80+ Accounting Jokes That Are So Touching!

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funny accounting jokes

There is more than what we think about Jokes? Ain’t it? Well, this section is all about Accounting Jokes That Are So Touching yet has the magic to make us laugh or enjoy at times of need and stress! So, here is your chance to explore the greatness of such Computer Jokes just the way you want!

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Here are our 80+ Accounting Jokes That Are So Touching!

What’s the meaning of a decent duty bookkeeper? Somebody who has an escape clause named after him.

What does CPA rely on? Can’t Pass Again.

There are two guidelines for making a fruitful bookkeeping business:

1) Don’t let them know all that you know.

2) [Redacted]

How might you tell if a bookkeeper is outgoing? He looks are your shoes while he’s conversing with you rather than his own.

A lady was advised she just had a half year to live.

“Goodness my God!” said the lady. “What will I do?”

“Wed a bookkeeper,” proposed the specialist.

“Why?” asked the lady. “Will that make me live more?”

“No,” answered the specialist. “However, it will SEEM longer.”

A bookkeeper is somebody who takes care of an issue you didn’t have any acquaintance with you had in a manner you don’t get it.

What’s the contrast between a bookkeeper and a legal advisor? The bookkeeper knows he’s exhausting.

What’s a bookkeeper’s preferred book? 50 Shades of Gray.

Have you heard the joke about the intriguing bookkeeper? No? Us either.

How does Santa’s bookkeeper esteem his sleigh? Net Present Value.

For what reason do bookkeepers anticipate the ends of the week? Since they can wear easygoing garments to work.

What did the bookkeeper’s significant other state when she couldn’t nod off? “Sweetheart, enlighten me concerning your work.” How do bookkeepers make an intense design proclamation? Wear their dull dim socks rather than the light dark.

What did the bookkeeper state when he got an unlimited free pass? “My conclusions have at last made up for lost time with the pay.”

What do statisticians do to liven up their office party? Welcome a bookkeeper.

Hope you enjoyed reading these Accounting jokes? To read more, just click on our 80+ Accounting Jokes collection and see the difference!

Two things in life are inevitable: death and taxes. At least death only happens once.

accounting jokes

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What is the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.

best accounting jokes

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.

famous accounting jokes

What does an accountant say when boarding a train? “Mind the GAAP.”

funny accounting jokes

For every tax problem there is a solution that is straightforward, uncomplicated, and wrong.

popular accounting jokes

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There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business: 1)Don’t tell them everything you know. 2) [Redacted]

How do you know when an accountant is on holiday? He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8am!

What did the overworked asset say to the other asset? I feel so under depreciated.

Be audit you can be.

A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
“Oh No!” said the woman. “What shall I do?”
“Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor.
“Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?”
“No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”

How many accounts does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many did it take last year?

Some say that nobody should keep too much to themselves. The IRS office is of the same opinion.

What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? Lazy.

Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child, “No, son. It wouldn’t be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking.”

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost.

How do you drive an accountant completely insane? Tie them to a chair and mess up their excel formulas.

Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.

Why do accountants get excited at the weekends? Because they can wear casual clothes to work.

Did you hear about the deviant Forensic Accountant? He got his client’s charges reduced from gross indecency to net indecency.

There are 3 types of accountants. Those who can count and those who can’t.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

What do you call an accountant without a calculator? Lonely.

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How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.

Where there’s a will, there’s a tax shelter.

What would an accountant want for a superpower? Telepathy with an excel spreadsheet.

How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.

What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance? A late night.

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?” “That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”

Why does Santa like visiting the UK?
He can claim Gift Relief.

Accountants don’t die, they get derecognized.

America is the land of opportunity.
Everybody can become a taxpayer!

What’s the difference between death and taxes?
Congress doesn’t meet every year to make death worse.

Ever wonder why they call it a Form 1040?
For every $50 you earn, you get $10, they get $40.

The best things in life are free — plus tax, of course.

Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.

Children may be tax deductible, but they’re still taxing.

A farmer sends his accounting sheepdog, Spot, off to gather in his 8 sheep. On returning the farmer is astonished to find he now has 10 animals in his pen and asks the dog to explain. “Woof! You asked me to round them up, woof”, barks Spot.

Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes?
Because they only have one scent.

How do you know when an accountant’s having a mid-life crisis?
He gets a faster calculator.

Welcome to the Accounting department, where everybody counts.

What’s the definition of an accountant?
A guy who wanted to be a mortician but didn’t have the personality

What is the Army slogan for accountants?
Be audit you can be

What does an accountant use for birth control?
His personality

If an accountant’s wife can’t get to sleep, what does she do?
Leans over to her husband and says “Tell me about work today, honey.”

Why Do Accountants Make Good Lovers?
They’re great with figures.

How Can You Tell You’ve Found a Good Tax Accountant?
He has a loophole named after him.

How did the accountant die?
He lost his balance

What do you a call a 90-year-old accountant?
Someone at the end of their useful life

What’s the Difference Between an Accountant and a Lawyer?
The accountant knows he’s boring.

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Where Do Homeless Accountants Live?
In a tax shelter.

How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
Net Present Value

Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because that’s what he did last year.

What did the accountant do before busy season?
He shot himself in the face

How do you know when an accountant is on vacation
He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8 a.m.

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night,” he says. “Have you tried counting sheep?” asks the doctor. “That’s the problem — I make a mistake and then spend six hours trying to find it.”

What’s an accountant’s favorite brand of cereal?
Post!

Laugh more with a dose of work-life balance for accounting and finance professionals.

How do you know if your son is going to be a CPA?
When you read him the story of Cinderella and get to the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden carriage, and he asks, “Is that ordinary income, or a capital gain?”

You might be a tax accountant if …
… you refer to your child as Deduction 214.

An accountant, after reading a nursery rhyme to his child, says, “No, son. It wouldn’t be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking.”

What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance?
A late night.

A young accountant fresh out of college is interviewed by the owner of a small business. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” says the man. “But mainly I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me. I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters.”
“OK,” says the accountant. “How much are you offering?”
“You can start at $75,000 a year,” says the owner.
“That’s a great salary!” says the young accountant. “How can a business like yours afford to pay so much?”
“That,” says the man, “is your first worry.”

What’s the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.

What does CPA stand for? Can’t Pass Again.

There are two rules for creating a successful accounting business:
1) Don’t tell them everything you know.
2) [Redacted]

How can you tell if an accountant is extroverted? He looks are your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.

A woman was told she only had 6 months to live.
“Oh my God!” said the woman. “What shall I do?”
“Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor.
“Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?”
“No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”

An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he’s boring.

What’s an accountant’s favorite book? 50 Shades of Grey.

Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant? No? Us either.

How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.

Why do accountants look forward to the weekends? Because they can wear casual clothes to work.

What did the accountant’s wife say when she couldn’t fall asleep? “Darling, tell me about your work.”

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How do accountants make a bold fashion statement? Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.

What did the accountant say when he got a blank check? “My deductions have finally caught up with the salary.”

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.

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