80+ Bible Jokes That Are So Touching!

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There is more than what we think about Jokes? Ain’t it? Well, this section is all about Bible Jokes That Are So Touching yet has the magic to make us laugh or enjoy at times of need and stress! So, here is your chance to explore the greatness of such Bible Jokes just the way you want!

These entertaining book of scriptures jokes are made of the custom stuff. Much the same as Samson, they’re certain to bring the house down. So we trust you appreciate this gathering of entertaining book of scriptures jokes of really amazing magnitude. Study them strictly!

Here are our 80+ Bible Jokes That Are So Touching!

To what extent did Cain abhor his sibling?

For whatever length of time that he was Abel.

 

Who was the greatest money related wizard in the Bible?

Noah. He was gliding his stock while every other person was in liquidation.

 

How does Moses make his espresso?

Jews it.

 

At Sunday School the kids were figuring out how as indicated by the Bible God made everything, including individuals.

Johnny gave specific consideration when the instructor revealed to him how Eve was made out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Soon thereafter, Johnny’s mom discovered him lying on his bed as if he were sick, and asked him, “Johnny, what’s wrong?”

Johnny answered, “I have a torment in my side. I believe I will have a spouse.

 

For what reason did the falcon sit on the congregation steeple?

Since it was a feathered creature of ask.

What do they call ministers in Germany?

German Shepherds.

 

When prescription is initially referenced in the Bible?

At the point when God gave Moses two tablets.

Hope you enjoyed reading these Bible Jokes? To read more, just click on our 80+ Bible Joke collection and see the difference!

Q. How do you make Holy Water?
A. Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.

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Q. At what time of day was Adam created?
A. A little before Eve.

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Q. Why did God create man before woman?
A. Because He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

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Q. When was meat first mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Noah took Ham into the ark.

funny bible jokes Q: Where is medicine first mentioned in the Bible?
A: When God gave Moses two tablets.

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Q. Who was the greatest female businessperson in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. (profit)

Q. Who is the shortest person in the Bible?
A. Bildad the Shuhite (shoe-height). Nehimiah (Knee-high-miah) was a close second.

Q. How long did Cain hate his brother?
A. As long as he was Abel.

Q. Where is the first math homework problem mentioned in the Bible?
A. When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply.

Q. Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the chickens on the Ark?
A. Because they were using “fowl” language.

Q: How do we know that cars are in the New Testament?
A: Because Jesus was a car-painter (carpenter)!

Q: What’s the best way to study the Bible?
A: You Luke into it.

Q: How do we know that a lot of people in the Bible used fertilizer?
A: Because they always said, “Lettuce spray.” (Let us pray).

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. He was Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest investor in the Bible?
A. Noah: He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

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Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home. (literally).

Q. Which servant of God was the biggest lawbreaker (sinner) in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. (throwing the stone tablets)

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan the banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no earthly parents besides Adam and Eve?
A. Joshua, son of Nun. (None)

Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.

Question: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Answer: Noah — he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Question: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
Answer: Pharaoh’s daughter — she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little profit. Oops. That should read “prophet”.

Question: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
Answer: Ruth-less.

Question: Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
Answer: Nebuchadnezzar — he was on grass for seven years.

Question: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
Answer: Yahweh drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury, an automobile produced by Pluymouth from 1955 to 1989.
David’s Triumph (a British automobile produced from 1921 to 1984) was heard throughout the land.
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord, an automobile produced continously since 1976.
2 Corinthians 4:8 describes a group traveling in a Volkswagen Bug: “We are hard pressed on every side.”

Question: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Answer: Samson — he brought the house down

Question: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
Answer: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Question: How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:23-24)?
Answer: They were really put out.

Question: What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
Answer: They really raised Cain.

Question: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
Answer: “Your mother ate us out of house and home” (Genesis 3:6).

Question: The ark was built in 3 stories. The top one had a window to let in light. How did the bottom two stories get light?
Answer: They used floodlights.

Question: Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
Answer: David — he rocked Goliath to sleep.

Question: Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
Answer: The thought had never entered his head before.

Question: If Goliath would come back to life today, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?
Answer: No, he already fell for it once.

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Question: What is the best way to get to Paradise?
Answer: Turn right and go straight.

Question: Which of Yahweh’s servants was the Bible’s most flagrant lawbreaker?
Answer: Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

Question: Which area of the Promised Land was especially wealthy?
Answer: The area around the Jordan where the banks kept overflowing.

Question: How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?
Answer: Because Job 16:12 says: “All was well with me, but . . . he seized me by the neck”

Question: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
Answer: When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.

Question: Which Bible character had no parents?
Answer: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).

Question: Why didn’t Noah go fishing?
Answer: He only had two worms.

Question: How do we know that they played cards in the ark?
Answer: Because Noah sat on the deck

Second of 10 Commandments: Thou shall cast no idles.

In the first book of the bible, Guinness, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked: “Am I my brother’s son?”

Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears.

God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother’s birthmark. One of Jacob’s son, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.

Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.

The seventh commandment is: Thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, “a man doth not live by sweat alone.”

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was a taximan.

Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Q. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
A. Because he knew there was something fishy about it.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.

Q. Where was Solomon’s temple located?
A. On the side of his head.

Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A. It’s Christmas, Eve!

Q. How does Moses make his coffee?
A. Hebrews it.

Q. How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
A. By his net income.

Q. Who were Gumby’s favorite Bible characters?
A. Shadrack, Meshack & AhBENDago.

Q. Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
A. Abraham. He knew a Lot.

Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.

Q. Who was the fastest runner in the race?
A. Adam, because he was first in the human race.

Q. Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?
A. He thought he saw a job.

Q. What animal could Noah not trust?
A. Cheetah

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Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A. Ruthless.

Q. On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?
A. Quackers

Q. Which Bible Character is a locksmith?
A. Zaccheus.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).

Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

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