Chuck Norris Jokes That Are So Funny

Why can’t a blonde dial 911? She can’t find the eleven.

blonde jokes How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.

famous blonde jokes

What’s a blondes idea of safe sex? Lock the car doors.

funny blonde jokes

Why were there bullet holes in the mirror? A blonde tried killing herself.

popular blonde jokes

RELATED: 200+ Clean Jokes That Are So Touching!

Blonde: What does IDK stand for?
Brunette: I don’t know
Blonde: Why doesn’t anyone know!

How come it takes so long to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head.

What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? “Omg, donut seeds!”

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, ‘It’s dark in here isn’t it?’ The other replied, ‘I don’t know; I can’t see.’

What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A thought.

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said ‘concentrate’.

Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

How did the blonde die while raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.

A blonde decided to paint a room. When her husband got home, he asked, ‘Why are you wearing an Alaskan and a winter coat?’ She replied, ‘The can said for
best results apply 2 coats.’

How can you make a blonde go on the roof? Tell her that drinks are on the house.

Three blondes walk into a building. You’d think one of them would’ve seen it.

Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm.

RELATED: 120+ Corny Jokes That Are Damn Hillarious

Why can’t blondes make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.

Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.

One yells to the other, ‘How do you get to the other side?’

The other blonde replies, ‘You are on the other side!’

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in her ears.

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.

Why did the blonde put water on her computer? To wash the Windows.

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.

A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, It got cold so I turned off the fan.

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.

How can you tell when a brunette is actually a blonde who dyes her hair? When she trips over the cordless phone.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? I wonder if it’s mine.

A man walks by a blonde, who is holding a pig. The man asks, “Where did you get her?” The pig answers, “I won her at the fair.”

Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. The first one said, “Look, it’s deer tracks.” The second one said, “No, it’s wolf tracks”
and before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train.

What do you call a really smart blonde? A golden retriever.

What do UFO’s and smart blondes have in common? You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? “Oh look! Donut seeds!”

How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her.

What do a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them.

I got a compliment on my driving today said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert one time.

They’d just about given up hope of making it out alive when they found a lamp and rubbed it.

Funnily enough, a genie popped out and said they could each have one wish which would come true.

The redhead wished to be back home and poof! She was back home.

The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.

The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”

RELATED: 130+ Dad Jokes That Will Make You Fall In Love with Your Dad

Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.

When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver, “Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?”

The bus driver shakes his head and says, “No, I’m sorry.”

Hearing this, the other blonde leans inside, smiles and asks, “Will it take ME?”

A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

“That’s impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.”

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony then she pushes her knee and screams again, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette, are you?”

She says, “No, I’m really a blonde.”

“I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.”

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The motorist scuffles around in her purse and can’t find it. She says to the cop, “I must have left it at home officer.”

The cop says, “Well, do you have any kind of identification?” The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, “All I have is this picture of myself.”

The cop says, “Let me see it, then.”

So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, “Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You can go now.”

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?”

The other replied, “I don’t know, I can’t see.”

This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker was working.

She stuck her head out and said, “Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…”

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I’d like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. The blonde was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I’d like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied again.

RELATED: 100+ Dark Jokes That Are So Amazing

The blonde didn’t understand how the salesman had recognized her but she was still mad and wanted to get her bargain. This time, she went home and got a haircut and new color, a new outfit, big sunglasses and a big hat. She then waited a few days before she went back and went to the same salesman.

“I’d like to buy this TV,” she said.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied yet again.

Frustrated, she shouted, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

A guy got home from work one evening and found his blonde girlfriend painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin:

“For best results, put on two coats”.

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

He says to her, “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”

When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.

“Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”

The blonde nods and says, “I tell you, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”

“From hunger, you mean?” asks the doctor.

“No, from skipping,” replies the blonde.

A blonde woman visits her husband in prison. Before leaving, she tells a correction officer, “You shouldn’t make my husband work like that. He’s exhausted!”

The officer laughs, saying, “Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell all day!”

The blonde says, “Rubbish! He just told me he’s been digging a tunnel for months!”

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking … and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away … Florida or the moon?”

The other blonde turns and says “Hellooooooo, can you see Florida …?”

How do you know a blonde has been trying to commit suicide?

There are bullet holes in the mirror.

A Blonde was down on her luck and desperately in debt so in her desperation to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground and grabbed a child who was on his own. She took him behind a tree and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.

She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the oak tree next to the slide on the south side of the playground. Signed, Blonde.”

The Blonde then taped the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the oak tree.

The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.

Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. “Awww, look at the dead birdie,” she says sadly.

The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, “Where? Where?”

Two blondes get back to the parking lot only to find they’ve lost the car keys. The first blonde spends ages trying to unlock the car door with a coat hanger before saying, “I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!”

The second blonde replies, “Well you better hurry up. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!”

I went on a date with a blonde woman last night.

“Do you have any kids?” she asked.

“Yes,” I replied. “I have one child that’s just under two.”

She said, “I might be blonde, but I know how many one is.”

A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby.

One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.

The blonde guy turned to his wife and angrily said, “All right, who’s the other father?”

A blonde woman gets on a plane to Detroit and heads for a seat in first class, despite having an economy ticket. A short while into the flight an air hostess notices she’s in the wrong section of the plane and asks her to return to her allocated seat.

The blond simply replies, “No”.

Shocked and confused, the hostess insists once more that she move, but the blond refuses again.

The hostess leaves to go get help from other attendants. Multiple women try their luck at explaining to the blond that she’s in the wrong seat, but none prevail.

Eventually, they seek the help of the Captain.

“She’s blonde, you say?” asks the Captain.

The hostesses nod.

“Shouldn’t be an issue, my wife is blonde,” says the Captain.

He gets up and approaches the woman as the hostesses watch from a distance. After a few seconds the blond quickly gathers her things and heads back to her seat.

The Captain returns to the hostesses. Amazed, they ask him how he did it.

“It’s simple, really” he says, “I just told her first class wasn’t flying to Detroit”

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? Toes go in first!

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”

Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? Because she threw out all the bent ones.

How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she’s pregnant.

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the bathtub.

A blonde said, “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid.”

What did the blonde say when she saw Cheerios? Donut seeds.

I’m blonde. What’s your excuse?

What’s Blonde and dead in a closet? The Hide and Seek Champion from 1995.

After the helicopter crash, the blond pilot was asked what happened. She replied, “It was getting chilly in there, so I turned the fan off.”

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “Are you sure it’s mine?”

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. The sign said, “Disneyland Left”. So they started crying and went home.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you call a dumb brunette? A dirty blonde.

Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them.

Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said “concentrate”!

What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

I’m not dumb, I just have a lot of blonde moments.

How does a blonde high-five? She smacks herself in the forehead.

How does a blonde drown a fish? She puts it in water!

Did you hear they banned fans from doing “The Wave” at all sports events? Too many blondes were drowning.

A blonde heard that accidents happen close to home so she moved!

What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A blowjob with handlebars.

What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear? Thanks for the refill.

What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.

What is a blonde’s favorite color? Glitter.

If pink and glitter were vitamins blondes would be the healthiest people alive.

We all have one ginger friend that claims to be “strawberry blonde”.

What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond’s ear? Data transfer.

I went on a date with a blonde woman last night. “Do you have any kids?” she asked. “Yes,” I replied. “I have one child that’s just under two.” She said, “I might be blonde, but I know how many one is.”

Why was the blonde so proud of herself? She finished a puzzle in 5 hours, the box said 3-5 years.

How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.

Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener? She thought it was diet coke.

16 Blondes are standing outside the bar. Why didn’t they go in? The sign said 18+.

What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A thought.

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head? A Space Invader.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.