50+ Asian Jokes That Are So Amazing

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funny asian jokes

Want to know more about another genre of jokes? Well here it is! Asian Jokes also called Black Humour have the potential to make us laugh or think in various dimensions! Not alone that, they also offer great comic relief at times of need!

If your quest is centered upon jokes that can make you realize facts and truth with a twist, Asian Jokes is what you should need! Presenting 50+ Asian Jokes That Are So Amazing to read for great comical relief and joy!

Here we go on this collection!

Following quite a while of clamoring for more consideration from the political media, Andrew Yang is at last beginning to get it. It’s not clear however this is the thing that he had at the top of the priority list.

In the days since a week ago’s Democratic discussion, a bunch of journalists have expounded on the fluctuated responses to Yang’s jokes about being Asian. Among the jokes:

His battle rigging plays it up as well. There are caps that perused “MATH,” fastens that allude to Yang as “The Man, The Math, The Legend,” and number crunchers with his name imprinted on them.

Obviously, there’s a group of people for this. Yang has astounded numerous with his notoriety among Democratic essential voters, and he’s been applauded by some Asian-Americans for his quips. Be that as it may, Yang has additionally been scrutinized for progressing hurtful generalizations about Asians by “inhumanely fortifying the model-minority fantasy.” His jokes have been alluded to as “hazardous and exploitative.” He’s been called out and out hacky.

It’s not simply Asian-Americans who are belittled by Yang’s language and the model-minority fantasy, Indiana University’s Ellen Wu told the Washington Post. “The greatest hazard in my brain is … the work that this generalization does to dehumanize, to condemn African-Americans,” Wu said. “I’m not saying Andrew Yang himself is doing this yet that the bigger social work, political work of this generalization that has been around since the 1950s and ’60s has worked in maintaining suspicions about African-Americans.”

On Wednesday, in a meeting with Politico, the business visionary and general essential pay backer said he’s heard the analysis and he doesn’t plan to quit making quips on the stump.

Now you realize why these Asian Jokes are causing the stir! So here is your chance to explore more on this!

Q: What happens when you spin an asian man on a swivel chair?
A: He gets disoriented!

asian jokes

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Guys, enough with the Asian jokes…they’re all the same

best asian jokes

Me: Staring contest. Go!
Me: O.O
Friend: -.-
Me: I win! You blinked! Haha
Friend: You bastard, I’m asian!

famous asian jokes

God made each and everyone of us until he got to China.
Copy paste…copy paste…

funny asian jokes

Q: What do u call an Asian grocery store?
A: A pound

popular asian jokes

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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!

Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.
Asians are so bad at driving, I’m starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

What’s the flattest surface you can iron your clothes on?
Asian girl’s ass.

A black guys is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sounds.
It goes ching chong wu.
So he starts to walk to wear he heard the sound.
Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river.
The black guy ask was that noise.
The Chinese guy say, every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me a name of an old relative.
See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong chun.
The black guy says let me try.
He throws a quarter in and the river says, chimpanzee.

What happened to the Asian when he walked into a wall with a boner?
He hit his nose.

Q: How do you know if you have a asian neighbour?
A: They have been reported in over 10 car accidents on the news, their car has scratches, their on P’s and they park one car on their driveway which is meant for to cars, and they park their second car in front of your house.

What do you name an Asian baby with problems?
Sum ting wong.

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners.
He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.”
“Hans Olaffsen?”, he muses. “How the heck does that fit in here?”
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, “How did this place get a name like ‘Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'”
The old man answers, “Is name of owner.”
The tourist asks, “Well, who and where is the owner?”
“Me, is right here,” replies the old man.
“You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?”
“Is simple,” says the old man. “Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, ‘What your name?’
He say, ‘Hans Olaffsen.’
Then she look at me and go, ‘What your name?’
I say, ‘Sem Ting.'”

If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice.
Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.

Q: What do you call an Asian family tree?
A: A rice bush.

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How do you know if an Asian robbed you?
Your homework is done and cats gone.

Q: How do you know when an Asian robs your house?
A: Your technology has been upgraded, your homework is finished, but he’s still trying to back out of your drive way.

Q: Why can’t 2 Asians make a white baby?
A: Because 2 Wongs don’t make a white.

Q: How do Asian parents name their kids?
A: They drop a tin can down the stairs and it makes the noise Bing ling wata ling ling.

My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping.
-_-

Q. How do you know if a Asian robbed your house?
A. Your HW is done , computer is upgraded, 2 hrs later lil f***er still tryin back off the driveway.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can’t drive.

God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.

Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet?
A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.

A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, ”
Free, sex, free, sex, tonight.”
The guy said,” wow” and her friend says she means 363629.

Q: How do Asians get their name?
A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise.
Example: Dong Ching Lau.

How do you know if you’ve walked into the wrong Chinese bookstore?
It’ll be called “Wong Fook Hing Book Store”.

When a white person delivers an asian baby.
White person: “Congratulations he looks like your husband… mom… cousin… uncle… neighbor…”

My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital.
I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering “Chun Yu Yan” over and over – and then died.
I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial.
Apparently, it means “You’re standing on my oxygen tube.”

Saw this bumper sticker in L.A. – “I’m not drunk, I’m Asian”

A Chinese couple had a black baby.
They named him Sum Sing Wong.

Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.

One day a Jew was giving an Asian a blowjob, then, the Asian said do you have homework.
The Jew said no and they continued the blowjob.
Adam was waiting outside for a long time before he decided to walk in.
He walked in to find the Jew getting it up the bum.
Adam decided he wanted to get some action too, so he walked up and took a swing at the Asian.
The Asian died and then the Jew yelled Aluakbah and bombed everyone.
Note: they were all boys.

Q: Why did the Asian cross the road?
A: Because he had no car!

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What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?
Personally I’ve got a Sony surround sound system.

Why do Asian women have small tits?
Because only A’s are acceptable.

After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian American friend Appappa decided to spell it out.
“A for apple,” he began. “P for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p for—”
The flustered agent interrupted.
“I have a better idea,” she said. “Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples.”

Underneath China it says “Made in Chuck Norris”.
What the number one crime in asia?
Identity theft.
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, ’cause they couldn’t reach it.

Q: Do you know how Chinese people name their children?
A: They throw some pans and based on the noises they make like “ting tang,” “Dung dung”, “Ting tang dung”

Why are asian people bad at driving?
Because they can’t see.

A African, an American and an Asian are kidnapped by pirates…
The morbid pirates stole all their goods, and then they discussed what to do with them. They conclude the discussion laughing out loud as they approach the prisoners, the captain looks at them and says, “we all agreed that if the three of you measure your penis and you reach a length of 50 cm or more, combined, we let you live, if you don’t, you die”
The three men look at each other nervously and the African says “ok, we got this guys, we can do it”.
​
The American goes first, he drops his pants, grabs his dick, measures it, a whooping 20 cm cock, a good start.
Then the African pulls out his schlong and measures it, and the result is a staggering 25 cm weiner.
Next, the Asian guy is up, he just needs to surpass the 5cm mark and they’re all saved; nervously he unzips his pants and a baby dick springs out, on the sight of it, the other two guys cringe, losing hope that they’ll make it
He measures his dick, and… They all sigh in relief, it is exactly 5 cm long.
​
After they are released the American claims they made it cos his dick was 20 cm long, the African laughs scornfully and says “no way, my dick was 25 cm long, it was thanks to me that we survived”. The Asian guy remains quiet for a while and then says “I think you guys have to thank me for making it, cos if I didn’t have a boner at the time, we’d all be dead right now.”

Three women (redhead, blondie and an asian) have just escaped a prison, and the cops are looking for them…
The girls were running trough the city and went into one of those fruit/ vegetables’ market to hide, and find 3 bag of potatoes big enough for them to hide inside.
After a while, one cop that is looking for them finds the bags, and realize that they’re kind of weird… So he approaches and kicks the first potatoe’s bag, with the asian girl inside…
The asian girl, quickly respond the kick with barking noises: ruff ruff
“Oh… These are just a few dogs!”, says the cop.
He then approaches to the second potatoe’s bag, with the redhead inside, and kicks it as well.
“Meow… Meow”, the redhead answers.
“Oh… These are just a few cats!”, says the cop.
Finally, he gets close to the third potatoe’s bag, with the blondie inside, and kicks it too.
The voice inside the bags respond:
“Potatoes”.

How do they name Chinese baby’s?
They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.

What’s the worst part about sleeping with an Asian woman?
In an hour you’ll be horny again

Asian guy walks into a bar
He sits down at the the bar and start drinking a beer. The guy next to him ask: you know kung fu or karate or any or this shit? The asian guy replies: why you ask this, is because I chinese? The other guy replies no it’s because you’re drinking my fucking beer.

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An Asian walks into a McDonald’s and says, ”
I’ll Have An Eggroll and Some Fry Rye.”
“I’m sorry sir we don’t serve that. Would you like anything else?”
“I have quarter pounder. And when would you like to pick that up…Hiroshima!”

Billy: “I was playing basketball and an Asian crossed me.”
Mark: “Haha, how does an Asian cross you?”
Billy: “Because he crosses multiplies.”

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